there is a stinging grief
that bubbles to the surface
every now and then
a combination of rage and sorrow
the howling voice
within me
screams out in pain
as the tears come
i thank god
i can cry
once where numbness
filled the silence
now a nakedness
of raw grief
a real sense
of my pain
being transformed
She had experienced ordinary love from men in her past, and she realized a truth about herself from all those failed love stories:
She needed more than average or normal love.
She yearned for a deeper, more passionate love that would fill her soul and stoke the flames of her heart.
No, lackluster love and ordinary feelings would ever be enough for her.
She needed all of the things that drove her senses into overdrive..and more.
Day trips to anywhere without a map,
Passionate kisses in the rain,
Long talks in the dark about secrets, feelings and all the things that made her feel alive.
She’d tried all the regular types of love and they would never fill her soul.
The things that she dreamt of- that would be her love story special- she was told those were just foolish fairy tales and fantasies..
But she knew better.
She would keep holding out for the love she deserved and she refused to settle for less.
She knew it was out there-
Butterflies in the kiss, passion in the touch, depth in the soul connection..
All the feelings that she longed to experience, with someone that just understood her from the beginning.
They’d call her hard to please or difficult, but that was just because they were okay with average.
She wasn’t and didn’t care what anyone thought.
She’d rather be burned alive from the passion of white hot love than to slowly wither away in a numb existence..
So that’s what she wanted and that’s what she’d have.
Until destiny came knocking on her door, she’d just keep dreaming, living and thriving with everything she had.
She knew true love was worth waiting a lifetime for..
She didn’t know if her dream would happen tomorrow or next week, but it would happen..
And when it did, it would be worth all the heartache and tears along the way.
After all, she was the hero of her story..
So she kept writing it the way she wanted.
Strong, beautiful and free..
And worthy of an amazing love.
|ravenwolf
From Journal Entry 5/14/2023
Immigrants were wearing t-shirts that were given to them by our government. The t-shirts said, Ballot Banana. Michelle Obama is there. She helped to organize and see to it that the immigrants know the message. It feels like the 'Lefts' agenda to solicit the immigrants encouraging them to come across the US border, but in exchange they want you to support the Democrats party's agenda.
It felt like the Democrats are involved in encouraging the invasion at the border by giving the immigrants "handouts" and making sure they knew where those handouts were coming from. The dream felt more like a marketing tool/sales pitch to get more immigrants into the US. And as for Michelle Obama, in the dream, her objective was to her political goals and the gains she hopes her party will obtain.
Interestingly, when I googled Ballot Banana, Banana Republic came up. Below is what I discovered.
Dictionary.com defines Banana Republic as:
As demand for bananas grew, large companies made deals with governments across Central America to fund infrastructure projects in exchange for land and policies that would allow them to expand production.
The growers often depended on authoritarian rule to protect land concessions and quell labor unrest that might shrink their profits. Sometimes, they would actively subvert democracy to reassert their influence. The Cuyamel Fruit Company, for example, supported a coup in Honduras in 1911 that replaced its president with someone more aligned with U.S. interests.
The tight relationship between banana exporters and repressive and corrupt leaders ultimately undermined development in the region, exacerbated inequality and left Central American countries weak and misgoverned.
US elections are vulnerable to non-citizen voting fraud
Mass immigration has had a significant effect on American electoral politics. Despite the fact that it is a crime for aliens to vote in federal elections, noncitizens and illegal aliens are counted when apportioning congressional districts. This means that areas with large numbers of illegal alien residents gain additional representatives in Congress. This also translates into more electors under the Electoral College for such states, which means that noncitizens also exert an indirect influence on presidential elections. Several past elections – for the presidency and other offices – have been extremely close. Accordingly, ballots cast by noncitizen voters have the potential to improperly alter the outcome of elections. Consider how close the 2000 presidential election was – and how tight recent congressional and gubernatorial elections, have been. Could the outcomes have been affected by noncitizen voting? The answer is probably yes.
The possibility exists that voting by noncitizens could significantly influence the results. Many “immigrants’ rights” groups contend that noncitizen voting constitutes a harmless misunderstanding of the rules and should not cause great concern. Even worse, a small but vociferous and radical minority of open-borders enthusiasts has claimed that noncitizen voting is actually a good thing! However, this approach undermines the rule of law. It also enables individuals whose interests may not coincide with those of the American people to exert influence on our domestic politics. Given the rate at which both the legal and illegal alien populations have been allowed to grow, the United States should be concerned with ensuring that the electoral power of U.S. citizens is not undermined and with protecting the United States from foreign influence through “diaspora diplomacy.”
Its worth mentioning here that non-citizens can vote in certain local elections like New York, San Francisco, and Chicago. And so we are left with many questions. Has America been bought by countries like China and Russia who have now a great influence on the direction the US is going? And if so, What's at stake? Our freedoms? The constitution? And what will it be replaced with? Socialism?
~ Noncitizens, Voting Violations and U.S. Elections (fairus.org) What's a banana republic? A political scientist explains (theconversation.com)
You will be confused, at first it will seem selfless or not very intense. You would think there's something off about him, or that you're not the center of his attention.
When a sane man comes to you, he's not going to put you in a state of delirium and demand, he won't demand attention and he won't harass and control you.
When you attract a healthy man, they will have some things in common, but he's not going to make the effort to love you and be nice all the time, he's going to show for himself.
When a healthy man comes to you, he shares his peace and calm with you, he includes you in his life without training you and he respects your time.
He will show you who he is instantly, the masks won’t come off after a few months that will confuse you.
He will not waste space, he will listen to your silences and know your cycles.
When you attract a healthy man, only then will you know you’ve broken the repetitive pattern of attracting toxicity and violence, and you’ll know you’ve healed what was broken inside you.
Wish you all the things you deserve.
~ Author Unknown
When a woman has herself
you can enter or leave her life
you can flatter or judge her
and she, she will receive or say goodbye to you kindly
and she will thank you and understand your shadows
because she already knows hers.
You probably won't tolerate it and at the same time
you want to own it and you will end up walking away
from her if you don't have the courage to respect her.
When a woman has herself
the Universe Dances at her feet, and She rises.
She becomes compassionate.
She chooses.
She is aware.
She gives and receives Love.
It is easy to recognize it.
The Woman Who Has Herself
she smiles in the sun as in the storm.
She celebrates life and understands death.
She lives and dances the processes.
She doesn't have a hue, she's a rainbow.
~ Mike Harrigan.
there's an emotional violence
that takes place
with every thought of you
that's out of my control
something in me dying
and something new emerging
it feels like an assault
on my heart
everything in me
being reordered
the truth
i've never been closer to
as your love devours me
and nothing of the 'old self' remains
