MADISON MEADOWS: A Spiritual Journey into Mysticism, Dreams, Twin Flames, & Soulful Healing

we slept in separate beds had separate lives and passed each other like roommates little talk no affection no locking eyes that said I love you inside I was dying my heart in so much pain it was apparent we were over I just wasn't ready to admit it

i have to remind myself that i am allowed to live my life it's not that i still feel married no it's the feeling that i am still controlled by a dragon if this were a fairytale i'd slay the dragon

   Divorce in my mind was a dirty word.   I grew up with Christian values and therefore never conceived that I would ever go through one. My marriage vows I took to heart, which meant to death do you part. But when your spouse comes to you and says he wants a divorce, you're faced with a new reality. I couldn't force him to do marriage counseling. I couldn't persuade him to stay when he made up his mind he was leaving.      I wish I could say it was a good divorce, but it wasn't. I was pushed to my limits emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. It would be the greatest spiritual battle of my life. What took place during the last two years was a period of cleansing and clearing. Friends and family that no longer served my soul expansion exited my life. What God was doing was creating space for new people and new opportunities to enter my life.    I started a new job, which has been very fulfilling.   I've made new frie...

he threw the first stone my inner waters disturbed he threw a second, third, fourth and did not stop flood waters carried me away

the fact that you broke my spirit is proof that i gave you my all and you gave nothing in return

she texts me i know it's her she pretends to be him texting me through his phone i've known my ex for nearly twenty years doesn't she realize i know his style of texting? and the extent of his vocabulary? why is this woman harassing me? why is she so fixated on me? i think how pathetic doesn't she have anything more meaningful to do with her time? where's the freakshow emoji when you want it?

just when you think you're one up in this game of life, you have to start all over again and strategize your next move. you don't give up. you just keep trying different methods until you get the results you want. something will have to happen because you are determined and you believe in yourself. one day, you'll crack the code to life; and love, abundance, and sweet rewards will be gifted to you. not because someone gave these things to you, but because you gave them to yourself.

a few exchanges back and forth and we were united in thought the stars dazzle inside of me just imagining the many ways i could be united to him

From Journal Entry 10/17/2014    A woman comes to me in my dream and delivers two messages to me, one of hope and the other a warning. She says, "There are a few on earth now that are the Living Word. Things are happening fast now and we will see it before we die." 12 messages given to St. Padre Pio by Jesus about the end of the world. 1. The world is walking in ruins. Men have abandoned the right path to venture on roads that end in the desert of violence … If they do not drink from the source of humility, charity and love, it will be a catastrophe. 2. Terrible things will come. I can no longer intercede for men. Divine piety is about to end. Man had been created to love life, and ended up destroying life … 3. When the world was entrusted to man, it was a garden. Man has turned it into an atmosphere full of poisons. Nothing now serves to purify the house of man. A deep work is necessary, which can only come from heaven. 4. Prepare to live three days in total ...

From Journal Entry 10/17/2014    A woman comes to me in my dream and delivers two messages to me, one of hope and the other a warning. She says, "There are a few on earth now that are the Living Word. Things are happening fast now and we will see it before we die.    Jesus Christ is the full expression of God's written and spoken word. He is the Living Word that took up a physical body in order to remind us of our true identity in God as divine, eternal beings. Jesus took up a spiritual body when He was crucified and His spirit dwells within every living soul. Every human has the seed to birth the Christ Consciousness within their bodies. We're told in 1 Peter 1:22 You have made your souls pure by obeying the truth through the Holy Spirit. And how exactly do you discern the truth of the Holy Spirit? The answer is found in 1 Corinthians 2:13 And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those...

i watched him slip away from me i watched him drink and chase other women i watched it become more difficult for me to love him i watched him destroy himself our marriage and me i watched myself  fall apart  after he left and i watched myself put all the pieces back together of my shattered life and start over again i watched myself descend into a hell and rise up like a warrior

that woman is as tough as nails if she can survive you she can survive anything

all my thoughts of you are tied up in knots your memory fading from me i fear you will forget me i fear i will never see your smile again i feel the days closing in on me and it becomes harder to breathe if you were here, i'd be okay i could inhale again with ease but for now Beloved i sit here and wait my destiny calling me how i thought you were my destiny now i just second guess myself nothing is what it seems this i've learned the hard way if you were here i'd have all my thoughts lined up in a row neatly placed in front of you i'd show you all the pretty ones first and ask for your help to bury the ugly ones fear can be crippling and doubt pure madness i miss the shine from your eyes that dissolved all my sadness away i will move on even though i don't want to without you but i will because that's what i must do i will always be waiting for you and that will always torture my soul but the Lord hasn't given me more than i c...

The wicked women to the wicked men is wisdom: the ugly is the mate and fitting (consort) for the ugly. Whatever, then, you wish to mate with, go, become absorbed in the loved (object), and assume its shape and quality. If you wish for the light, make yourself ready to receive the light, if you wish to be far (from God), become self-conceited and far. And if you wish (to find) a way out of this ruined prison do not turn your head away from the Beloved, but bow in worship and draw high. Reference~ The Mathnawi

we were both looking for two different types of love: me a heaven, you a hell

a smile can cover up sadness deep-rooted pain even anger but the eyes never lie

don’t worry about your reputation ladies when you have to go to war. the only thing that anyone can say about you is she’s a badass . she stands for truth and will lie to protect it. she stands for peace and will fight on the front lines of a good battle. she stands for justice and will do everything that’s within her power to preserve it. she stands up for all women who have been beaten down by a man’s words or fists. it comes with the painful understanding that as women we at times have to go to war and get bloody. and only then do we truly discover who we are and we can say “fuck my reputation! i just conquered the meanest mountain, stomped on the heads of my enemies, and survived an unimaginable hell!”

