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Showing posts with label The Story of Sapphire and Arion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Story of Sapphire and Arion. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Surviving Your Memory




Beloved,


Long ago I forgave you. In all our past lives, I always forgive you and always I have to let you go. I've done this so often, and so often you fight with yourself for loving a woman like me. I know I am the fire that burns forcing you to feel your wounds and to know your soul.

I know you must be suffering like me and the silence is killing us both. Often in my mind's eye I play out the words you would say to me. Sometimes there are no words, just silence and your gaze penetrating the thickness of the veil that hides my heart. Our souls then merging into a field beyond the human eye that only love can conceive, foster, and exploit!

Then my concentration breaks and I am alone again. Tears come to remind me that what I feel for you is real. The karmic bond between us unbreakable, and yet so much left undone.

I don't want to live the rest of my life without you in it. My whole life has been a steady dose of pain and then 21 years ago you gave meaning to that pain. Every word left unsaid still stirs my heart and with it all the imaginings of what we could be.

I am moving forward, but I am doing so against my own will. Now it's just a matter of surviving your memory. Now I'm doing it to prove to myself I don't need you.

You've taught me to depend on no one but myself. You are the master of needing no one and relying only on yourself. So, thank you for the karmic lesson. I needed to learn this.

If our paths ever do cross again, I’m sure I’ll be unrecognizable to you. I don’t doubt that you will have changed too. I hope you still look at me with the eyes of a long-lost lover finally returning home. May God always be with you and me!!

Fondly,

Sapphire




Sunday, August 9, 2020

Sapphire's Poem: Hot and Cold


i still
think about you
how can i not?
you had such a profound
effect on me
and my path in life
you'll never know
how you wounded me
and at this point
i'm sure you're to scared
to ask
because that would
force you to feel
things you don't
want to feel
so you continue to
live in your ego
these days
and i constantly
change from
hot to cold
when i think
about you
funny how you have questions
but i'll never tell
unless of course
you stop hiding
behind your own pride
i'll always be
ten steps ahead of you
deal with it
but it doesn't mean
i'm not looking over
my shoulder
to make sure
you're still there
and yes darling
i am glad
you're still there 

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Sapphire's Poem to Arion: A Love You Thought Impossible

you were everything to me
when we met
i felt a surge of power
through my soul
and then for years
it felt like i was carrying 
the sun and the ocean
inside of me
years have now gone by
since i last saw you 
and now i feel a void
where once you occupied
that space within me
it is frightning
to no longer feel your presence
now i have to put you
in a safe place
in my mind
to know love like yours exists
makes it hard for me
to find another love
because nothing compares 
to you 
not when you've 
known love
beyond the boundaries
of physical connection
and felt a greater power
with no limits
that can only be described as 
a love you thought was impossible 

Monday, June 29, 2020

Sapphire's Letter to Arion: No Goodbye

darling, have i lost you? i no longer feel your presence in me. where did you go? you stuck around long enough for me to reclaim my power and left without a goodbye. it's not like you. funny how now i feel stronger than ever now that i'm on my own. maybe you lent me some of your masculine energy. maybe one day you'll return and i can give it back to you. i miss my softness, my vulnerability i let you see. if i ever am lost in this world again, i hope you'll come find me to bring me back to myself like you have many times before.
the world is rapidly changing and i can't keep up. how i hope it adds to your wellbeing and your life is unfolding to your wishes and command. if not, may it be so!

Sapphire 

Monday, November 11, 2019

Sapphire's Letter to Arion: The Memory of You Coming Back Around


I know you won’t admit it, but you miss me. You’re doing a good job keeping my memory alive. So much so, that your thoughts still reach me. I have moved on, keeping the ghost of you alive was doing me no good. I still think of you when I hear a certain song that reminds me of you. I smile on the inside, knowing how my life has been touched by you. I’m a better woman because of you. And even though I may never make sense of how strongly I feel connected to you, I don’t question it anymore. You’re a mystery to me. I’m a mystery to myself. 


These days, these precious moments that define me, I savor. As I have started my life over, I have an overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be okay. I feel happier than I have been in years like a heavyweight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hope all is well with you. I hope you have found the courage to live your life as you see fit. I know many times we have said we’re done, but beloved we are never done. Your everlasting glance into my soul has made you a permanent resident. I dwell in you; you dwell in me. Your love endures beloved, our love endures.


