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Sunday, December 29, 2013


Love is patient, is kind.  It does not envy others or brag of itself.  It is not swollen with self.  It is not wayward or grasping.  It does not flare with anger, nor harbor a grudge.  It takes no joy in evil, but delights in truth.  It keeps all confidences, all trust, all hope, all endurance.  Love will never go out of existence.  Prophecy will fail in time, languages too, and knowledge as well.  For we know things only partially, or prophesy partially, and when the totality is known, the parts will vanish.  It is like what I spoke as a child- which, now I am grown up, I put aside.  In the same way we see things in a murky reflection now, but shall see them full face when what I have known in part I shall know fully, just as I am known.  For the present, then, three things matter- believing, hoping, and loving.  But supreme is loving.        (1Cor 13. 1-13)

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Give Up Your Life

"Give up the known, give up your life for the mystery of Love's eternal wine."
"But before I die," I said, "I would like to know you."
"Once you know me there will be no more dying."

Reference~ Rumi

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Make the Heart Burn

the heart is a candle
waiting to be lit and illuminated
because of separation from the beloved
it feels ripped and torn
and needs to be sewn back together
if you don't know how to make the heart burn
listen to this:
love is something to encounter not to learn

Reference~ Rumi

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Channeling- The Beloved's Tears

From Journal Entry 12/6/2013

The Beloved cried tears of sorrow.
And the Beloved cried tears of joy.
And the Beloved cried tears of joy for her sorrow.
And the Beloved cried tears of sorrow for her joy.
And like a bird perched on the Lover's shoulder,
the Beloved perceived the Lover's heart through the eyes of her Lover.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Silent Scream

when your absent
life bends to madness
everyone around me
is completely unaware
of the silent scream within me
trying to purge itself
out of it's confinement
if there was such a doorway
to enter my body
all those people who entered
would be deafened
by the scream

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Love's Asylum

You cause me such heart ache and grief.  Are these not signs of a troubled lover?  My head spins with a thousand thoughts of you.  All this spinning has driven me mad.  Knowing that my condition is fatal- I completely lost my mind, so I could be admitted into Love's asylum.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Pitch Darkness

the pitch darkness
I was unable to escape from
it stretched it's arms out into infinity
my moans and groans I thought only the moon could hear
then in the darkness I saw your campsite
it was the only fire I have ever seen in the blackness
when I drew myself near your flame
you engulfed me
and I have never been frightened of the darkness since

Friday, November 29, 2013

Another Unknowable Thing

Beyond your beautiful face I am incapable of ever knowing you.  You continually shock me in ways that I can not describe; things I have never dreamt of or felt.  I'm not satisfied by the mundane in life.  How can I be satisfied when you have shown me things that I never knew existed?  Show me yet another unknowable thing, that I may at my best put to words.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

The Lover and the Beloved, Part 3

69.  The paths of love are both long and short.  For Love is clear, pure and bright, subtle yet simple, strong, diligent, brilliant, and abounding both in fresh thoughts and in old memories.

75.  They asked the Fool: 'Where did thy love have its birth: in the secrets of the Beloved, or in the revelation of them?'  He replied: 'Love in its fullness makes no such distinction as this; for secretly the Lover hides the secrets of his Beloved; secretly also he reveals them, and yet when they are revealed he keeps them secret still.'

76.  The secrets of love, unrevealed, cause anguish and grief; revelation of love brings fervor and fear.  And for this cause The Lover must ever be suffering.

86.  The Lover was sorrowful, and wearied with overmuch thought.  And therefore he begged his Beloved to send him a book, in which he might thereby be relieved.  So the Beloved sent that book to the Lover, and his trials and griefs were doubled.

93.  The Beloved planted in the heart of the Lover sighs and longings, virtue and love.  The Lover watered the seed with his tears.  In the body of the Lover the Beloved planted trials, tribulations and griefs.  And the Lover tended his body with hope and devotion, consolation and patience.

96.  The Beloved left the Lover, and the Lover sought Him in his thoughts, and inquired for Him of men in the language of love.  The Lover found his Beloved, who was despised among the people, and he told the Beloved what great wrong was done to His name. The Beloved answered him, and said: 'Lo, I suffer these wrongs for want of fervent and devoted lovers.'  The Lover wept, and his sorrow was increased, but the Beloved comforted him, by revealing to him His presence.

97.  The light of the Beloved's abode came to illumine the Lover's dwelling, which was full of darkness, and to fill it with joy, with grief and with thoughts.  And the Lover cast out all things from his dwelling, that the Beloved might be lodged there.

Reference~ Book of the Lover and the Beloved, Ramon Lull

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The Lover and the Beloved, Part 2

44.  There are two fires that warm the love of a true Lover: one is of pleasures, desires and thoughts: the other is of weeping and crying, of fear and grief.

45.  The Lover longed for solitude, and went away to live alone, that he might gain the companionship of his Beloved, for amid many people he was lonely.

49.  Whether Lover and Beloved are near or far is all one; for their love mingles as water mingles with wine.  They are linked as heat with light; they approach and are united as Essence and Being.

