When You Love Someone

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

 ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Periods of Growth Can Be Confusing

“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before.

Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”

— Alice Walker

You Can't Choose to be in Love

 

Love chooses you... It happens, and that's it.  It doesn't matter if it's the right time or not. If he has a character opposite to yours... If he is twice your age, or half. If he lives on the other side of the world... If it's the best, or the worst, thing that could happen to you... It doesn't matter.

Love comes like that.  He doesn't ask your permission. He asks nothing. He chooses you.

Love is not just an attraction or a choice... It is not linked to beauty, intelligence, good qualities... Ohh no.

Love is a connection, a magical vibration, a mystical force, a unique current, a storm of emotions, a huge landslide.

Love is like life... It's everything we didn't choose.

Love is free and indomitable… You no longer master or control anything.  This is also how you recognize it...

It lives in you, haunts you, even when you try to chase it away... It is he who takes control of your heart and your thoughts.

And the best, and the wisest, is to surrender to it…

Because who are we to decide that Life was wrong when it presented it to us ?

~ by unknown

A Rare Star

She had to fight

To be herself 

In a world

That didn't understand her

She was unique

A spiritual warrior

With one foot in this world

And the other in the unseen

She was magic

And saw past the veil

She was an anomaly 

A rare star

Guiding souls

Towards truth

With a utterly profound feeling

Of being alone

Surrounded by other stars

Unaware of their shine

When You Love an Ancient Soul

There is a special kind of person in this world who is often misunderstood. These people tend to be the loners, the free spirits, the innocent lovers. They see the world for all they can – and should be – although the world rarely sees them.

They are the old souls, the dreamers, the people in tune with life, so intuitive of emotions that they frighten us. They frighten us not because of who they are, but because of who we are not, what we lack.

Ancient souls reach depths we cannot understand. They have a connection with God, with the Universe, with Nature, and that's why they are the people who will change the world.

We often feel inferior, as if we have to strive to stay remotely close to their level, to be worthy of their love.

It takes a confident person to love an old soul. But it's worth it. It will change your life.

They are romantic, they are loyal, they help us grow, they are not materialistic, they understand the deep connections in life, they are grateful, they are examples of bravery.

They walk the most painful roads of this life, and yet somehow they find the courage to smile, often selfless. Supporting others.

Loving an old soul and being loved by one is a gift from the Universe! 

~ Luiza Fletcher

Sheer Boredom

she sat unnoticed

in the corner of the room 

men and women

coming and going 

she was posed

unaffected by the uncomfortable silence

that entombed her

she felt invisible 

in a room full of strangers 

aware that their interactions 

were anything but genuine

so many souls mingle 

but few can sit quietly alone

and not be deeply disturbed

to the point

one would quit the room

not her

she'd leave

out of sheer boredom 

Extreme Independence is a Trust Issue

The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.

Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.

From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.

From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart.

From the friendships and family who always took more than they ever gave.

From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.

From all the lies and all the betrayals.

You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.

Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE.

You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will always drop the ball eventually right?

You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you. 

Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.

So, you don’t trust anyone. And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.

To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable.

“Never again,” you vow.

But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall. Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. It’s a trauma response.

The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.

You are worthy of having support.

You are worthy of having true partnership.

You are worthy of love.

You are worthy of having your heart held.

You are worthy to be adored.

You are worthy to be cherished.

You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.

You are worthy to receive.

You are worthy.

You don’t have to earn it.

You don’t have to prove it.

You don’t have to bargain for it.

You don’t have to beg for it.

You are worthy.

WORTHY.

Simply because you exist.

~ Jamila White - Psychic, Life Coach, Author

The Lies of Self-pity

Self-pity is nothing less than an impulse to self-destruction. And this is its script: “This is the way you were made. These are the facts of your situation. It’s bad. In fact, it’s so bad, it’s impossible to do anything about it. And therefore, you are free from any responsibility to clean it up. Nobody can blame you for anything.” Self-pity is a liar and a thief.

A liar, because everyone is granted the power to clean up their own mess. A thief, because as long as it sits inside you, it is stealing away the days of your life.

