Tuesday, April 13, 2021
Saturday, April 10, 2021
And he is waiting.
He watches her;
But remains silent.
Out for her,
The universe whispers.
How she feels,
He feels it too.
The universe whispers.
Into the man
And he waits,
In the silence;
In the background;
She needs time
He longs to see her
She hears them.
Standing still, and
Feel each other
The universe whispers,
"Be patient and trust what you feel."
He is there
He is waiting.
He is the
Love she seeks.
He has mirrored her journey;
Felt the pain.
The universe whispers,
So he waits;
He stays silent,
This is the love
She lived her
She has waited a Thousand
Tuesday, April 6, 2021
I don’t trust happiness. When I'm happy I start wondering how long before everything falls apart. How long before I'm curled up in the corner crying my heart out because someone broke it again. I trust myself to make good decisions. I trust my intuition to guide me. The problem is so often when I open up to someone, later, down the road, I start wondering if I'll get burned because that's what my past has taught me.
A woman should feel safe in her man's arms. Always. But she should also heal her wounds and change outdated belief systems in order to be in a healthy relationship with herself and her partner. Otherwise, she'll repeat old karmic cycles.
I'm doing my best to nurture my needs and meet new standards I've set for myself. It isn't easy. There is always that voice of doubt whispering, don’t trust anyone ever again. I've realized you have to put yourself out there, make yourself vulnerable if you're ever going to experience real love.
As women we wear our scars and feel they are just the sad story of our failures in past relationships. When in fact they're beautiful. They have made you a stronger woman with more passion and a greater perspective about life. I wear my scars proud. If you love yourself, love all the broken, neglected parts too. The right man will see the beauty in your scars. The right man will know how to hold space for your pain. The right man will love your brokenness. Whether or not if you found him, keep healing and moving forward. Keep doing you!
Thursday, April 1, 2021
1. “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
Sunday, March 28, 2021
Thursday, March 25, 2021
Saturday, March 20, 2021
I did my best to push you away.
I didn't want to let you in but you were persistent.
There are so many unloved, neglected parts of myself that even I have a hard time accepting.
I built walls to protect myself.
I accepted a long time ago that I may never be loved the way I needed to be loved by a man unless he could see past my walls.
You found me at my lowest low and loved me anyway.. despite my hopelessness and brokenness.
Your soul came to my aide every time I needed you.
But when I finally felt we were at a place where we could finally level up with each other, you let me fall.
It created doubt.
It was a setback for me in a huge way.
My faith was shaken.
I want to believe that if you lied, it was to protect me.
Regardless, the damage was done.
And the man I needed you to be, my defender, did not come to my rescue.
I've never been a believer in fairytales until I met you and then I wanted to believe.
My spirit that day was crushed.
I never felt so alone in my life.
You are not to blame for the problems I had to face.
I only blame myself for allowing myself to be carried away by any expectations I placed on you.
I realize I misplaced my strength and needed to find it within me.
I have forged a new path for myself and am better because life demanded that I do so and do it alone.
It's always been in those darkest hours when I'm in great despair, crying out to an empty void, that God shows up because He hears me when it feels no one else does.
I am a woman that's been beaten down many times, and every time I find the strength to rise again.
I have learned a valuable lesson.
I have learned that I can depend on myself always.
I want to say to you, don't feel bad.
Don't feel bad for not being the hero I thought I needed you to be.. that's on me.
This is not a fairytale.
A twin flame journey is what I have labeled it.
And it has been full of what feels like heavens and hells.
But I would change nothing.
I don't doubt that you have loved me to the best of your ability.
The thing is it's not enough for me anymore.
I honestly don't know how I feel about you anymore.
I do know I'm not scared to know what you might or might not say to me.
Leaving things, as they are between us, feels unfinished.
It doesn't feel right.
This journey with you has healed many wounds.
That's what I want you to know.
I hope I've had the same effect on you.
I've realized a lot of things needed to change within myself and within my life (the inner and outer needed to align).
If you look at it from that perspective then you were part of forcing that change.
So, thank you. My soul needed that.
Journey well and be loved. XXOO