56.  The heart of the Lover soared to the heights of the Beloved's abode, so that he might not lose his love for Him in the deep places of this world.  And when he reached his Beloved he contemplated Him with joy and delight.  But the Beloved led him down again to this world to make trial of him with tribulations and adversities.

62.  'Say, Fool of Love, if thy Beloved no longer cared for thee, what wouldst thou do?'  'I should love Him still,' he replied.  'Else must I die; seeing that to cease to love is death and love is life.'

63.  They asked the Lover what he meant by perseverance.  'It is both happiness and sorrow,' he answered, 'in the Lover who ever loves, honours and serves his Beloved with courage, patience, and hope.'

65.  They asked the Lover, what he meant by happiness.  'It is sorrow,' he replied, 'borne for Love's sake.'  'O Fool,' they answered, 'what, then, is sorrow?'  'It is the remembrance of dishonor done to my Beloved, who is worthy of all honour.'  And they asked him again: 'What is misery?'  'To get one's desires in this world,' he replied, 'for such fleeting joys are followed by perpetual torment.'

67.  Said the Lover to his Beloved:  'Thou art all, and through all, and in all, and with all.  I would give Thee all of myself that I may have all of Thee, and Thou all of me.'  The Beloved answered: 'Thou canst not have Me wholly unless thou art wholly Mine.'  And the Lover said: 'Let me be wholly Thine and be Thou wholly mine.'  The Beloved answered: 'If I am wholly Thine, what part in Me will thy son have, thy brother, thy sister and thy father?'  The Lover replied: 'Thou, O my Beloved, art so great Whole, that Thou canst abound, and yet be wholly of each one who gives himself wholly to Thee.'

Reference~ Book of the Lover and the Beloved, Ramon Lull

Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Lover and the Beloved, Part 1

17.  There was a contention between the eyes and the memory of the Lover, for the eyes said that it was better to see the Beloved than to remember Him.  But Memory said that remembrance brings tears to the eyes, and makes the heart to burn with love.

18.  The Lover asked the Understanding and the Will which of them was the nearer to his Beloved.  And the two ran, and the Understanding came nearer to the Beloved than did the Will.

20.  Sighs and Tears came to be judged by the Beloved, and asked Him which of them loved Him the more deeply.  And the Beloved gave judgment that sighs were nearer to the seat of love, and tears to the eyes.

22.  The Lover fell sick and thought on the Beloved, who fed him on His merits, quenched his thirst with love, made him to rest in patience, clothed him with humility, and as medicine gave him truth.

27.  The Lover was wearied, for he had labored much in seeking for his Beloved; and he feared lest he should forget Him.  And he wept, that he might not fall asleep, and his Beloved be absent from his remembrance.

28.  The Lover and the Beloved met, and the Beloved said to the Lover: 'Thou needest not to speak to Me,- for thine eyes speak to My heart,- that I may give thee what thou willst.'

29.  The Lover was disobedient to his Beloved; and the Lover wept.  And the Beloved came in the vesture of His Lover, and died, that His Lover might regain what he had lost.  So He gave him a greater gift than that which He had lost.

31.  The Lover said: 'The secrets of my Beloved torture me, for my deeds reveal them not, and my mouth keeps silence and reveals them to none.'

Note to Reader- The Beloved is referred to as a male because in the perfect image of God, the female womb is turned inside out to represent the perfect androgynous being (both female and male).

Reference ~ Book of the Lover and the Beloved, Ramon Lull


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

There Is No Hell Only Karma

The article “A Case Against Hell” reveals that the entire concept of Hell is absent from the Old Testament.  The Hebrew word that is translated as “Hell” in most Bibles today is sheol, which means “grave.”  The word sheol appears only thirty-one times in the entire Old Testament.  Sheol, the grave, is where everyone must go regardless of how they lived their lives.  God doesn’t warn Adam and Eve about there being a Hell if they eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil- only that this action would cause death.  Cain is not warned about Hell.  Nor are the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.  Moses does not warn of there being a Hell in the Ten Commandments- or in more than 600 warnings, laws, and ordinances in the Mosaic Law.

In the New Testament, Jesus occasionally used the Greek word Gehenna to describe what will happen to us if we engage in negative, self-serving behaviors.  The same word root for Gehenna is not translated as “Hell” when it appears in the Old Testament Hebrew as ga ben Hinnom- the valley of the son of Hinnom.

This valley was a horrible place; it started out as a location where children were sacrificed to the owl-god Moloch.  Over time the ritual murders stopped and Gehenna became the main garbage dump for the entire city.  Dead bodies were routinely burned there.  Gehenna was therefore a necessary place for cleansing and purifying the land through fire.  This appears to be the deepest meaning of the metaphor Jesus was using.

In the World English Dictionary the word Gehenna is “a place or state of pain and torment.”  Therefore Jesus was teaching the law of Karma.  Causing pain and torment to others would cause similar pain and torment in your own life as a form of purification.  The concept of karma was expressed in Galations 6:7 “As you sow, so shall you reap.”  The spiritual teachings of Jesus can deliver us from the danger of Gehenna- from the fires of karma that burn out our impurities- by revealing what life on earth is here to teach us.

