The Astral Traveler

 

Often times she feels trapped in this world.

She is always thinking about her great escape.

Yes, death invades her thoughts a lot and she welcomes the intrusion.

The world, in her eyes, is a prison.

She feels strongly this way about it because she is a magician of sorts, in her own mind.

Nighttime is an invitation to explore other worlds.

She mastered the art of leaving her body at a young age.

It is natural for her.

It's in the twilight hours when she is completely free.

Coming back into her body is always a disappointment.

The heaviness sets in first and then the reality of being stuck back in an aging body hits hard.

It's a sadness you wouldn't understand unless you're an astral traveler.

There are no limits, no obligations, no rules to follow.

Just an intention set by you to go wherever your heart desires.

Literally!

So if you think she's the crazy one, think again.

She knows the secret.

She knows the way out.

She longs for the nights because the moon welcomes her and calls her by name.

The Ache of Separation

 

And he is waiting.

He watches her;

He feels

The

Pull,

But remains silent.

She senses

His soul

Crying

Out for her,

But

Remains

Silent.

"Not now"

The universe whispers.

He understands

How she feels,

He feels it too.

"Not now"

The universe whispers.

He is

Growing

Into the man

He believes

She deserves,

And he waits,

In the silence;

In the background;

Watching her,

Waiting.

He knows

She needs time

To heal;

He longs to see her

Blossom again.

He whispers

Silent

Words

Of encouragement;

She hears them.

They both

Wait

Without

Standing still, and

Feel each other

Without

Touch.

"Not now"

The universe whispers,

"Be patient and trust what you feel."

He is there

He is waiting.

He is the

Love she seeks.

He has mirrored her journey;

Felt the pain.

"Not now"

The universe whispers,

But

Soon,

So he waits;

He feels;

He stays silent,

But strong.

She waits;

She grows;

She knows

This is the love

She lived her

Lifetimes for.

She has waited a Thousand

Years,

She would

Wait a

Thousand

More.

~ Unknown 

Life- Keep Doing You

 

I don’t trust happiness. When I'm happy I start wondering how long before everything falls apart. How long before I'm curled up in the corner crying my heart out because someone broke it again. I trust myself to make good decisions.  I trust my intuition to guide me. The problem is so often when I open up to someone, later, down the road, I start wondering if I'll get burned because that's what my past has taught me.

A woman should feel safe in her man's arms. Always. But she should also heal her wounds and change outdated belief systems in order to be in a healthy relationship with herself and her partner. Otherwise, she'll repeat old karmic cycles.

I'm doing my best to nurture my needs and meet new standards I've set for myself. It isn't easy. There is always that voice of doubt whispering, don’t trust anyone ever again. I've realized you have to put yourself out there, make yourself vulnerable if you're ever going to experience real love.

As women we wear our scars and feel they are just the sad story of our failures in past relationships. When in fact they're beautiful. They have made you a stronger woman with more passion and a greater perspective about life. I wear my scars proud. If you love yourself, love all the broken, neglected parts too. The right man will see the beauty in your scars. The right man will know how to hold space for your pain. The right man will love your brokenness. Whether or not if you found him, keep healing and moving forward. Keep doing you!

Quotes on Life Learnt

1. “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”

2. “To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.”

3. “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

4. “Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”

5. “A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.”

6. “It all goes away. Eventually, everything goes away.”

7. “This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”

8. “When you’re lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you’ve just wandered off the path, that you’ll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it’s time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don’t even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.”

9. “There’s a crack (or cracks) in everyone…that’s how the light of God gets in.”

10. “You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.”

~Elizabeth Gilbert

Ride The Dragon

 The best advice I can give to young women is this:

Learn to tame your dragon. Master your animalistic energies, so they don't master you.

The Man Who Walks With The Healer

 

When a man chooses a woman who follows her calling, his only chance to maintain the connection is in following her… and above all in creating space for her to follow her own path.

