Madison Meadows Spiritual Blog: A Journey into Mysticism, Dreams, Twin Flames, & Healing

  Go as deep inside of me as you want Penetrate my core Explore  When you reach the Edge of me Know it's not Where I end But it is where I begin My mystery Is your doing  My history  Is you becoming Undone in me Where there is no you And there is no me There is only I We both like This intimate game Of hide and seek When you find me Then it is my turn To find you We invented the game And the world is our Playground And when we are bored With it or want to hide From the world  We know the secret Entrance to a secret  World that only lovers Know how to find Our mystery  Is the key to Understanding life's  Mysteries Oh if everyone just Gave up the silly games Of the world  And joined in with The lovers for a little Game of hide and seek This world would vanish Into nonexistent All beings would become Invisible cloaked in Joseph's coat Of many colors  The dead would rise out of their graves  And sing Hallelujah  Moses would come do...

  Sapphire was finally settled into her new life after the end of nearly two decades with Thaddeus. She liked her new home, near the mountains where the sacredness of nature greeted her every morning with a prominent presence just outside her window. Sapphire was satisfied with herself and what she had accomplished in the last five years. Her transformation was painful. All her shadows seemed to appear at once and needed to be dealt with head on. Sapphire faced her insecurities, her fears, and all of her new challenges with a valiant spirit. Her prayer time was holy. On her alter was a votive candle of Jesus, a picture of her in a tree at the age of seven, and Arion’s letters to Thaddeus from a lifetime ago. The candle gave her a sense of being present with Jesus and personalized her prayer time with Him. The picture reminded Sapphire of her playful nature that she desperately wanted to reunite with. And the letters were for her eyes only. They held Arion’s essence and in a ...

Beloved, Long ago I forgave you. In all our past lives, I always forgive you and always I have to let you go. I've done this so often, and so often you fight with yourself for loving a woman like me. I know I am the fire that burns forcing you to feel your wounds and to know your soul. I know you must be suffering like me and the silence is killing us both. Often in my mind's eye I play out the words you would say to me. Sometimes there are no words, just silence and your gaze penetrating the thickness of the veil that hides my heart. Our souls then merging into a field beyond the human eye that only love can conceive, foster, and exploit! Then my concentration breaks and I am alone again. Tears come to remind me that what I feel for you is real. The karmic bond between us unbreakable, and yet so much left undone. I don't want to live the rest of my life without you in it. My whole life has been a steady dose of pain and then 21 years ago you gave meaning to that pain. Eve...

i still think about you how can i not? you had such a profound effect on me and my path in life you'll never know how you wounded me and at this point i'm sure you're to scared to ask because that would force you to feel things you don't want to feel so you continue to live in your ego these days and i constantly change from hot to cold when i think about you funny how you have questions but i'll never tell unless of course you stop hiding behind your own pride i'll always be ten steps ahead of you deal with it but it doesn't mean i'm not looking over my shoulder to make sure you're still there and yes darling i am glad you're still there 

you were everything to me when we met i felt a surge of power through my soul and then for years it felt like i was carrying  the sun and the ocean inside of me years have now gone by since i last saw you  and now i feel a void where once you occupied that space within me it is frightning to no longer feel your presence now i have to put you in a safe place in my mind to know love like yours exists makes it hard for me to find another love because nothing compares  to you  not when you've  known love beyond the boundaries of physical connection and felt a greater power with no limits that can only be described as  a love you thought was impossible 

darling, have i lost you? i no longer feel your presence in me. where did you go? you stuck around long enough for me to reclaim my power and left without a goodbye. it's not like you. funny how now i feel stronger than ever now that i'm on my own. maybe you lent me some of your masculine energy. maybe one day you'll return and i can give it back to you. i miss my softness, my vulnerability i let you see. if i ever am lost in this world again, i hope you'll come find me to bring me back to myself like you have many times before. the world is rapidly changing and i can't keep up. how i hope it adds to your wellbeing and your life is unfolding to your wishes and command. if not, may it be so! Sapphire 

I know you won’t admit it, but you miss me. You’re doing a good job keeping my memory alive. So much so, that your thoughts still reach me. I have moved on, keeping the ghost of you alive was doing me no good. I still think of you when I hear a certain song that reminds me of you. I smile on the inside, knowing how my life has been touched by you. I’m a better woman because of you. And even though I may never make sense of how strongly I feel connected to you, I don’t question it anymore. You’re a mystery to me. I’m a mystery to myself.  These days, these precious moments that define me, I savor. As I have started my life over, I have an overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be okay. I feel happier than I have been in years like a heavyweight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hope all is well with you. I hope you have found the courage to live your life as you see fit. I know many times we have said we’re done, but beloved we are never done. Your everlasting gla...