~Rabbi Tzvi Freemam

Always a Heart Space Away

When one encounters their twinflame 

It feels like heaven has opened it's doors

And God himself

Is present

It is that powerful 

And that life changing

The event

Is a reunion

With the other half of your soul

Divinity sparks a flame in you

When your eyes meet

Blessed is the couple

That are reunited

After traveling down a road

Searching for their other half

Hundreds or thousands of years

But always a heart space away 

You Start Dying Slowly if You Do Not Take Risks

You start dying slowly ;

if you do not travel,

if you do not read,

If you do not listen to the sounds of life,

If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly :

When you kill your self-esteem,

When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly ;

If you become a slave of your habits,

Walking everyday on the same paths…

If you do not change your routine,

If you do not wear different colours

Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly :

If you avoid to feel passion

And their turbulent emotions;

Those which make your eyes glisten

And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly :

If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain

If you do not go after a dream

If you do not allow yourself

At least once in your lifetime

To run away from sensible advice

Don't let yourself die slowly

Do not forget to be happy!

~ Pablo Neruda♡

Suffering is a Bridge in Love

Love, that ethereal alchemy of the heart, is a melody played on the strings of vulnerability. It is the soft whisper of dawn, the gentle caress that stirs the dormant leaves of the soul; a garden of emotions, where love blossoms like wildflowers, vibrant and untamed, each petal holds the fragrance of shared laughter, stolen glances, and the warmth of intertwined fingers beneath the canvas of a star-lit sky.

Yet, with every note, there exists a counterpart, a shadow that waltzes in tandem, and within this garden, thorns emerge, unseen and unforgiving.

The dance of suffering – those very hands that cradle you in love may inadvertently graze these thorns, leaving behind the traces of a pain that lingers, a suffering born from the tender vulnerability of the heart. It is the ache that follows the crescendo of joy.

Love and suffering entwine, their hues bleeding into one another like water colours on a canvas kissed by the midnight rain. And so to love is to suffer. There can be no greater intimacy known, no greater inspiration to the act of creation than to love and love again, no greater intimacy than to hold another, or be held, when love suffers. And we all suffer. We all hurt. It is unavoidable, if you love.

What is seldom remembered is that suffering is the ground from which intimacy sprouts. True intimacy arises not just from a profound connection with someone, but when vulnerability is shared and the truth of someone’s being is unveiled. In times of pain and distress, unconditional love emerges as a sanctuary where both individuals feel seen, heard, and understood on a level that surpasses words. What are scars become sacred runes inscribed with the ink of tears, marking a passage through the labyrinth of suffering.

It is in the witnessing, acceptance and holding of each other's wounds that a divine alchemy occurs, transmuting the leaden weight of anguish into the golden light of spiritual understanding. As suffering weaves its intricate patterns, a sacred language is spoken—a silent dialogue of the heart that only those who have danced in the flames of adversity can comprehend.

So fear not pain when you enter the halls of love. Suffering is a bridge, a conduit through which empathy flows like a sacred river. In the intimacy of suffering, there is a communion with the divine, an acknowledgment that amidst the chaos, there exists a deeper order, a cosmic choreography where every tear is a note, and every sigh is a melody.~

~Andrew Smith

Nothing Else in My View

a perfect light

hits your face

and my insides glow

the way the sun plays

with your features 

makes your nature visible 

but only to me

my eyes

were made

to penetrate

through you

there is nothing else

in my view

as i watch the sunlight 

dance in rhythm 

with my heart's longings 

Be There For Yourself

My love,

You cannot truly “be there” for another 

until you learn to “be there” for yourself.

Be there for your breath as it rises and falls. 

As it slows, quickens, deepens. 

As the belly expands and contracts. 

Be there. Be a loving witness 

to this extraordinary power that moves through you. 

Be there for all your feelings, not just the pleasant ones. 

Be there for the grief and the anger, too.  

The ease and the frustration. 

Be there for the sorrow, the emptiness and the fullness, 

the wildness and the calm, the life and the dying. 

Be there for all your thoughts. 

The ones you love and the ones you hate. 

The ones that scare you and the ones you seek.

Be there as they arise and dissolve.

Stay there as they stay and go. 

Be there for the broken heart 

and be there for the healed one too. 

Be there for the answers, 

but don’t abandon the questions either.

Be there for the clarity, 

but don’t neglect the confusion.

Be there for all of yourself, my love.

Like a mother, there for her children. 

And you will be able 

to be there for all of me. 

Look after me by looking after you. 

Find me by finding you. 

Let me in by staying near. 

This is the paradox 

of loving. 