Reference~ The Synchronicity Key by David Wilcock

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Pilgrim's Way

With the goal in sight, the Pilgrim is set on the Way.  What good or bad comes along his journey, he does not heed or deter from danger.  His fidelity is to the Beloved.  Love's audacity cares nothing about jealousy or pride.

The Pilgrim conquers his fears and does not stray from the Way.  For if he does, famine will take root in his soul and death will follow.  It is wise to leave a Pilgrim to his Way, so his heart doesn't harden and you become the enemy.

Friday, November 1, 2013



This book is a compilation of my blog posts of the first three years.  My posts have an order to them based on synchronicity.  For example, the Old Hag, in the very beginning of the blog, it is dated as an experience from my childhood.  The actual post date of the Old Hag is at the time when I learned about her.  It just so happened that one of my coworkers and I were talking about the supernatural, and she shared a similar experience.  I finally had a name to put to it and thus began my research on the Old Hag.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Without A Lot of Hoopla

That conch shell you crawled into on land, then grew so large in there, you got stuck-

I am going to help get you out.  It is just a matter now of whether I should use my hammer,

or chant some magic words that could knock twenty pounds off your ego and/or waistline. 

Then you could just slip back into God without a lot of hoopla and sweat on both our parts.

Sorry though.  I don't think there is any special tonic, or voodoo, to remedy a plight quite like yours.

So brace yourself sweetheart. Here I come!

Reference~ Rumi

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Bartering Your Being

If I was skilled in bartering, I would recognize a flawless diamond from other diamonds. What is the price of bartering your being?  And how could I ever justify bartering to keep you?  I could not do such a thing!  I had to completely abandon you to have any guarantees of having your most valuable possession.  You sacrificed yourself so I could claim it.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Path of Discomfort

People are often offended by the knowledge they need most.  We resist our deepest education... While we seek agreement, protection, and security, our best path may be towards discomfort.

Reference~ Not in His Image, John Lash

Monday, October 14, 2013

Greater Need

How is all of your substance to be absorbed into my being without your absence?  Your absence birthed my being.  Love must bend to the greater need.

If I held you near me at all times, how could I disappear into you?  Ordinary men reject to this kind of pain.  You are not an ordinary man.  Meeting your greater need requires separation.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Sapphire's Letter to Arion: Arion's Weaknesses


When have you ever displayed your vulnerability towards me?  Such a gesture would sway my heart and put an end to my self destructive habits.  One-third of your self you have revealed to me.  The rest of you lies in your weaknesses you keep hidden.

You remain impassive even as I endure the insults of others.  Many voyages I would take to you to fulfill your need.  Yet my need remains ignored.  Are you the same one who was cooked in union, and now stands outside the door waiting to come in? 

To hell with your reputation and what others think of you!  We are indifferent with each other. I am always willing to submit to your every command.  I have opened the door to your cage and you behave like a prudent bird unwilling to abandon it. 

Your insensitivity towards me only makes me wish I could vanish from this world.  Then there would be no trace of me and it would leave you to wonder whether I was killed by my enemy.  I would then not be entangled in the affairs of this world or of the heart.  I would be the bird set free!

Your Darling

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Wisdom and The Whore

Wisdom came to seduce a man's spirit, to win his heart through her mystery.  She spoke to his heart with her heart.  Man was drawn to her mysteries.
The unknown qualities of love draws a man's spirit upwards.  These are the hidden aspects of divine love.

The whore seduced the man and shared his bed.  She sentenced herself and him to a lifetime of death.  The sexual appetite was animalistic; therefore of the flesh and not divine.  The whore keeps a man bound to the flesh.  He continues to fall into the world of the gods, missing the mark by his untamed animalistic desires.

Wisdom came to seduce a man's spirit, so as to free him from the chains of death and rebirth.  Only Wisdom offers release from the flesh.  She only demands that you sacrifice your heart.

Friday, September 27, 2013

My Mood

When my mood changed the delicacy of my love packed her bag.  She said, "He will only pluck out my feathers and I will have no beauty!"

The compassion of my love boasted, "I will leave and he will then desire me!"

The patience of my love ridiculed and scolded, "I am running out of time, for as I wait I am only growing old!"

All this griping and complaining is unproductive.  When my mood quiets down she'll whisper, "There is no greater pleasure than the wound of love."

A heart never broken would never understand this game called love.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Rumi- My Favorite Lines

~ I have remained in the prison of the world out of kindness where am I from, and the prison, where is it from?  Who have I stolen?

~ Know that there is but a single person in the world, that that person is with you, that it exists for you, works for you, and desires you.

~ All that is in the universe is not outside you, Look within for everything you want for it is you.

~ Desire the one who holds you in his desire.  Seek the one who holds you in his quest.

~ From the moment you went away I was separated from your gentle honey like wax.

~ Every evening I burn like a candle.  Joined to his flame, deprived of his affection.

~ I am like a lyre, my head bent in submission.  You, with either hand, strike and caress me.

~ Seeing how many miles you have to go, I set up a little stall on your route.  I serve a nice cup of tea, and I am never too busy to chat.

~ There is not a flood in all the worlds that can douse a sacred flame in me, that builds, that rises even higher, each time I slay another fear.