All of my gracious thoughts,

Sapphire

Thursday, July 4, 2019

Sapphire and Arion: A New Story


Sapphire had the power in her to create change in her life. She recognized this power in Arion too. Arion clung to his outer life, his possessions and wealth, as a means of taking the focus off of his inner struggles that weighed on his mind and heart. He had grown accustomed to having the void inside of him filled with toys, cars, a big house, and nice things. He purposely deflected his feelings so he could avoid feeling pain. 


Her memory haunted him. Arion watched Sapphire’s life from a distance. Sapphire was moving forward on her path and not looking back. She was shifting her perspective and seeing her ties to Arion in a new light. It was no accident their paths had crossed 20 years ago. They each had lessons to learn and karma to undo. Sapphire’s separation from Thaddeus was painful. But the wounds that Arion left on her heart were deeper and more permanent. Arion’s thoughtless actions of not making any attempt to reach out to her, made Sapphire feel unwanted, unloved.


Halfway across the world, the doors of fate had swung wide open on Arion. He was now being dealt his karma, which caused him to examine his actions and reflect on the pain he caused Sapphire. He felt remorse for his immature actions and his unwillingness to confront Sapphire. Deep down, he wanted to change; he wanted to reach out to her. Arion was fearful of moving forward. He had many doubts about the future. In his mind, it was easier to keep her memory alive than it was to see her again.


His awareness was slowly shifting; new opportunities were presenting themselves to him. A new story was emerging as he cautiously embraced a new direction. Would it include her? Would he move past his fear and merge both of their worlds? Arion was moving towards unconditional love, and at the same time, Sapphire was too.


Their time apart made them both realize how deep their connection was, no matter how much time had passed, and the distance between them, they were always connected. Deep healing was taking place in them both that could only be accomplished through separation. They both now had to figure out who they wanted to be. The dots were connecting, and with fate, there was always the possibility of them coming back together.

Monday, May 27, 2019

Sapphire's Letter to Arion: The War Is Over


Beloved,

Do the arrows of my thoughts reach you? I believe they do for I am still dreaming about you. There is an ancient melody between our two hearts- I swear it! Sometimes sad, sometimes sweet, yet inviting and seductive to our souls. I’ve concluded that you and I are double-natured. Our bodies we leave behind and commingle with one another in a far, distant land, not of this world. Yet I have no proof of it.

I am moving on Beloved, it feels like without you. But I can still feel you stirring the stars in me. I am regaining my strength, and my spirit has lifted from my long battle. If it was a test from the gods, surely I have passed and been promoted. I will rest for now and regain my good health. But alas, the war is over!

Your double-natured counterpart Sapphire

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Sapphire's Poem to Arion: I Am Yours Forever

all my thoughts of you are tied up in knots
your memory fading from me
i fear you will forget me
i fear i will never see your smile again
i feel the days closing in on me
and it becomes harder to breathe
if you were here, i'd be okay
i could inhale again with ease
but for now Beloved i sit here and wait
my destiny calling me
how i thought you were my destiny
now i just second guess myself
nothing is what it seems
this i've learned the hard way
if you were here
i'd have all my thoughts
lined up in a row
neatly placed in front of you
i'd show you all the pretty ones first
and ask for your help to bury the ugly ones
fear can be crippling
and doubt pure madness
i miss the shine from your eyes
that dissolved all my sadness away
i will move on
even though i don't want to without you
but i will because that's what i must do
i will always be waiting for you
and that will always torture my soul
but the Lord hasn't given
me more than i can take
i am the wounded lover
and my scars i am not ashamed of
i wouldn't have it any other way Beloved,
i wouldn't have it any other way

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Sapphire's Last Request

Arion,

   I never did tell you what you mean to me. So now, I wish to convey to you, so there is no misunderstanding.

   First of all, I am very fond of your wife, Layla. She is your sensibility when you are not sensible. She deserves your honesty and loyalty. 

   It is my desire for you and her to always make choices in the direction that Spirit leads you. It is my sincere hope that the both of you are dedicated to each other's expansion and well being.