- Jeff Foster

The Timeless Part of Me

The timeless part of me

Speaks in symbols

In dreams

An ancient language of soul

Wise and fluid in images

My mind can't dictate fast enough

I'm connected to something

Beyond space or time

Call it what you want

The higher self

Guardian angel

Inner being

My eternal soul

What ever she is

Is guiding me

In the most subtle way

My openness 

To this connection 

Is everything 

Otherwise 

There is only missed opportunities 

To learn more about the mysteries of life

And the spiritual world veiled behind my eyes 

10 Things Time Teaches

 

1. Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day you realise that is the day you really start to live.

2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.

3. Fighting the ageing process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been. Don’t waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.

4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.

5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.

6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.

7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine.

8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.

9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.

10. Always, always, drink the good champagne and use the things you keep for ‘best’. 

~Donna Ashworth

There is No Hiding in a Conscious Relationship

There is no such thing as a totally conscious relationship because the very nature of relationship is to draw forth the unconscious and realistically one cannot draw forth the unconscious without acting it out at some point…

This is all part of the healing, it is not a failure, it is the very fire from which the phoenix rises…

So what determines a conscious relationship?

Simply put, it is a relationship in which the conscious always gets the better of the unconscious, it is an arena for constant shedding and surrender and this can only happen because of the committed intention of both partners that is supported by their respect and love for each other…

You cannot have a conscious relationship with someone who is not ready to release their false self image, the desire for liberation has to be greater than ego’s fear of annihilation and just as importantly, the desire for the other's freedom has to be greater than the need for possession and ownership...

There is no arrival in a conscious relationship, no fairytale forever after... It is a journey of evolution of two souls upholding the highest in each other and that contract has its own timing.

This is not a relationship for the faint hearted, it takes a warrior spirit because there is no room for hiding, no face to mask, no receptacle for projection, no one to blame, no one to make you whole... At the end of the day there is only a mirror of you facing you and in that facing, if there is compassion for self, the divine marriage takes place within.

~Caroline de Lisser

When God Created Woman

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day.

An angel came by and asked, “Why spend so much time on her?"

The Lord answered, “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?

She must function in all kinds of situations.

She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time.

Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart.

She must do all this with only two hands.

She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day.”

The angel was impressed, "Just two hands...impossible!

And this is the standard model?"

The angel came closer and touched the woman.

“But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft", said the Lord,

"But I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome."

"Can she think?" The angel asked.

The Lord answered, "Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate."

The angel touched her cheeks.

"Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her."

"She is not leaking...it is a tear" the Lord corrected the angel.

"What's it for?" Asked the angel.

The Lord said, “Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering, and her pride."

This made a big impression on the angel,

"Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvelous!"

Lord said, “Indeed she is.

She has strength that amazes a man.

She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.

She holds happiness, love, and opinions.

She smiles when she feels like screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying.

Cries when happy and laughs when afraid.

She fights for what she believes in.

Her love is unconditional.

Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life."

The angel asked: "So she is a perfect being?"

The Lord replied, "No. She has just one drawback...she often forgets what she is worth.”

-Donna Ashworth

Buried in Regret

there was a lie

buried in his chest

he loved her

all these years apart

and the sting

of that love 

still haunts his days

and keeps him awake at night

he knows he has to tell her his truth

or be buried

in regret

the rest of his life

 

A Relationship That is Alive

The healthiest relationships are the honest ones, the ones grounded in Presence, not fantasy or false hope, and a deep commitment to a living truth. Where two souls can share their authentic, real-time, embodied selves with each other, reveal their deepest truths – raw, messy, unresolved, unfinished and rough at the edges - and continually let go of their preconceived, conditioned ideas about how they ‘should’ be. The relationship is continually renewed in the crucible of intimacy. There may be ruptures, misunderstandings, intense feelings of doubt, anger, fear, anxiety and groundlessness along the way, yes, of course, but there is a mutual willingness to face this mess as it arises. To be vulnerable. To say “I hurt. I am in pain. I feel deep sorrow” and not blame the other for that pain. To say “I need some support” but not demand it of the other. To share desires and hopes and longings and dreams and not command that the other see things in the same way, or meet all of your needs. To receive their ‘no’ and their ‘yes’ too, even if it hurts. To stay in the crucible of transformation; to look with wide open eyes together at the present rupture, not turning away, or clinging to ‘the way it used to be’ or follow other people’s ideas about how things ‘should’ be. To let second-hand concepts of happiness burn up. To sit together sometimes in the rubble of shattered dreams and expectations, plans and hopes, and work towards finding a place of reconnection, repair and reconstruction. This is the courageous and often intense work of relationship.