~ In love, ask for madness give up reasoning, give up life.  Look for dangerous adventures in deserts filled with blood and fire!

~ My heart twisted with passion in the fire of your words.  Now I see what I saw as fire was only ice.  What I saw as water, only a mirage and our story, an old forgotten dream.


Saturday, September 21, 2013

Dissolve Into Nothingness

If you stand in front of me and stare intently into my eyes, you may know my knowing.  If you stand, nose to nose, and gaze into my eyes- another dimension might open up where neither one of us knows nothing.  Here we dissolve into nothingness.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Story of Sapphire & Arion: Arion's Awakening

In his hour of vulnerability and weakness, Arion sorrowfully prayed to God.  All his disappointments and heart's longings he poured out to Him.  Arion prayed until his mind and soul were fatigued.  When Arion had nothing left in him, his body succumbed to sleep.

In a single moment, God satisfied Arion's longing and opened up the Supernal Gates.  Arion awakened in the presence of his beloved.  God revealing himself behind the lovers' kiss.  His ache was satisfied and the fire of his passion consumed him.  Arion could not distinguish his limbs separate from hers.  Arion was inside of God, inside of love.

Half a world away, Sapphire had prayed at the exact same time.  Arion's absence unbearable, she prayed to God for relief. She begged for death.  As tears streamed down Sapphire's face, she succumbed to sleep.  Unaware that God would satisfy her ache.

And so it came to pass, that on that night at the hour, their two sides were fused together.  Arion and Sapphire became a slave to love.  They both knew that death was the marital bed. 

Friday, September 13, 2013


As my cries go unheard, I seek God in His hiding place.  In the sorrows of my yesterdays I have wasted those forgotten days chasing shadows.  And now the ghosts of my past haunt me.  They won't let me rest. 

In my gross misunderstanding of your absence, I fail my Lord to not perceive your nearness.  It is due to my spiritual blindness that I doubt your ever presence.

Faith upholds a man or woman in his or her hour of need.  Surely whatever amount of days you have prescribed to this body, Lord, I must remain steadfast in my faith.  You have hidden yourself within my very body and in ignorance I have searched the world for proof.  I search no more in vain.

In the secret chambers of my heart I will meet you there.  When the Beloved retreats within your presence is known.  Quietly I retreat within and shut the door.  No created thing can enter here.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Dream of Chemical Warfare and Syria

From Journal Entry 9/9/2013

There was a celebration at a woman's house.  She is surrounded by friends.  There are many candles on her kitchen counter.  Someone lights the first candle and all the other candles mysteriously light on their own.  Everyone is perplexed by this but thinks nothing of it.  The woman  then blows one of the candles out and notices a foul odor.  She suddenly realizes that the candles are the same candles her company manufactures and produces for chemical warfare. She refers to them as lice. She is panicked and begins to swat the smoke from in front of her face.  She and the crowd are now desperately trying to get out of the house.  Bugs begin to crash into her kitchen window.  Once outside a boy is foaming at the mouth dying painfully.

I see myself in outer space praying and crying to God asking, why is man so cruel to each other? 

Dream Meaning:

A military strike in Syria would spark a war.  The candles represent the weapons that we have supplied to other countries, that in turn will use them against us.  The lice has dual meaning- first, this is something we should distance ourselves from and secondly, literally lies. There are many lies being told to perhaps propagate a war.
A military strike would have devastating effects on everyone and animal life. It would ignite a war unforeseen and unimaginable.  The lost of human life inevitable.  Lastly, outer space means something that has just comes out of nowhere.  We won't know the targets of the enemy.

Chemical Weapons 101

Chemical weapons can be delivered in solid, liquid, or gas forms.  World War I saw the use of chemical warfare agents, those that affect the lungs- chloride gas and chlorine gas.  The Germans used it on British soldiers, killing hundreds. 

Another type of chemical warfare agent is nitrogen mustard gas.  It was used in the Iran-Iraq war.  It mains, cripples, and kills many whose flesh blisters away or who dies from asphyxiation.

Thirdly, the nerve gas agents.  These chemicals act by unhooking the nerves one from the other by chemically interfering in the nerve synapse, resulting in complete loss of neuralgic control.  Symptoms may range from palpitations and severe sweating to paralysis, convulsions, and death.  Assad is suspected of using this type of chemical weapon on the Syrian people.

It is my deepest prayer that a peaceful solution will put an end to the immediate threat of war.


Friday, September 6, 2013

The Root of Wickedness

So long as the root of wickedness is hidden, it is strong.  But when it is recognized, it is dissolved.  When it is revealed, it perishes... As for ourselves, let us each dig down after the root of evil which is within each of us, and produces its fruit in our hearts.  It masters us.  We are its slaves.  It takes us captive, to make us do what we do not want, and what we do want we do not do.  It is powerful because we have not recognized it.

The Gospel of Philip says, "Ignorance is the mother of all evil."

Reference~ Not In His Image: Gnostic Vision, Sacred Ecology, and the Future of Belief

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Become The Sacrifice

You are to conceited for your own good.  You attract the attention of the sun, but in your ignorance you are blinded by her illuminating light.  She won't pay any attention to you; until you temper your flirtatious nature and become the sacrifice.

