MADISON MEADOWS: A Spiritual Journey into Mysticism, Dreams, Twin Flames, & Soulful Healing

when he left he pulled all my emotions from me i wanted to say so much more than i did say to him i wanted him to stay and never leave so much i wanted from him and so much regret left in me not knowing if i should of said more or if i said too much  to push him away rejection sucks whether it's presented as a proper goodbye  or as a silent retreat into the unknown  and the one thing you're left with is a mouthful of regrets 

"And if you should ever find yourself feeling lonely, my dear, let yourself gaze up at the night sky at each of the stars and remind yourself that some other person at some point in history, time or space gazed up at the same stars and felt exactly as you feel now and you are connected in your heart space with all who have ever felt the same way at some point in their life: lonely, lost, isolated, dissatisfied or unhappy which is every person in existence. And so in feeling lonely,  you are connected to all of humanity and no matter how alone you may feel, you are never truly alone. And as you gaze at the stars, remind yourself that there are more of them that exist than there are grains of sand on the Earth, for the Universe is so incredibly vast and expansive beyond our imagination and yet, out of the trillions of stars and planets that exist, you are here on this one, alive and breathing. How could this be a random accident? And so the biggest mistake  you could ever make i...

she dragged years behind her struggling with loss fighting off fatigue  wanting to forge a new path without so much baggage  years of wars fought grenades thrown at her landmines placed strategically  to obscure her path some days no sleep too much gunfire  to close the eyes oh, how this life can suck every ounce of energy  out of you and leave you feeling dead she left the past behind her  and kept moving forward  maybe one day she'd find peace and rest and a hole to bury all her memories  that haunted her  

  "What is your secret to remaining calm?" she asked. "I am a traveller of life. I am here for only a short while, for I am merely passing through. I came into this life empty-handed and I shall leave empty-handed  and in every moment, I trust that I have what I need  and that what I need is enough. I need not compare my path to others for my purpose is not their purpose  and my lessons are not their lessons; all that is required of me  is to be who I came here to be.  I welcome change,  knowing that all is impermanent  and only that which is truly real will last. In the storms of life,  I find stillness within, knowing that the temporary emotions I feel  are merely visitors. And I do not fear pain, for I know that I will find relief  and that pain is simply a messenger, and so I welcome it with compassion, asking it "What are you here to teach me?" And I embrace each step of my path,  knowing that within it lies the destinatio...

she fills the room with presence empty space disappears when she walks into the room all eyes are now on her her beauty hangs transfixed on the strangers' faces she knows she's beautiful  but how she wishes someone, anyone would see beyond the perfect figure and perfect hair if anyone just peered into her eyes they'd see a girl that wants to be "seen" the room she fills is full of loneliness  but no one sees it they just see what they want to see what is only skin deep

A voice within me whispered, “Your life will start  to make a lot more sense, my dear, once you learn to view it through the lens  of where you are going  rather than where you once were, and of who you are becoming rather than who you have once been. For life is lived only forwards, never backwards and so long as you are committed to a path  of growth, love and learning,  a bright future awaits you  beyond all that you could presently dream.” Words by Tahlia Hunter 

Healing for the most part means grieving. You won’t get through this without grieving, my love.  Disappointment is sacred, you see. You have to grieve out the past, the things you lost, the roads you could have taken. You have to grieve out your stolen childhood, those shattered dreams, a life you thought you were meant to live. You have to grieve out those missed opportunities, words and behaviours you regret, choices made or unmade that led you to where you are, or not.  You have to grieve out the dream that it could have been any different, the lie that you believed in order to keep yourself going, or keep yourself safe, or keep you on the pathless path to where you find yourself now. Let yourself be disappointed then! Turn towards the pain of “things not turning out the way I wanted them to”. This is the death of your ego, and it hurts like hell sometimes. You want to fight it, you want to run, you want to protest, but soften. Soften. Let it hurt today. Weep it out today. ...

I wish I could love the war out of you. So you didn’t dance with fight or flight. I wish I could go back to every moment where you were wronged. And somehow make it right. I wish I could have fought  for you  when you were 9, because you deserved it. Far before you were mine.  I wish I could love the hate out of you.  And replace it with my eyes. So you could see how beautiful  you are. to me.  I wish I could calm the storm  that rages inside of you  when you trip on triggers and take it out on me.  Because I don’t deserve that, but I still love you.  So I will endure it.  Because it is not your fault  that the chemicals in your brain  try to trick you into  sabotaging the good things.  They grow arms to push me out. They grow a mouth to say hurtful things. They grow legs that run away.  But I will walk behind you saying  “Babe, I just wish I could love the war out of you. But instead I’ll fight it with...