Even if we have to start by admitting deep feelings of disconnection. This is a relationship that is alive. A relationship that makes space for our deepest longings, fears, pains, yet does not expect the other to resolve these, or take the hurt away. That asks the other to be a witness, a midwife for our own healing. And offers the same in return.

To inspire each other to find our own happiness. Even if that means letting go of or 'breaking up' the relationship in its current form. Love holds the other lightly, it does not cling or attempt to control. It only wants the best for the other, only wants them to step into their power, live their fullest life, find their deepest joy, follow their original path, learn to love their bodies and their own deepest feelings, and find new ways to take care of themselves.

“I love you, and I want you to flourish”.

Relationship can be the ultimate yoga, yes, an ever-deepening adventure and rediscovery of ourselves and each other, rediscovering ourselves in the mirror of each other, a continual letting-go and a meeting, a dance of aloneness and togetherness, not losing ourselves in either extreme but playing somewhere in the middle. Sometimes coming together, sometimes moving apart. Closeness and space. Intimacy with other, intimacy with self. Breathing in, breathing out. Relationship is not a place we reach, a point of arrival, a destination, a 'thing', a dead story; it is alive, and forever a point of departure, a beginning, each day. We can only start together, here, and there is joy in that beginning. There is excitement in the not knowing. There is life in the continual death of expectations. Staying close to a healthy fear of loss. Staying near to the groundlessness of things without losing ourselves in that groundlessness. Finding safety in the uncertainty. Finding a new ground in the power of love itself. Standing where we stand. Breathing in, and breathing out.

As Eckhart Tolle says, relationships aren't here to make us happy - for true and lasting Happiness lies within us all, that unshakable Presence that nobody can ultimately give us, or take away. We are safe either way. Others will not complete us. They will not save us, or resolve our deepest inner experience for us. They will, however, give us the gift of exposing our wounds, our inner children, those lost fragments, bringing them to the surface, the places within us that are crying out for empathy, those beautiful orphans of the light.

And then, a risk! To reveal our raw hearts, our loneliness, our vulnerability, our sensitivity, our not knowing, our joy, our ‘shameful’ secrets, to another human being on this small blue planet in the vastness of space. To drop the mask and expose the unprotected, unguarded heart. To risk being rejected, left alone, shamed and ridiculed. To risk a repetition of the old, perhaps.

But a bigger ‘risk’, maybe: To be loved for who we are! To be held in the blinding light of another’s fascinated attention, like a baby held with such tenderness by an adoring, attentive mother. To be met in the present moment, nowhere to hide, nowhere to run. To let in the New. To risk losing the image, the false self, the carefully constructed persona, and to let another embrace the softness here. This is the highest possibility of relationship. To see another’s exquisitely delicate heart and to let your own soft heart be seen. In the seeing, there can be healing, transformation, great beauty. We can be therapeutic vessels for our brothers and sisters. We can bring each other medicine, encouragement and great companionship on this sometimes lonely path of coming alive before we die.

And maybe it takes a lifetime to discover: The One you always longed for was actually deep inside of you. And to have that One reflected by another – a partner, a friend, a lover, a therapist, or an animal, a tree, a mountain, the moon or the Vastness of the Cosmos – even if it’s only for a moment..

…well, then you know Heaven on Earth.~~

~Jeff Foster

Only the Priceless

Stop thinking she breaks easily. 

Not everything which shatters is fragile or frail. She isn’t delicate. 

She wasn’t torn apart by something minor. 

The most valuable things endure. 

Only the priceless survives. 

Be gentle because she’s hard on herself. 

Treat her carefully because others 

have been so careless. 

Give reassurance freely 

because it costs nothing. 

Fear of abandonment is still real 

even when all you’ve known is doing it alone. Bring your resolve. 

She’s tired of temporary, flimsy. 

And people who flee 

at the first sign of adversity. 

Maybe a reason why her pain runs deep 

is because she doesn’t exist on the surface. Her emotions have roots. 

Her love is wholehearted. 

The most tender people are rarely given the opportunity to be anything other than domineering. 

Be sturdy, steadfast, 

and give her space to be soft. 

Give her room to relax. 

Feel the knots in her chest loosen 

and see someone who never had a choice 

but to be strong. 