Friday, August 30, 2013

My Concerns

My concerns changed after I saw your face.
Concerns about money and time are bothersome, toiless thoughts.
My concerns about what others think about me, or if I have offended another, seems irrelevant now.
Concerns about my beauty fading just are useless concerns.
My only concern is getting another glimpse of your face that dissolved away all of my other concerns.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Brave the Unknown

As I take a look inside, I see in a corner a little girl afraid of the unknown and all the uncertainties that lie ahead.  She is full of fear.  It steals her breath.  She can not move- movement terrifies her.  The future is vast and it's territory wide and barren like a desert.  Nothing much can grow in such a hostile environment.

The little girl ponders the stillness of the desert.  It provides a comfort familiar to her soul.  She remembers a sacred place that is only spirit.  She remembers how life teaches her beingness and expands her heart.

A gentle wind sweeps across the desert.  She submits to its wisdom.  The heat from the desert sets a fire in her heart creating a path of new beginnings.  I comfort the little girl and together we brave the unknown.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Four Elements

Within your nature
is every element,
so listen to
some sage advice:

You are demon
and wild beast
and angel
and human-

Whatever you cultivate,
that you will be.

Reference~ Baba Afdal Kashani

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Bare The Ache

What do I do with this ache deep inside of me?
It begs for my attention.
It begs for open space.
It wants love in the raw.
It begs to venture out and explore the landscape.
It wishes to bridge the present with eternity.
It insists the only way is to bare the ache and reflect on the loneliness.
One must bare the ache until something new emerges within it.

Monday, August 12, 2013

The Murder of Hypatia: The Pagan Noblewoman

Hypatia was the daughter of Theon of Alexandria, the last known teacher of the Mystery Schools.  She is thought to of been born in 370 C.E.  Theon was headmaster at the Museum of Alexandria.  The place was dedicated to a higher education of learning, embodying a “sacred art” of astronomy, lyric poetry, history and diverse subjects such as:  geometry, sacred dance, herbology, engineering, and medicine.

In the year 400, Hypatia assumed the chair of mathematics at the university school.  This was a salaried position, equivalent to professorship in a modern university.  She was known for her skill in theurgy, literally “god-working.”  When it came to debating ideas about the divine, “Hypatia eclipsed in argument every proponent of the Christian doctrines in Northern Egypt.  Her expertise in theology typified the Pagan intellectual class of Gnostics, “those who understand divine matters, knowing as the gods know.”  Her openness won her the admiration of the townsfolk. 

 The word philosophy means “love (philo) of wisdom (Sophia).”  To Gnostics, Sophia was a revered divinity, the goddess whose story they recounted in their sacred cosmology.  To the people of her time, Hypatia would have been wisdom incarnate.

The Mysteries provided a framework for education.  The gnostokio were prolific writers that produced a thousand scrolls stored in the Royal Library of Alexandria.  Hypatia is known to have written a treatise on arithmetic, commentaries on the Astronomical Canon of Ptolemy, and the conic sections of Apollonius of Perga.  None of her writings survive.

Hypatia was active in civic affairs dominated by men.  She was opposed by Cyril, the Christian bishop of Alexandria.  Cyril regarded her as a heretic and her very existence posed a threat to him.  Cyril would be rumored to of ordered her murder.  Her murder marked the end of Paganism and the dawn of the Dark Ages.

In March of 415, Hypatia entered a public square near the Cesarean Church where Christian Converts were known to gather.  She drove her own chariot, which was unheard of for a woman to do in that time.  Her path was blocked by a menacing crowd.  At the head of the group was Peter the Reader, whom was a believer of Christianity and whom admired Cyril.

Cyril’s protégés openly attacked Pagan doctrines.  One of his protégés was prosecuted by a local prefect that Hypatia had sided with.  Cyril had an axe to grind with Hypatia.  Peter exhorted the crowd to throw tiles at Hypatia and pull her from the chariot.  She struggled to free herself.  The crowd stripped off her robes.  The violence escalated as Peter the Reader fed the attack with shouts calling her a vile heretic and a witch.

Hypatia cried for help while members of the local populace stood by helplessly.  She was beaten and blood surrounded her body.  The mob dismembered her body and used razor-sharp oyster shells to remove her flesh.  When the men were done, they took the bones to a place called Cindron and burned them to ashes.

Cyril would become an important theologian known for formulating the doctrine of the Holy Trinity.  He was later canonized by the Church as one of the so-called Church Fathers, men whose theological polemics and histories of the One True Faith celebrate its triumph over “heretics” such as Hypatia.  The Roman Church’s mission was to annihilate all traces of Pagan and Gnostic literature.  The religious beliefs of the Christians also inspired and legitimated their genocidal acts towards non-Christians.  The cult of righteousness took root and spread it’s vileness to all parts of the world today.

