Recent Popular Posts

Saturday, August 28, 2021

Grief

 


I had my own notion of grief.
I thought it was the sad time
That followed the death of someone you love.
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through.
But rather,
There is absorption.
Adjustment.
Acceptance.
And grief is not something you complete,
But rather, you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish
And move on,
But an element of yourself-
An alteration of your being.
A new way of seeing.
A new definition of self.
~ Gwen Flowers
[Art: Linda Kristiansen: https://www.lindakristiansen.no/]

Monday, August 23, 2021

With or Without You

 


i broke my own heart
by loving you
i thought our love was indestructible
that you'd be there for me
when i needed you
but you weren't
and i had to rethink
my position on you
and reevaluate the value i put on you
it seems like maybe i demand to much
from the people in my life
that at the root of it all
my values and principles are high
i don't intend to lower them
just to keep someone in my life
i don't intend to beg either
go if you want to go
stay if you want to stay
i'm fine with whatever you decide
but will you be fine without me?

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

Blended Family

 


Life can get so messy
The blended family thing
Hinges on all parties agreeing
Schedules aligning
And other inconveniences
That can come out of nowhere
You never plan for this to happen
But here you are
With someone who's already
Been married and divorced twice
Just as broken as you are
Trying to make the best
Of the situation
And you realize
This is life
Your life
Always testing your limits
Now you find yourself
Having to work out your kids' problems
With the ex's new wife
Deciding on schools
And planning family trips
It looks like a mess
From the outside
But it is coming together
Like you had hoped and prayed
And that's really all you can do
In a world where everyone is broken
And the blended family
Is the new norm

Thursday, August 12, 2021

Life as a Twin Flame: Living on a Prayer


 Dream from Morning of 4/29/2021:

My phone is ringing. I answer it. A voice says, “Michelle.” I recognize the voice but in doubt say, “Who is this?” I know it is my twin.

 

Dream from 8/30/2012:

 I am on my second date with my twin. We go to see a concert. It is Bon Jovi. My daughter is with me. As we walk to our seats, Bon Jovi is singing Living on a Prayer.

 

Your memory follows me everywhere.

Just as I am starting my day with my client on April 29, I pull into her driveway and I see an Asplundn truck parked in front of her house.

Five minutes later, my client wants me to run up to Starbucks to get her coffee.

As I am walking to my Tahoe, one of the guys approaches me and informs me they are trimming the trees.

I smile at him and say, “Just don’t block the drive. I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”

I jump in my Tahoe to leave and on the radio is playing, Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi.

Now I’m thinking, what the fuck!?

Your thoughts invade me.

The synchronicities over the years have slowed down, but have never entirely stopped.

Very often I see the twin flame numbers 1111.

So much so, I finally gave into the Universe and got the numbers tattooed on me.

If it’s not a street named after you or a Bon Jovi song, I swear your thoughts are trying to reach me and do!

What the fuck?!

Why don’t you just come out and say what you want to say?

Why keep speaking in this secret language?

I can’t escape you...

So, your memory I take everywhere.

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Unbreakable Spirit

she rises
even when she's not ok
she rises from the fall
and never looks back
she rises with the sun
and the moon underneath her feet
to a heighth
greater than the previous setback
each one
reminding her
of her warrior spirit
that looks at pain
as an advantage
an opportunity
to learn something new about herself
so she can break barriers
emotional and mental
pain doesn't define her
her unbreakable spirit is what does

 

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

The Language of the Ocean

 


sitting here
looking out from the beach
listening to the waves
reminds me of how the ocean
inside of me moves
and speaks to me
a language of soul
sometimes turbulent
anger, frustration, unrest
sometimes calm
peaceful, openness, clarity
moments speak to me
as i open up to what nature
is trying to say
and i dive deeper
into unraveling the mysteries
of my being
and the secret language of the ocean