~ J. Raymond 

The Witching Hours/The Shocking Truth

   

 

i made room

for your dreaming

in me

i let your ghost

invade me in my slumber

i made room

for your thoughts 

to reach my heart

as i slept

and upon awakening 

always hoping 

that tomorrow 

you'd remember my name

and all your insecurities 

you'd put aside

to call me

so i could hear your voice 

like i do

when i'm dreaming of you

but it's only

in the witching hours

that you invade

my space

and i'm reminded 

again and again 

you are not real

but your ghost

confused

regards me as home

Love and Sex

A relationship will only be as good as the sex.

We can make a list about what brings and keeps two people together. We can talk about compatibility and shared ambitions and goals, but if a certain sexual chemistry isn’t there, nothing in the world can make up for it.

There is a reason why sex is important for couples. With physical connection, we are able to gain greater insight to our subconscious connection.

We all experience intimacy differently, but we all crave relationships that cater to our current mental, spiritual and emotional states. This craving for intimacy binds us together.

Regardless of religious beliefs, there is no ignoring the cultural and historical importance of sex between lovers. It’s used to consummate a marriage, achieve spiritual ascension or even open the third eye through kundalini awakening.

Sex is the vehicle for our love.

So, what happens when the sex just isn’t great?

The first thing we have to do is get real with ourselves; we have be honest about why the sex isn’t measuring up. Are we mentally or emotionally disconnected from our lover? Is there a lack of total trust? Are insecurities, from one or both of us, inhibiting our openness to the experience? Have we submitted to roles within the relationship yet?

All of these questions are necessary for discovering why the sex isn’t measuring up, and what this means for the relationship.

I believe that the best sex and the best relationships are one and the same. Amazing sex—soul dipping, erotic, eye-gazing, toe-curling sex—can’t be had with someone we only lust after. This type of sex can only happen when we have submitted to one another.

But what does this mean?

Submitting to one another is a mutual exchange of energy. It means that we are completely opening ourselves up to the other. It means that we trust the other person with the deepest parts of ourselves that we don’t always reveal to outsiders.

This isn’t about being submissive; it’s about choosing to let down our walls.

It also means a willingness to discuss and accept the roles within a relationship. Each partner has specific strengths, according to the divine feminine or masculine. We can be the yin to the other person’s yang.

When we battle against this balance, and try to do everything on our own or ignore the other’s strength, then we will feel a constant tension between us. A feeling of uneasiness will translate in the bedroom as well. Because if we haven’t fully submitted to one another outside of the bedroom, then there is no way that we will be able to do it between the sheets.

Sex is a barometer for the relationship.

Maybe sex isn’t everything, but it is an awful lot. Intimacy is important because it connects two people, but sex establishes the roots of a partnership. It’s where we openly and willingly submit to our lover; we let them into our space and bodies, which allows our energies to meet and grow together.

It’s the closest we can be to another person.

Sometimes when we have the effortless feeling of just clicking with someone, it’s because we’re feeling a natural mutual submission of our souls coming together. When the sex is amazing, it means that we have already openly submitted to one another. We trust one another and feel comfortable enough to let someone see us in ways no one else will. (Even with the lights on.)

If we constantly feel the need to have sex in the dark, we have to question the depth of the relationship. If we can’t uncover our bodies with our lover, then there isn’t any way we can bare our souls to them.

The way sex speaks about our relationship is an aspect that can’t easily be changed. We try different sexual positions, or try more ways to open up, but many times it just ends up feeling forced.

The reason why some couples have amazing sex is because of chemistry, which is often overlooked. What this word really refers to is the inexplicable magnetic attraction between two souls. It’s not just physical attraction, but something deeper. When we have a high level of chemistry with someone, we also have a deeper connection, which results in a better and healthier relationship outside the bedroom.

Love is all about connection.

It’s about letting someone in and being invited into another’s soul. It’s about choosing to surrender to the connection, attraction and love in general.

A deep, sexually romantic connection comes from the ability to communicate about the twisted and dark aspects of our souls. It’s the knowledge that no matter what we do, or what we look like, our partner will still accept and love us.

When we feel loved and accepted, we also feel desired. Our lovers make us feel like they are insatiable for us.

The truest test of how good a relationship will be is how hot it burns in the bedroom. Because there’s no doubt that if the sex is amazing, the relationship will be as well.

~Kate Rose