Reference~ Not In His Image by John Lamb Lash

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Wind's Mindfulness

Man's forgetfulness of God is like the wind.  When it blows you feel it but pay no attention to it.  The wind is invisible and belongs to the invisible world.  Here in the visible world it's essence is felt.  This is how God is-  His being is all around us.  If man could just become forgetful of this world and let the wind carry him, he would become the wind's mindfulness.  The wind's mindfulness is the veil of God.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

A Baby In The Womb

How can a man grasp the inner world with landscapes colored by nothing seen by the human eye?  A baby in the womb would call you a liar if you told him there are mountains, streams, blue skies, and green grass with four legged animals walking on land; and even more wonders in the sea.  The baby would dismiss your flights of fancy and deem you mad.  A blind man is content with his state and does not wish to attain to higher spiritual grades.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Meditation on Death

From time to time, as an integral part of your spiritual practice, meditate on your death.  Ask yourself what you might do to purify your heart more deeply, say what needs to be said to others, and perform more righteous deeds.  Do all of this not with a sense of fear but out of a soul-felt desire to become free and fulfilled.  The Prophet Muhammad has sage advice for all of us: "When you were born, everyone was smiling but you were crying.  Live such a life that when you depart, everyone is weeping but you are smiling."

Reference~ Spiritual Gems of Islam by Imam Jamal Rahman

Monday, July 22, 2013

Triple Number Meanings

From Journal Entry 12/18/12

My prayer:  God help me let go and forgive; help me heal; help me to move forward.

After I prayed, I put the radio on 99.9 and went into my bedroom.  About 10 minutes later I heard static. I thought maybe my daughter might have changed the station, but she was playing in the play room.  No one else was home.  When I looked at the radio it was on 100.0.  I than thought that the universe was trying to tell me something. Being open already to synchronicity, I posed the question, "What exactly God are you trying to tell me?"

To my astonishment the book I went back to reading then gave insight to the meaning of triple numbers. That was proof enough for me.  I felt my prayer was acknowledged and I could have some comfort in knowing I am being helped.

Triple Number Meanings

111: There is a gate of opportunity opening up, and your thoughts are manifesting into form at record speed.

222: Don't worry about anything as the situation is resolving itself beautifully for everyone involved.

333: The ascended masters are near you, desiring you to know that you have their hope, love, and companionship.

444: Thousands of angels surround you at this moment, loving, and supporting you.

555: A major life change is upon you.

666: Your thoughts are out of balance right now, focused to much on the material world.

777: Keep up the good work and know your wish is coming true.

888: You are winding up an emotional career or relationship phase.  It also means there is light at the end of the tunnel.

999: Get to work light worker!  The world needs your divine life purpose right now.

000: A reminder you are one with God.  In addition, it is a sign that a situation has gone full circle.

Reference~ Healing with Angels by Doreen Virtue

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Since That Day

Since that day,
I have memorized your face.

Since that day,
The sun does not compare to the sun behind your eyes.

Since that day,
I have become a beggar.

Since that day,
I have restless sleep.

Since that day,
I have mourned your absence.

Since that day,
My heart has become a rose garden.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Purchase Death

I came into this world to purchase death.  This is the marketplace to barter and trade.  All my debts I can repay with my head.  That is the price for union with the Beloved.  He only asks I surrender all my goods and humble myself as a servant.  This marketplace is your only chance to see the Beloved.  There are no shops in heaven to barter your debts.  Seize the moment and cut off your head!

Sunday, July 7, 2013


Is the cruelness of winter over?  Can my heart have rest now?  My soul soars out of its cage.  It is drawn to the place of placelessness.  It is seeking union with the Beloved.  In this region passions are burnt at the alter.

Monday, July 1, 2013


Remorse is scarce in the world today.
Remorse yields grace.
Remorse yields beauty.
Remorse yields compassion.
Remorse heals hurts.
Remorse heals the spirit;
thus remorse heals a man.
Remorse serves the other.
Remorse serves to free a man from his burdens.
Remorse serves the divinity in man.
Remorse was shown towards Christ.
Forgiveness is given to all who display remorse.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Our Book

Our book writes itself.  We give reverence to its revealings by dropping to our knees.  The prayer mat under our feet is our heart.  We remain true to its whisperings and make disciples out of the unbelievers.

Friday, June 21, 2013

No Roots

From one moment to the next,
I change my mind about you-
from clinging to you to pushing you far away.
I delight in your memory and toil in its goneness.
From one moment to the next, 
I wish to draw you near my heart;
then I change my mind and wish to be free of you.
I am constantly changing my position on you.
I am a changing thing with no roots.
Forms gather attachments;
love is just a word that clings.
I cling to change and changing myself is all I have to offer you.
What else is love if it does not expand?
I would be bored with myself and you if I remained unchanged.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Sapphire's Letter to Arion: Next Year's Language


What are you waiting for my love?  Are you to paralyzed in fear to speak?  Do you doubt your earth walk is divine love?   When will the day come that you unleash your heart on mine?  When will the sorrows of your yesterdays be buried in their proper resting place?  Speak to me and I will be humbled at your revealings.  Speak to me the language of an ancient friendship between two hearts.  The moon appears as a sliver but the fullness of its becomings is us.  Have you forgotten this truth?  You are wise beyond your years.  Perhaps you stay away for good reason.  To hell with reason!  My soul cries out, "Stir me up, turn me inside out!  I want to see beyond this pasture.  I want to see next year's language!"

