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Sunday, December 30, 2018

Living Separate Lives

we slept in separate beds
had separate lives
and passed each other
like roommates
little talk
no affection
no locking eyes
that said I love you
inside I was dying
my heart in so much pain
it was apparent
we were over
I just wasn't ready
to admit it

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Life Is Not A Fairytale

i have to remind myself
that i am allowed to
live my life
it's not that i still
feel married
it's the feeling that
i am still controlled
by a dragon
if this were a fairytale
i'd slay the dragon

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

My Story: The Divorce

   Divorce in my mind was a dirty word.  I grew up with Christian values and therefore never conceived that I would ever go through one. My marriage vows I took to heart, which meant to death do you part. But when your spouse comes to you and says he wants a divorce, you're faced with a new reality. I couldn't force him to do marriage counseling. I couldn't persuade him to stay when he made up his mind he was leaving. 

   I wish I could say it was a good divorce, but it wasn't. I was pushed to my limits emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. It would be the greatest spiritual battle of my life. What took place during the last two years was a period of cleansing and clearing. Friends and family that no longer served my soul expansion exited my life. What God was doing was creating space for new people and new opportunities to enter my life.

   I started a new job, which has been very fulfilling.  I've made new friends that are spiritually conscious and live mindfully. I've grown closer to the few friends and family members that did stand by me. I feel like I am on the right path that is going to take me to my desired destination. For the first time in my life, I feel confident in my abilities to accomplish my dreams. I've learned to just keep moving forward and not dwell on the past. 

   Each day I discover a new version of myself. My struggles are shaping me and have given my life meaning. In my pain, I've discovered new stars, explored low valleys, and climbed mountains that I thought were impossible. The power to wake up every day and decide who am I going to be is a gift. The allowing of the unfolding of me is a challenge I am willing to undertake. This miracle of loving myself unconditionally, a grace from God.

Saturday, December 22, 2018

The Effects of Cruelty

he threw
the first stone
my inner waters
he threw
a second, third, fourth
and did not stop
flood waters
carried me away

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

A Deficit in Love

the fact that
you broke
my spirit
is proof
that i
gave you
my all
and you
gave nothing
in return

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

The Narcissistic Girlfriend

she texts me
i know it's her
she pretends to be him
texting me through his phone
i've known my ex for nearly
twenty years
doesn't she realize i
know his style of texting?
and the extent of his vocabulary?
why is this woman harassing me?
why is she so fixated on me?
i think how pathetic
doesn't she have anything
more meaningful to do with her time?
where's the freakshow emoji
when you want it?

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Never Give Up

just when you think you're one up in this game of life, you have to start all over again and strategize your next move. you don't give up. you just keep trying different methods until you get the results you want. something will have to happen because you are determined and you believe in yourself. one day, you'll crack the code to life; and love, abundance, and sweet rewards will be gifted to you. not because someone gave these things to you, but because you gave them to yourself.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018


a few exchanges
back and forth
and we were united
in thought
the stars
dazzle inside of me
just imagining
the many ways
i could be
united to him

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Dream of The Living Word and Bad Omen, Part 2

From Journal Entry 10/17/2014
   A woman comes to me in my dream and delivers two messages to me, one of hope and the other a warning. She says, "There are a few on earth now that are the Living Word. Things are happening fast now and we will see it before we die."
12 messages given to St. Padre Pio by Jesus about the end of the world.

1. The world is walking in ruins. Men have abandoned the right path to venture on roads that end in the desert of violence … If they do not drink from the source of humility, charity and love, it will be a catastrophe.
2. Terrible things will come. I can no longer intercede for men. Divine piety is about to end. Man had been created to love life, and ended up destroying life …
3. When the world was entrusted to man, it was a garden. Man has turned it into an atmosphere full of poisons. Nothing now serves to purify the house of man. A deep work is necessary, which can only come from heaven.
4. Prepare to live three days in total darkness. These three days are very close … And in these days they will remain as dead without eating or drinking. Then the light will return. But many will be the men who will not see it anymore.
5. Many people will escape scared. It will run without a goal. They will say that there is salvation to the east and people will run to the east, but it will fall on a cliff. They will say that to the west there is salvation and people will run to the west, but they will fall into a furnace.
6. The earth will tremble and the panic will be great … The Earth is sick. The earthquake will be like a snake: they will feel it crawling everywhere. And many stones will fall. And many men will perish.
7. You are like ants, because the time will come when men will take their eyes off for a crumb of bread. Businesses will be looted, warehouses will be taken in assault and destroyed. Poor will be one who in those dark days will be without a candle, without a jug of water and without the necessary for three months.
8. A land will disappear … a great land. A country will be erased forever from geographical maps … And with it history, wealth and men will be dragged into the mud.
9. The love of man for man has become an empty word. How can you expect Jesus to love you, if you do not even love those who eat at your own table? … Of the wrath of God men of science will not be forgiven, but men of heart.
10. I’m desperate … I do not know what to do for humanity to repent. If you continue on this path, the tremendous wrath of God will be unleashed like a tremendous thunderbolt.
11. A meteorite will fall on the earth and everything will shine. It will be a disaster, much worse than a war. Many things will be canceled. And this will be one of the signs …
12. Men will live a tragic experience. Many will be overwhelmed by the river, many will be burned by fire, many will be buried by poisons … But I will stay close to the pure of heart.

My Final Thoughts

Ask yourself, Are things speeding up? Are there more humans acting like angels or demons? Are we striving for heaven or hell? And what about you? Do you live a life centered on God or self? Are you helping in raising the vibration on the planet or aiding in our descent into hell?