i only saw your potential and ignored mine i invested everything in you instead of myself now i’m paying attention to my desires and needs and i think i found a gold mine!

my bed isn’t a playground for half-ass lovers. my bed gives me warmth, comfort, and relief from all the stresses of the world. it’s where i dream, pray and meditate, read and write. it’s where i cry into my pillow and talk to God. when the curtains are drawn, it’s where the moon softens my eyes so i can fall asleep. on restless nights, when i find myself tossing and turning, my mind drifts to the man of my dreams lying next to me in my sanctuary.

dear me, i love the parts of you that no one else does. i love how you no longer want to keep those parts of you, that you thought were unlovable, hidden. you want to bring them to light. you want to transform them, water them, and see something new grow. your ability to nurture yourself proves that your heart is expanding. and i have to tell you that is amazing! after everything you’ve been through the past two years, you choose love over hate, laughter over sadness, hope over despair. i know you will achieve great things because you never give up. you keep moving forward, getting back up when you're knocked down and persevere under the most stressful conditions. there is a superpower in you. there is a wonder in you. you believe in yourself when you feel no one else does. that's because, my dear, you know who you are. you know you're a starseed, a co-creator, an author of your own story, which by the way, you’re writing very well. so, keep on doing what you’re doin...

Beloved, often I dream of you your presence water to my soul your touch life giving that sparks a thousand sensations for you in my dreams I reach for you and I am alive again

darling, be patient with yourself. you've been through a battle. you’re badly bruised, beaten, and parts of you are broken. but you are on the mends- healing takes time. you built a life with him and it was destroyed in a hurricane. the good news is the storm has passed and broken hearts heal. remember, you were born to love, you were born to break, and you were born to love again.

After we find our spiritual path and start walking it, we feel exuberant, lighthearted, relieved to finally be on our way home. But after a mile or two we may become tired or discouraged. We look around us, and it seems that the landscape has not changed; we are still the same unimproved, uninspired person we always were. And we wonder why we are not doing as well as we had expected and why we have not moved closer to our spiritual goal. The great guru, Parmahansa Yogananda, knew that such let-downs would from time to time overcome the students of his teachings, so in addition to his  Lessons  containing the meditation and yoga techniques, he offered many other forms of writing such as poems in which he declared in dramatic ways that no matter how bogged down one may feel, there is no reason to become discouraged. The great guru-poet insisted that the soul is on its way to God, no matter many times the thought occurs to one that life is just slowing down. The gr...

i could not force the tears back my throat contracted i was speechless his words "i want a divorce" hung in the air i felt like a dog being kicked in my side his love for me dry as a bone

in your presence words die away my senses open and my being fills up with your wildness every molecule in me feels intimacy with every molecule of you

there are some individuals that like to create more pain for you they don't deserve you ignore them stay away they are just a distraction from you creating the life you want for yourself

the sweetness of life leaves you when you're abandoned you become more cautious with your heart and more suspicious of any man that says he loves you

every man you ever gave your heart to either has lied to you, cheated on you, or mistreated you. now your alone and you see them for what they really are, a man-child, still running around on the playground chasing after girls to touch their ass and boobs, and then bragging to their friends about it, and then avoiding being sent to the principal’s office for punishment. get over him! A real man doesn’t chase after other women. he also isn’t so damn insecure that talking about feelings makes him belittle or berate you. the man you're looking for only has an interest in your ass and boobs and cares deeply about your concerns. he’s the one worth waiting for.

These are our freedoms, not our restrictions.  You shall know that you have taken the path of God, and you shall know that you have found God, for there will be these signs, these indications, these changes in you. You will know that you found the path to God when you see these signs. For God’s promise is that no one who truly seeks God shall any longer do these things. It would be impossible to continue such behaviors.                                                               1.  You shall love God with all your heart, all your mind all your soul.  And there shall be no other God set before Me. No longer will you worship human love, or success, money, or power, nor any symbol thereof. You will set aside these things as a child sets aside toys. Not because they are unworthy, but because you have outgrown th...

clutching the memory of us in my two hands i struggle to let go the present grips me in pain as my mind forces me to relive the history of you and i my heart accounting it as a treasure 

Oh Beloved, may I never  leave God or heaven  for when my thoughts  are on you, I am in heaven  but if there is a slip  on my part, I am in hell

darling, don't you deserve a love that feels like a heaven than a love that keeps you in a hell?

From Journal Entry: 9/8/18 I am lying in bed trying to fall asleep. I can sense something in the room with me and it is evil. I am under attack and feel this thing on top of me as weight. I repeat the name, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus." I keep saying his name until this thing releases it's hold on me.   It's been twenty years since I have been under spiritual attack like this. I think this time it was a spirit of harassment. During my divorce, the enemy attacked my mind and my body. I believe this was the final test of the enemy and the power to overcome the demon was in the name Jesus.  Here are the nine reasons why someone is under spiritual attack:  1. The enemy is harassing you. You've done nothing wrong. 2. Fear operating in you or your family line. 3. Your family's or yours are involved in the occult. This will draw spirits to you. 4. Extremely hateful people draw these things to their home and family. Their meanness effects the house. 5. Someth...

it took a man   to trample on her heart a man  to tell her to be less  than the woman she is  a man  to beat down all her dreams  for her to see through all the bullshit and remember who she is: your worst nightmare or your greatest dream

the broken woman is the one who possesses a soul of a lion she is capable of defending herself