Your Darling

Monday, June 10, 2013

The Angel of Death

Bawa meets the Angel of Death.  This is his mystical experience with the Angel of Death.

I saw that the Angel of Death had four faces; one face was black, one was the face of milk, one was the face of fire, the other face was looking at a tree all the time.

 I greeted him saying, “May the peace of God be with you.”  When I looked at him, I found that the whole world was within his eyes, every life was within his eyes.

When I looked at the face of milk, it was a beautiful face.  I looked at the face of fire, and it was burning like fire.  The black face was very dark, and the fourth face was turned towards the tree.  As the souls came toward him, he stretched his hand out and grabbed them.  There was a huge mountain of souls.

Then I spoke to the Angel of Death.  He said, “Look at my eyes.  The whole world is within my eyes.  I do the work given to me by Allah.  There is no soul that can escape my eyes, even if it is hiding under a stone.  No one can hide from me.  They cannot live any place where I cannot see.” 

I asked the Angel, “You are always looking toward this tree.  What are those lights?”

And he said, “All souls of all lives are on this tree.  As soon as a light stops twinkling, we know that a life is ending.  The same light that shines here also shines within each creation.  The light represents the light of each individual’s soul.  Within each person it is the soul, and here is the light.  As soon as the light fades here on the tree, it means the person’s allotted food and water in the world is over, and it is time for me to bring him back.  So I stretch my hand in his direction and summon him here.  I have to be looking at the tree every moment to see when a light stops blinking.  That is why I must keep a constant watch on this tree.”

“The souls of jinns are captured by my face of fire.  Evil beings are captured with my black face.  Those good people who have the benevolence of God, His thoughts, and His remembrance, I receive with my face of milk.  Like the newborn baby suckles milk so gently from the breast without any pain to the mother, I will gently draw the soul of those who are good.  I will draw them with the face of milk.”

“I am neither above or below.  You cannot say that I am in a particular place.  The world is within every human being, and all worlds can be seen within my eyes.  I realize everything that is within me.”

Then he motioned to me to go further and look, and I saw that the number of people going to heaven were few and the number of people going to hell were many.

Reference~To Die Before Death The Sufi Way of Life by Bawa Muhaiyaddeen

Saturday, June 1, 2013


There are many becomings that lie ahead.  If I trust this love then I become love- timeless and free- moving towards eternity.  The becomings of eternity are unexplored regions of my heart.  If I brave the sea of infinity I will discover a new truth and a new passage in my heart that leads to you.  I will see with clarity that any movement on my part is movement towards you.  I will know with certainty that which my heart already knows; that my life unfolding is you.

Monday, May 27, 2013

No Rest Under the Sun

There is no rest under the sun.
There is only toil and darkness.
The shadows linger on the ground-
   my grave empty.
This is the place of decaying things.
The light that does enter fades
   into the west sky.
It permeates my existence.
Is my life of any value to anyone?
Who will remember me when I am
   buried in my grave?

There is no rest under the sun.
My heart longs for you.
I toil day and night searching for you.
I call your name but get no response.
I came into this world to claim your love.
Here I am!
Hungry my soul is to be with you.
This world has torn us apart,
   and only death will offer relief for me.
On the other side I will meet you,
   and never depart from your side again.


Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Vision of Your Face

Your love, from before
the beginning of time,
is my soul-
it's my very self.

Your love is the treasure
of my weak, begging heart.

Perhaps your beauty
has been far from me-
but the vision
of your face
has stayed with me always.

Reference~ Sultan Walad

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

What Is Love?

There are two kinds of love, illusionary and real, false and true.  False love eludes, frightens, and confuses us. True love is sublimely simple, for unlike false love that has many desires real love has but one aspiration: To Share. 

False love is jealous.
False love tells lies.
False love is boastful.
False love pays lip service.
False love is insecure.
False love deceives.
False love is greedy.
False love makes demands.
False love clings.
False love smothers.
False love is guilty.
False love "turns me on."
False love is placed on pedestals.
False love is paid for with dead mink.
False love divorces.
False love complains.
False love is convenient.
False love looks out for number one.
False love reads like a grocery list:
False love runs on empty.
False love is hate.

Reference~ Kabbalah for the Layman by Rav Berg

Monday, May 6, 2013

Dante's Bride

The man Dante exiled from Florence.  The bride Beatrice haunts his dreams.  She in her bridal gown; the Lord cradling Dante's bride in His arms.  Dante's beating heart in the Lord's hand- offered to His bride.  She graciously devours it and her bridal gown is stained with Dante's blood. 

She is the divine bride forever united to her groom through a ritual sacrifice that demands death.  Beatrice travels between his world and the Other.  Her heart yearning for him.  Her weeping soul floods Dante's mind.  He can not bare her grief and his separation from her. 