It may happen that he needs to abandon his own neediness, or that he finds a means of healing through their common path – but not in the gentlest manner.

When a man chooses a woman who heals the collective wounds of the women by following her calling, his Yes for her equals a Yes to a bigger purpose far beyond building a house or raising children. Their connection goes beyond fulfilling the classical gender role models.

For this man accepts the job of having the back of this woman, of catching her when she cannot transform the pain of the world anymore. It means for him to welcome a different form of sexuality, since healing on the level of sexuality is one of the most profound issues of the woman who needs to become a healer.

For him this, again, is about welcoming slowness, softness and healing – about holding back or redirecting his own drive… about being present for the whole.

Because when a man chooses a woman who aims for freedom, they can only achieve this together… and by him leaving his narcissistic aspects behind and recognizing the path of the woman as his own path towards freedom.

When a man chooses a woman who is bigger, he cannot dwell in the places of energies of oppression or of playing small. He – if he chooses to take on this mission with her – accepts a task serving the well-being of all men, even though it happens in the background. Within this background he creates space of security, of keeping her safe from an ambush bred by his own old wounds, driving her into submission.

When a man chooses a woman out of his fascination with her radiance and wisdom, it must be obvious to him that he cannot be stuck within his own deficits in a way that makes him want to diminish her radiance… purely out of fear of having to share her with others.

When a man chooses a woman who follows her calling, he cannot fear these words: respect, humility and surrender. He will rather walk the path of divinity – alongside his woman, the healer – with gratitude and an overflowing heart.

For such a woman will choose – if she ever needs to choose – in favor of the well-being of all women …and she will choose walking her path alone instead of leaving it for him. Nevertheless, she is aware of the power that lies in the presence of a man who is beating the drums… for her.

~Moksha Devi Sunshine

Life As A Twin Flame: The Day the Butterflies Died

 

January 2017

I did my best to push you away.

I didn't want to let you in but you were persistent.

There are so many unloved, neglected parts of myself that even I have a hard time accepting.

I built walls to protect myself.

I accepted a long time ago that I may never be loved the way I needed to be loved by a man unless he could see past my walls.

You found me at my lowest low and loved me anyway.. despite my hopelessness and brokenness.

Your soul came to my aide every time I needed you.

But when I finally felt we were at a place where we could finally level up with each other, you let me fall.

It created doubt.

It was a setback for me in a huge way.

My faith was shaken.

I want to believe that if you lied, it was to protect me.

Regardless, the damage was done.

And the man I needed you to be, my defender, did not come to my rescue.

I've never been a believer in fairytales until I met you and then I wanted to believe.

My spirit that day was crushed.

I never felt so alone in my life.

You are not to blame for the problems I had to face.

I only blame myself for allowing myself to be carried away by any expectations I placed on you.

I realize I misplaced my strength and needed to find it within me.

I have forged a new path for myself and am better because life demanded that I do so and do it alone.

It's always been in those darkest hours when I'm in great despair, crying out to an empty void, that God shows up because He hears me when it feels no one else does.

I am a woman that's been beaten down many times, and every time I find the strength to rise again.

I have learned a valuable lesson.

I have learned that I can depend on myself always.

I want to say to you, don't feel bad.

Don't feel bad for not being the hero I thought I needed you to be.. that's on me.

This is not a fairytale.

A twin flame journey is what I have labeled it.

And it has been full of what feels like heavens and hells.

But I would change nothing.

I don't doubt that you have loved me to the best of your ability.

The thing is it's not enough for me anymore.

I honestly don't know how I feel about you anymore.

I do know I'm not scared to know what you might or might not say to me.

Leaving things, as they are between us, feels unfinished.

It doesn't feel right.

This journey with you has healed many wounds.

That's what I want you to know.

I hope I've had the same effect on you.

I've realized a lot of things needed to change within myself and within my life (the inner and outer needed to align).

If you look at it from that perspective then you were part of forcing that change.

So, thank you. My soul needed that.

Journey well and be loved. XXOO