His silence was a lie Her resentment grew into a storm Saying nothing was oppression  in her mind Secret fantasies of revenge Played themselves out in her imagination  She believed He had a moral obligation  To speak up Her life was poisoned By his memory  And the wish to destroy him Nursed her fantasies  As she pushed back against oppression  Against a tyrant That never had the balls  To speak up And tell her his truth

she painted over the rips on her soul and covered up the lies under her lips battle scars that were visible  disappeared  under pink on her cheeks appearances she easily altered you would never know the demons sitting on her chest the bravery spread on her face were letters that formed words of a secret longing that someone  would come along and see through her making visible  the words she longs to speak

As a society, we have been taught that the social norm is to wear masks to hide our identity, play games with others' emotions, and have high expectations of our partners. Nagging or withholding love from our partners to get them to conform is a similar pattern as a parent/child relationship. Both partners play the game of perpetrator, victim, and enabler which restricts the growth and evolution of self in order to conform to the connection.   The fragmented parts of self that have yet to merge will play out these archetypes in order to achieve resolution. Triggers bring up the slivers repressed through manipulation for power.  Ultimately, it’s a form of bullying when one attempts to mold their partner into someone they are not, in order to receive acceptance and love.  An authentic, evolved relationship allows a safe space for partners to find conflict resolution and understanding. When we love our partner as an integral part of ourselves, we stop trying to dominate...

Get out of your head    and into your heart. You are not stuck. You can never go back to the beginning. Everything that has happened to you, has,    in fact,       happened for a reason. And maybe that reason hasn’t fully materialized yet. Maybe the rejection was a gift    that you’re still needing to open and accept. Maybe the damage inflicted upon you    was intended to test your will. What have you learned? What trauma have you experienced in life that you’re still working through? What part of your story is worth sharing,  and why aren’t you shouting it more loudly? Everything that you’ve survived, has,    in fact,       given new meaning to life. And maybe that meaning doesn’t make sense yet. Maybe pain was the purpose all along. Maybe where you are now makes you perfectly positioned to live an even more beautiful and significant life. Do it. Live it. Shout it. Share it. The anchors are gone. There...

“Forget relationships and learn how to relate. Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted – that’s what destroys all love affairs.  The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful. To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things.  The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don’t take it for granted. And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed.  That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the ...

Life will force you to change  In order to survive Pain Is a calling A calling to move To do something  Be something  Stand up Don't bow down Pain Forces you To reach within And find the warrior  Forces you  To make changes Toxic relationships must go Unloving thoughts towards yourself must end You being your own worst enemy  No more Time to take charge of your life Own your feelings And your past No need to cry over regrets There will be plenty of opportunities  To make more But that's the beauty Being able to make them There's freedom in choices Don't take it for granted Not everyone in this God forsaken world Has that freedom But I'm reminding you That you, my friend, do  

I'm at a point in life where I’m content  in the present.  I don’t fantasize over the future.  I’m not hung up on what could’ve been,  what should’ve been, who hurt me,  what I’m owed, what’s fair, unfair, right, wrong, or on any single thing I can’t go back  and do differently.  I’m doing differently now.  I'm moving deliberately with love.  Protecting and padding my peace.  Forgiving quickly. Setting boundaries.  Expressing gratitude freely.  I’m closer to the person I envisioned myself becoming than ever before.  I learned my lessons,  and I grew from places  I still can’t make sense of.  This isn’t where I thought I’d be,  but right here is where I am.  I’m not reliving long nights,  singing sad songs, commiserating over campfires that feel like purgatories.  I’m not pretending to be someone I’ll never be, I’m accepting that the best of me is someone to be proud of and plenty already....

We were told we would see America come and go. In a sense, America dies from the inside out, because they have forgotten the instructions to live on Mother Earth. This is the Hopi creed, it is our creed, that if you are not spiritually connected to the Earth, and you don't understand the spiritual reality of life on Earth, chances are you are not going to make it. Everything is spiritual, everything has one Spirit. We are here on Earth only a few winters, then we go to the spirit world. The spirit world is more real than most of us realize. The spirit world is everything. Most of our body is water. To stay healthy you need to drink pure water. Water is sacred, air is sacred. Our DNA is made from the same DNA as the tree, the tree breathes what we breathe out, we need what the tree expires. So we have a common fate with the tree. We are all of the Earth, and when the Earth and its water and atmosphere are corrupted, then the Earth will create her reaction. The Mother reacts. In the ...