He fills his emptiness with numerous lovers.  They share his bed, but not his heart.  The shame wounds his soul.  Abandoning allusive love- Dante ponders his heart.  The image of Beatrice causes unbearable pain.  Dante finds bitter relief in writing. His words on the paper reflect love's intelligence.  Dante's unquenchable desire for his bride becomes an inner journey.  He finds it is a journey of the heart from the beginning to the end. Love's intelligence reveals the mystery of the lovers' separation.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Stringing Beads Now Available

Stringing Beads available in paperback!
Follow link:


 About the author: Madison Meadows grew up in rural Illinois. As a child her parents did not believe she was being attacked by a demon. They divorced when she was nine and this caused her to go into a depression. She moved to Phoenix to live with her father at the age of 15. Her complicated inner life she kept hidden. She started down a road of self destruction when at the age of 18 she became an exotic dancer. Her Christian upbringing brought her shame and her demons haunted her. She began to journal her dreams, insights, spirit encounters, and astral projections. Her faith in God got her through many dark nights. She has been blogging about her supernatural experiences for the last three years. Madison Meadows has learned that the worst things in your life are there to strengthen your spirit. Madison's mad love for God enables her to share with others her incredible journey.

Stringing Beads: Making a Beautiful Life

Friday, April 26, 2013

The Virtue of Chastity

The statue, The Virtue of Chastity in Rome, Italy, is of a bare-breasted woman who holds an open rose in her left hand and in her right is grasped the horn of a unicorn.  This is the image of chastity.  The unicorn has its roots in Christianity.

Her breasts are the image of a woman breast-feeding-the nourishment representing the outpouring of her love.  The rose is a symbol of the feminine mystery and the unicorn horn a symbol of the masculine mystery.  Her outstretched hands represent her desire to bring the two mysteries together in creative harmony.

The unicorn seems intent on reaching the rose, but he must be guided by the fair maiden if he is to honor the rose and not violate it.  The rose is a symbol of the beauty of love, divine love.  Chastity allows us to discover the beauty of loves potency and strength.  The rose symbolizes the tenderness of love.  The maiden holds the rose gently as if to indicate the delicacy of chastity.  The horn symbolizes power and danger and must be held firmly.

If it is properly harnessed it can be the "horn of salvation," a source of healing.  This is an animal that demands respect: it can gore you or save your life depending on one's reverence for its power.  The maiden guides the unicorn's power rightly.

The maiden who has "captured the unicorn" evokes an image of Eros that is properly disciplined but nevertheless wild.  Wildness directed upwards launches one into infinity.  One then shares in the mystery of the fire of divine love.  Disciplining Eros is true freedom.  One is no longer a slave to their desires- one becomes a slave to God.  Chastity reveals God's mad love.

Reference~ Fill these Hearts by Christopher West

Friday, April 19, 2013

A Glimpse of My Ebook Stringing Beads

I was twenty-four when I encountered the Friend.  On one of my days of worshipping God there was a knock on the door.  When I opened the door and my eyes met his eyes I felt Eternity open up.  My soul had recognized this man's soul.  Every part of my being and body trembled in fear and awe.  That encounter would have me searching and asking, "What is this consciousness behind this awareness?"  In a single moment I was forever changed and my yearning for God deepened.

Link to My Ebook Stringing Beads:
Stringing Beads due out on April 29, 2013

Monday, April 15, 2013

Reveal Eternity

All humans have a beginning, middle, and end.  This is the illusion of existence.  Finite is this world- everything in it perishes.  The soul is eternal.  Only Light dispels darkness and reveals Truth.  Be a vessel of Light and reveal Eternity.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Blemishes on my Heart

My heart has blemishes.  It is because of my doubt that there are blemishes.  I can confess my love and call out to the Beloved, but after a hundred times of doing this and getting no response doubt sets in.  In the Unseen my heart is certain of your existence.  In this world my humanness prevents me from knowing with certainty of your existence. 

To question such matters is a step closer to the Divine.  A man who has no knowledge of the Unseen world would never ponder such thoughts.  His existence would only know of one death.  There is another death that causes One to flee from this world.  That One finds refuge in the Unseen resting in the arms of the Beloved.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Fatal Wound

I am caught between life and death- dying a slow death.  His arrow struck my heart and caused a fatal wound.  Once again reminding me of the depth of His love.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Astral Projection: The Moon

From Journal Entry 1/26/13

I find myself in my astral body.  I say that I want to fly past the five moons and the five suns.  The stars I see in the sky are amazing!  As I approach the first moon I am joyfully repeating, "Beautiful moon, beautiful moon!"  I think to myself this is a long journey.  I can see the second moon.  I am almost to it.  I suddenly wake up in my body.

The prophet Issiah says, "The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lord shall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory.  Isa 60:19-20

Kabir says that if you want to encounter God you have to travel past the stars, the five moons, and the five suns towards your true home.  Pass through the sky and the star; take courage and cross also the inner sun and moon, then you will be able to reach and place your head at the doorstep of the Lord's court.

Reference~ Kabir The Weaver of God's Name

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Gone From My Sight

My dear neighbor and friend, Ed Santilli passed away March 4, 2013.  At his memorial was this eulogy by Henry Van Dyke.  The passage is the most beautiful expression of death I have ever read. Where one journey for the soul ends; becomes a new beginning just in a different form.

I am standing upon the seashore.  A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.  She is an object of beauty and strength.  I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"
"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight.  This is all.  She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.  And just at the moment when someone at my side says:  "There, she is gone!"  there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"
And that is dying.

Reference~ Henry Van Dyke