   It is important to pay attention to the contrast in your life, because what you don't like is telling you what you do like. This is also an indication for the desire of expansion. What is your innermost being trying to tell you? Are you living an authentic life? What do your feelings and thoughts say about your desires? Are your desires in alignment with Source Energy (God)?

   You are the Friend of my soul. The one who has always been with me in spirit. The Friend who has taught me the meaning of divine love. It is in your presence I feel the Holy Spirit and the expansion of my being. It is above all things that I value the vow of chastity my soul has made with yours.

   I miss you! I miss my Soul Friend! How I do hope, that one day, you will reach out to me and make our friendship a reality. And as for my last request, I do ask that you and Layla trust Spirit to guide you both.

All Of My Affection,
Sapphire

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Miss Our Friendship

   Oh Arion, since Thaddeus has left I sleep poorly and the visions that do visit me only haunt me.
   How I miss our friendship. The memories of you, Thaddeus, and I playing like children, with no cares, revisit me often. Those memories keep him and you alive within my heart.
   I hate how Thaddeus left; abruptly and with another woman. He broke my heart. I have tried to put the pieces back together but have failed miserably.
   You remind me so much of him. In my own mind, I thought that by loving him I was also loving you. There are so many similarities between the both of you (especially in bad habits), that you both mirror each other.
   And even though I know Thaddeus is gone and never coming back, and the way he left me I should hate him- I do not. I miss him. I miss you. I love him and I love you.
   I miss the days of laughing in the rain, climbing in trees, basking in the sun, and exploring new landscapes with you and him. How I will cherish those memories forever.
   I hope you are taking care of yourself and having gentle thoughts towards yourself. My thoughts for you are only beautiful. As always, I only wish you true happiness.

All of My Affection,
Sapphire

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Let the Assassin In

Beloved,

To ache for you Beloved is the same as aching for God. Yearning for you has become my obsession. I have immortalized you in my poetry Beloved because my grief is unbearable. I also desire to touch, as closely as I can, the bliss I felt in your immortal soul's embrace. Do you think Darling that the ache that burns in me, that my readers will recognize the same ache that burns inside of them?

How long, my Love, have you waited to hear my words on your longing ears? How long have I waited Darling to look again into your eyes and see the ocean?

There comes a time when a person decides to become real. Friends will fall away and even family members become strangers. God has been calling to me, whispering to my heart, "Let the assassin in. Love wants to execute you, transform you from the inside out. You will lose yourself and you will find yourself. The beloved wants to join with your soul now, not after you die."

Everyday Beloved we sin, but tomorrow God could turn our sin into bliss. Does not everything that happens to us, move us closer to God? All is well my Love, all is well.

Your Darling

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: A New Name

Beloved,

I am seeking a new name for you and I. A word that does not keep us split apart like two halves of a disk moon. When the moon appears half full, her other half is half empty. But this is not so to the moon. She is a whole disk and thinking of her as only a half is a lie!

Beloved, I walk in your shadow. I feel you in this body. You speak intimately to my heart. How can this be?! Any description of you and I fails to articulate your presence in me.

What I possess and what I have gained by knowing you exceeds any treasure of the richest king on earth! For Darling, I possess the companion of my soul that will accompany me even after death. What more can a girl ask for?

P.S.  Even if you came to me in your drunken state, I wouldn't want you to leave. I'd ask you to stay.

All of my Affection,
Sapphire

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Fill My Cup

Beloved,

I keep holding on to the many images of you Darling. They help me get through my day. I had a dream you were here with me. You came up from behind me and wrapped your arms around me. I never felt so much solace and peace in my life. I felt safe in your embrace.

Oh how I wish it wasn't a dream! How I wish you were more than just a phantom. But how I do draw strength from your phantom!

You Darling are a mystery to me. If I could solve your mystery, there would be no more mysteries to solve. You are a fountainhead that contains all of God's secrets. If I bring you my cup will you fill it for me?

All of My Affection,
Sapphire

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: I Surrender!