I knew I had to close this chapter, when I realized that me having a good or bad day was determined by your mood. That the peace I was chasing could never come, as long as I stayed in the vicious cycle of trying to soften everything around you, so that when you flew off the handle, all the sharp edges had somewhere to land. I spent so much time bracing myself against your volatile ways, hoping to bring some calm to a chaos that didn’t even belong to me. And the price I paid for that was high.  It was me. It cost me myself. I lost myself from running behind you for so long, trying to shield you from everything I knew would pull the pin from the grenade of you. I’m done. I have to be done if I ever want peace for myself. I have to be done to save myself. Finally done taking cover, no longer trying to fight a battle that’s not mine to win or lose. I didn’t sign up for war, but somehow, in my search for peace, I walked straight onto the battle ground of you and suited up, like a good s...

some of us have lived in a horror show so much hurt in places that are deep and no human can reach  the pain is always there reminding you of how the sting reappears and resurfaces  coming and going with intermittent numbing it stays quiet and awakes when triggered  but there's that secret place in your mind where nothing else exists  and music plays the pain disappears momentarily  and the part of you untouched is always here hiding  in the secret place

  I can see how your tired soul aches, heavy with the weight of a thousand lonely lifetimes.  You yearn for a love that calls to the fabric of your very being, to the truest parts of yourself.  You wonder sometimes whether real love exists as you sift through threads of the past and let go of old expectations, ancient memories and hearts that were never meant to be yours.  You wonder what love could be meant for you when you have walked so many roads that led to tangled ends. You question your worthiness, your heart and the depths of your soul. Sweet one, no matter how dark the day or what shadows of the past that rise, never doubt your deserving of a love that will actively choose your magic each day and dance in your rains each night.  You have a soul deep love that pounds in your chest; never silence the roar of your thunder for anyone. You have walked your path bravely and spent many dark nights sitting with your shadows present to the lessons that they brin...

She walks with wounds that will not heal A heart Broken Torn into two Her lover keeps half The other half Barely beating As she walks forward  Towards the rising moon In hopes that one day Her heart will mend And the night Left undone Will emerge anew

Never force a relationship. Sometimes it's better to move on, than to hold on to a person who doesn't understand who you truly are. Unfortunately there will be times where your absence will teach you what your presence cannot. You need to stop breaking your own heart in trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work to begin with.  You can't force someone to genuinely care about you.  You can't force someone to be faithful to you. You can't force someone to be the person you need them to be. The truth is, sometimes the person you want the most is the same person you would be best without. You have got to understand some things are meant to come into your life, just not meant to stay. Everything that you do to show love, you have to be careful, not to lose yourself by trying to fix what should never been there in the first place. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who's not ready to reciprocate the love you give to t...

On my hardest days Instead of ignoring my pain I find my strength  In the most uncommon way I sit with the discomfort of pain Sometimes for hours in my bed Sometimes listening to an old Art Bell show Sometimes reading or listening to music It's not just one single thing that works To snap me out of it But just allowing myself to nurture my needs  More often than not I'm emotionally overloaded  Not because I'm fragile But because I'm an empath Aware of the collective consciousness  Aware of the connections of all things My soul reminds me How intertwined I am To everyone and everything  My pain reminds me Of just how much I am alive 

One might think It's devastating to lose everything  But there is freedom In losing everything you own There's a fearlessness  That surfaces  And takes control The world Is less scary  The bullys In your life Mean nothing to you It's like there's a new awareness  Of how impermanent  Life really is And your new attitude is Fuck it Because nothing is of real value That can be taken away Nothing Except the love you have And the integrity  That measures the quality  Of the life You leave behind  

Grief is one of the biggest mountains you’ll ever have to climb. Not least, because it’s one that you absolutely won’t want to. And people may talk of ‘getting over it’. But the truth is, I don’t think we ever do. And that’s not to say that we don’t end up on the other side of the mountain. I’m not saying that we’re stuck in one place forever.  But, rather than getting over it… Perhaps we find a cave we can walk through which brings us out on the other side. It may be dark and dim and difficult, but we make it through into the light. Perhaps we find a path around the mountain that leads to the other side. It may take a long time and it might be unsteady and precarious, but we make it round. Or perhaps we just slowly edge our way past. A little up, a little through, a little round. Step by step. No, I don’t think we get over it. It is too big, too overwhelming. Too insurmountable. So instead we get through it. Round it. Or quite possibly,  we just get by. ~ Becky Hemsley 2022

Loneliness is the doorway to unspecified desire. In the bodily pain of aloneness is the first step to understanding how far we are from a real friendship, from a proper work or a long sought love.  Loneliness can be a prison, a place from which we look out at a world we cannot inhabit; loneliness can be a bodily ache and a penance, but loneliness fully inhabited also becomes the voice that asks and calls for that great, unknown someone or something else we want to call our own.  Loneliness is the very state that births the courage to continue calling, and when fully lived can undergo its own beautiful reversal, becoming in its consummation, the far horizon that answers back. In the grand scale of things, loneliness is a privilege. Human beings may have the ability to feel aloneness as no other creature can; with a power magnified by intelligence and imagination. Animals may feel alone in an instinctual way, moving naturally and affectionately toward others of their kind, but h...