Sapphire had the power in her to create change in her life. She recognized this power in Arion too. Arion clung to his outer life, his possessions and wealth, as a means of taking the focus off of his inner struggles that weighed on his mind and heart. He had grown accustomed to having the void inside of him filled with toys, cars, a big house, and nice things. He purposely deflected his feelings so he could avoid feeling pain.  Her memory haunted him. Arion watched Sapphire’s life from a distance. Sapphire was moving forward on her path and not looking back. She was shifting her perspective and seeing her ties to Arion in a new light. It was no accident their paths had crossed 20 years ago. They each had lessons to learn and karma to undo. Sapphire’s separation from Thaddeus was painful. But the wounds that Arion left on her heart were deeper and more permanent. Arion’s thoughtless actions of not making any attempt to reach out to her, made Sapphire feel unwanted, unloved. ...

Beloved, Do the arrows of my thoughts reach you? I believe they do for I am still dreaming about you. There is an ancient melody between our two hearts- I swear it! Sometimes sad, sometimes sweet, yet inviting and seductive to our souls. I’ve concluded that you and I are double-natured . Our bodies we leave behind and commingle with one another in a far, distant land, not of this world. Yet I have no proof of it. I am moving on Beloved, it feels like without you. But I can still feel you stirring the stars in me. I am regaining my strength, and my spirit has lifted from my long battle. If it was a test from the gods, surely I have passed and been promoted. I will rest for now and regain my good health. But alas , the war is over! Your double-natured counterpart Sapphire

all my thoughts of you are tied up in knots your memory fading from me i fear you will forget me i fear i will never see your smile again i feel the days closing in on me and it becomes harder to breathe if you were here, i'd be okay i could inhale again with ease but for now Beloved i sit here and wait my destiny calling me how i thought you were my destiny now i just second guess myself nothing is what it seems this i've learned the hard way if you were here i'd have all my thoughts lined up in a row neatly placed in front of you i'd show you all the pretty ones first and ask for your help to bury the ugly ones fear can be crippling and doubt pure madness i miss the shine from your eyes that dissolved all my sadness away i will move on even though i don't want to without you but i will because that's what i must do i will always be waiting for you and that will always torture my soul but the Lord hasn't given me more than i c...

Arion,    I never did tell you what you mean to me. So now, I wish to convey to you, so there is no misunderstanding.    First of all, I am very fond of your wife, Layla. She is your sensibility when you are not sensible. She deserves your honesty and loyalty.     It is my desire for you and her to always make choices in the direction that Spirit leads you. It is my sincere hope that the both of you are dedicated to each other's expansion and well being.    It is important to pay attention to the contrast in your life, because what you don't like is telling you what you do like. This is also an indication for the desire of expansion. What is your innermost being trying to tell you? Are you living an authentic life? What do your feelings and thoughts say about your desires? Are your desires in alignment with Source Energy (God)?    You are the Friend of my soul. The one who has always been with me in spirit . The Friend ...

   Oh Arion, since Thaddeus has left I sleep poorly and the visions that do visit me only haunt me.    How I miss our friendship. The memories of you, Thaddeus, and I playing like children, with no cares, revisit me often. Those memories keep him and you alive within my heart.    I hate how Thaddeus left; abruptly and with another woman. He broke my heart. I have tried to put the pieces back together but have failed miserably.    You remind me so much of him. In my own mind, I thought that by loving him I was also loving you. There are so many similarities between the both of you (especially in bad habits), that you both mirror each other.    And even though I know Thaddeus is gone and never coming back, and the way he left me I should hate him- I do not. I miss him. I miss you. I love him and I love you.    I miss the days of laughing in the rain, climbing in trees, basking in the sun, and exploring new landscapes with y...

Beloved, To ache for you Beloved is the same as aching for God. Yearning for you has become my obsession. I have immortalized you in my poetry Beloved because my grief is unbearable. I also desire to touch, as closely as I can, the bliss I felt in your immortal soul's embrace. Do you think Darling that the ache that burns in me, that my readers will recognize the same ache that burns inside of them? How long, my Love, have you waited to hear my words on your longing ears? How long have I waited Darling to look again into your eyes and see the ocean? There comes a time when a person decides to become real. Friends will fall away and even family members become strangers. God has been calling to me, whispering to my heart, " Let the assassin in. Love wants to execute you, transform you from the inside out. You will lose yourself and you will find yourself. The beloved wants to join with your soul now, not after you die." Everyday Beloved we sin, but tomorrow God cou...