Arion,

   I was sure by now Beloved I would win your heart over by my glowing remarks on my love for you. There are no secrets between us, for you see all. There is no hiding my intentions from you. I can not bury them like a dog does a bone. And even if I did, you would know where to dig them up.
   This marvelous fictional love affair is at times really sad. And at other times very glorious. But I am tired now and my words are splitting pens. I want you to know that I SURRENDER!
   I can not chase after you anymore or run from you. My soul is weary. My heart is broken. My mind is divided.
   Promise me you will believe in yourself and never give up on your dreams. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Always remember that my love is without beginning or end.

Your Darling

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Finish My Story

Beloved,

If I send you my story will you finish it for me? I am weary. My hand can barely hold a pen. My story weighs me down. I am exhausted from all the characters trying to kill me. It is a scene from a battlefield! Tanks, soldiers, artillery, the field soaked in blood. Bodies everywhere! Each one an aspect of me now dead.

I'm afraid that I will be unrecognizable to you. All the goodness and purity you saw in me gone. So please Beloved finish my story. Write me a happy ending and restore me to the image you hold of me. I can't bare to live this woman I have become. Do it with urgency!

Your Darling

Saturday, May 20, 2017

The Story of Sapphire and Arion: Sapphire's Rise

  
   Sapphire went to bed to weep for the man she loved. The sting of rejection hurt worse than the words from Thaddeus' mouth. It set a tidal wave into motion inside of her. Sapphire had prepared herself for the emotional storm that she'd foreseen.
   In her vision, Sapphire stood on the top of a mountain. Below, the sea was rising with great force swiftly up the mountainside.  Sapphire looked up at the sky for a sign and saw a flash of lightning. Clouds were forming, forewarning of an oncoming danger and rapid changes. Sapphire invited the storm into her life.
   Sapphire had hoped her husband would read her soul and catch a glimpse of her inner state. She wanted Thaddeus to show her compassion. 
   Now Sapphire was cocooned in pain, fear, humiliation, and chaos. From it, Sapphire imagined she would emerge as a butterfly. Without spilling blood, she would rise above the storm. Inside Thaddeus' waking dream, she was leaving him traces of herself in her poetry.
   

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Sapphire's Letter To Layla: Your Sadness

Dearest Layla,

How are destinies are forever intertwined! Your sadness grieves my heart. I feel your pain, doubt, and fear. I also am filled with pain, doubt, and fear. My heart is heavy right now. My soul needs to grieve my loss. When the Light breaks through the darkness that is casted all around me, please take comfort in knowing that I only wish to fulfill my destiny and do not desire to offend God.

It pleases me much to know I am in your good grace again. Trust in God dearest Layla for He knows your heart and loves you.

God Bless,
Sapphire

Monday, January 9, 2017

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Night Is Pregnant With New Day

Beloved,

It is not by my strength alone I remain on my path, but your voice that guides me from the other side. Perhaps you treasure me more than I treasure myself. For all that I have given you, you have promised to pay me back 72-fold. I have responded by saying that is too much!
Let us string our lives together in silence. Let us leave this world to the fools whom know only folly.
Whatever is my lot in this life, I will render all that befalls me good. For no evil ever comes from God. Everything is a blessing and whatever grieves our hearts, we need to only remember the wise words of Hakim, "Night is pregnant with new day!" 

Your Darling

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

The Story of Sapphire and Arion: A Heap of Mud

It seems Darling I have made myself miserable to what is or is not to come. I fret and worry about never seeing you again. All of this worrying has made me so tired. I am a heap of mud- stuck in my own thinking.
Oh, next time we meet up in our night wanderings- do tell my soul not to fret! All is well!

Affectionately,
Sapphire

Thursday, November 3, 2016

The Story of Sapphire and Arion: Ten Questions

Do tell me Beloved:

How long must this illusion go on before I am committed to an asylum?

How long can a lover wait before her heart gives out and she dies?

Haven't you had enough time to compare me to all your other lovers? And did it not make you yearn for the one whom makes you feel alive?

Do you have any pictures of me? Do you have any sketches of me? And if so, may I see?

Am I just an idiot for thinking this could possibly be real?

Sometimes, I hear a song and it reminds me of you. I have to drop everything I'm doing to hear the song. Does this ever happen to you?

Please do tell me if nothing else, what color are your eyes?

Your Darling