Beautiful girl, when you are finished falling, after you hit rock bottom and watch yourself come apart into a million pieces, no one is staying to help you collect yourself, no one is sticking around to pick through your pieces to decide which parts of you are worth keeping. That’s for you to decide. So stay down for as long as you need to. This is the most important part. Take your time. Pay attention. You already broke. So the easy part is over. Go slow....I know, you thought the breaking was the most painful chapter. It wasn’t. Turn the page. The next part is much longer. It’s the healing. The rise. The comeback. It’s the birth of the new you. And it’s not easy. But you are strong and brave and worth it. You’ll have to leave a lot of yourself behind, you’ll have to let go of all the parts of you that you’ve outgrown. We’re not making ourselves small anymore. We’re not bending to fit where we don’t belong anymore. Do you hear me? We’re going all in. Count your wounds, every scar ripp...

I probably don't give myself enough credit for overcoming the things I have. It has become so engrained in me to push through life. As a single mom, there are always things that need done and preparation for the next day.. I do my best to relax and unwind.. Turn off the constant go, go, go mode. It's not easy though. I constantly worry. I constantly feel I am not doing enough.. That there's always more to do. But I do stop and take notice how I love myself more and admire the woman I have become. There are growing pains in life that can not be avoided. There are things that happen to us outside of our control. But I choose to believe I can overcome whatever life throws at me and not to see myself as a victim. Life is hard with no easy fixes. All I can do is do my best everyday and push on through the tough ones. 

Love your wounds - they reveal what matters most to you, what your deepest soul longing is and what you came to heal in the collective. That is why we chose to incarnate into the families and situations we did, so that we could experience that affliction, and take it on as our own and then rise above it for All... Love your so-called flaws, they are spiritual jewels that mark our journey and reveal where we let go of the physical to embrace the spiritual fully. It connects us to the deeper soul journey ~ wisdom, maturity, depth and transcendence. We are programmed to see them as flaws, when they are an initiation into the deeper mysteries. Love your dysfunctions and the things that cause you to lose friends, successes or throw you into life lessons. They help us to find humor, liberation and our inner child and releases us from caring so much about what others think and allows us to find a deeper love of self and rise above the judgements of others. Love your pain, It teaches forgivene...

Most people that experience the twin flame phenomena have never heard about it before it storms into their life.  Those wishing for it may want to be careful what they wish for.   It’s like discovering magic and then losing the wand.   It is your soul ripping you open, laying out every piece of you that you had hoped to never see again, and saying clean up this mess.  When you have, it rips you open again and says not good enough, do it again.   It’s love, confusion, heartbreak, and soul aching beauty to the sound of a thousand tears.   There’s a silent unimaginable connection that will convince you that you’re crazy, synchronicities that appear in such real yet unexplainable ways that you know you’re not crazy.   Unavoidable perfectly imperfect magnetic energy that will defy any logical reason you may have for not wanting to be with them. Its lust on crack, and hold the orgasm because their presence is a continual spiritual orgasm aka newly awakened k...

There was no doubt She loved him Her heart torn Between loving a man That was present for her And a man She met years ago That reminded her Of soul love He was still on her mind The heart has a hard time  Of letting go She did her best  Not to dwell on the past So she could Build a future With a man That wanted to love her And give her everything  She ever needed or wanted All she had to do Was accept His offer But the choice Wasn't that simple Her heart whispering  "You'll never be happy with just half a love"

  “ By midlife, we're usually aware enough to understand which of our issues most need attention. We've learned where we're strong, but also where we're weak.  We know what parts of ourselves to be proud of and what parts of ourselves should change.  We know what our issues are. It might not be a time when we're learning new things about ourselves so much as understanding more deeply what we already know. This is not the time to stop working on ourselves; it's the time when we've finally accumulated enough clues to help crack the case and solve the myself why and how we've kept ourselves bound for so long. Its not the time to give up and say, 'this is who I am, its too late to change.' Quite the opposite- its time to take a stand, once and for all, for your own potential.  Don't worry that it took you so long to get to this point. It takes everyone this long.  We know nothing until we know all the ways that we're not who we should be.  On...

There is something that can change your relationship, deeply, simply, powerfully. It can enhance the intimacy and connection you feel. It can open doors to a heightened expression of love. And it can be a way to awareness, in all of life. Attention. One word. Attention. Attention is presence, attention is awareness. Attention is the space where intimacy flourishes and flows. Attention is the space where we feel seen, loved, heard, acknowledged. Attention brings us into our bodies, into our hearts. Attention is the opening to possibility in the moment. Attention is what we give to our lovers, out of the openness of our hearts. Attention is the desire to love, to express love, to show love in so many ways.  Attention is us seeing, with an inner vision, seeing with our soul, love. Over time, attention is an element of intimacy that becomes the substance of a lasting relationship, of fulfilment, of joy, of sharing. It’s where we see and are seen. Hear and heard, feel and are felt. And ...