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Wednesday, December 30, 2020

The Role of the Light Bearers


some of us
were put on this earth
to love the unloved
our agenda
is to illuminate
the darkness
and be the hand
that never lets go

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Society Is Our Extended Mind and Body

 “We seldom realize, for example, that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society. We copy emotional reactions from our parents, learning from them that excrement is supposed to have a disgusting smell and that vomiting is supposed to be an unpleasant sensation. The dread of death is also learned from their anxieties about sickness and from their attitudes to funerals and corpses. Our social environment has this power just because we do not exist apart from a society. Society is our extended mind and body. Yet the very society from which the individual is inseparable is using its whole irresistible force to persuade the individual that he is indeed separate! Society as we now know it is therefore playing a game with self-contradictory rules.”

Reference~ Alan W. Watts, The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Each December


you are my december bad habit
because that's when i think about you

more than usual
i imagine you
at my door
and your beautiful face
lighting up
every part of my being
like a christmas tree
the memory of you
around christmas
lingers in the december air
i breathe you in
just as if you were here
doing my damnest to touch
the eternal part of you
each december

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

An Empath's True Intentions

 i know i can be misunderstood and bewilder you. i know that often i can be seen as someone who doesn't care. but that's not true. the truth is i feel too much and it can overwhelm me. as an empath i've learned to monitor my feelings. keeping a safe distance is what i have to do. it's also how i can help you the best. i can send you my light and love without being entangled in your emotional center. so next time you see me and i seem closed off, i'm actually listening to your pain with my body and transmuting it into a healing frequency; sending it back to your heart chakra where you can feel some relief. i'm doing what healers do to help bring a little healing to you.

Saturday, December 12, 2020

The Problem With Extreme Independence


The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.
Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.
From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.
From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart.
From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave.
From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.
From all the lies and all the betrayals.
You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.
Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE.
You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right?
You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you.
Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.
So, you don’t trust anyone.
And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.
To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable.
“Never again,” you vow.
But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall.
Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.
Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming.
It’s a trauma response.
The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.
You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having a true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.
You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.
You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.
You are worthy.
Simply because you exist.
Reference~ Jamila White

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Realizing Self-Worth


it's fucking stupid
how i measured my self-worth
on whether or not you loved me
i'm a fucking rare anomaly
magical, mystical
full of light and darkness
destined for glory

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

A Brave Masculine to Match Your Bravery


darling all you want is someone
that will go to war with you
someone who's not afraid
to get a little bloody
you've been doing it alone
your whole life
now you're tired
so many burdens you carry
so many nights spent
wishing on the moon
to bring you someone
capable of holding your pain
while you continue battling
your demons
and cleaning up spilled blood
darling all you want
is a man that is as brave as you