Beloved, I am seeking a new name for you and I. A word that does not keep us split apart like two halves of a disk moon. When the moon appears half full, her other half is half empty. But this is not so to the moon. She is a whole disk and thinking of her as only a half is a lie! Beloved, I walk in your shadow. I feel you in this body. You speak intimately to my heart. How can this be?! Any description of you and I fails to articulate your presence in me. What I possess and what I have gained by knowing you exceeds any treasure of the richest king on earth! For Darling, I possess the companion of my soul that will accompany me even after death. What more can a girl ask for? P.S.  Even if you came to me in your drunken state, I wouldn't want you to leave. I'd ask you to stay. All of my Affection, Sapphire

Beloved, I keep holding on to the many images of you Darling . They help me get through my day. I had a dream you were here with me. You came up from behind me and wrapped your arms around me. I never felt so much solace and peace in my life. I felt safe in your embrace. Oh how I wish it wasn't a dream! How I wish you were more than just a phantom. But how I do draw strength from your phantom! You Darling are a mystery to me. If I could solve your mystery, there would be no more mysteries to solve. You are a fountainhead that contains all of God's secrets. If I bring you my cup will you fill it for me? All of My Affection, Sapphire

Arion,    I was sure by now Beloved I would win your heart over by my glowing remarks on my love for you. There are no secrets between us, for you see all. There is no hiding my intentions from you. I can not bury them like a dog does a bone. And even if I did, you would know where to dig them up.    This marvelous fictional love affair is at times really sad. And at other times very glorious. But I am tired now and my words are splitting pens. I want you to know that I SURRENDER!    I can not chase after you anymore or run from you. My soul is weary. My heart is broken. My mind is divided.    Promise me you will believe in yourself and never give up on your dreams. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Always remember that my love is without beginning or end. Your Darling

Beloved, If I send you my story will you finish it for me? I am weary. My hand can barely hold a pen. My story weighs me down. I am exhausted from all the characters trying to kill me. It is a scene from a battlefield! Tanks, soldiers, artillery, the field soaked in blood. Bodies everywhere! Each one an aspect of me now dead. I'm afraid that I will be unrecognizable to you. All the goodness and purity you saw in me gone. So please Beloved finish my story. Write me a happy ending and restore me to the image you hold of me. I can't bare to live this woman I have become. Do it with urgency! Your Darling

      Sapphire went to bed to weep for the man she loved. The sting of rejection hurt worse than the words from Thaddeus' mouth. It set a tidal wave into motion inside of her. Sapphire had prepared herself for the emotional storm that she'd foreseen.    In her vision, Sapphire stood on the top of a mountain. Below, the sea was rising with great force swiftly up the mountainside.  Sapphire looked up at the sky for a sign and saw a flash of lightning. Clouds were forming, forewarning of an oncoming danger and rapid changes. Sapphire invited the storm into her life.    Sapphire had hoped her husband would read her soul and catch a glimpse of her inner state. She wanted Thaddeus to show her compassion.     Now Sapphire was cocooned in pain, fear, humiliation, and chaos. From it, Sapphire imagined she would emerge as a butterfly. Without spilling blood, she would rise above the storm. Inside Thaddeus' waking dream, she was l...

Dearest Layla, How are destinies are forever intertwined! Your sadness grieves my heart. I feel your pain, doubt, and fear. I also am filled with pain, doubt, and fear. My heart is heavy right now. My soul needs to grieve my loss. When the Light breaks through the darkness that is casted all around me, please take comfort in knowing that I only wish to fulfill my destiny and do not desire to offend God. It pleases me much to know I am in your good grace again. Trust in God dearest Layla for He knows your heart and loves you. God Bless, Sapphire

Beloved, It is not by my strength alone I remain on my path, but your voice that guides me from the other side. Perhaps you treasure me more than I treasure myself. For all that I have given you, you have promised to pay me back 72-fold. I have responded by saying that is too much! Let us string our lives together in silence. Let us leave this world to the fools whom know only folly. Whatever is my lot in this life, I will render all that befalls me good. For no evil ever comes from God. Everything is a blessing and whatever grieves our hearts, we need to only remember the wise words of Hakim, "Night is pregnant with new day!"  Your Darling