Madison Meadows Spiritual Blog: A Journey into Mysticism, Dreams, Twin Flames, & Healing

  From Journal Entry 7/2/2026 In the first part of the dream, I found myself on a desert road. I wasn't desperately searching for my twin flame, but I knew he was somewhere nearby. There was an expectation that our paths would cross. Then I received a message that stopped me in my tracks: I had missed him by three minutes. He had driven by in an older white pickup truck, and our meeting never happened. Three minutes. Such a small amount of time, yet it represented an entire lifetime. The desert has always reminded me of spiritual journeys. It is a place where distractions disappear and where God often speaks in the silence. Perhaps the desert road symbolized the long path our souls have traveled…sometimes together spiritually, yet separated physically by circumstances and timing. The older white pickup truck also felt symbolic. White often represents peace, purity, and spiritual truth. The older truck reminded me of the past, of a life that continued moving forward even when our pa...

From Journal Entry: June 20, 2002 In the dream, there was a brother and sister named Elise and Ben. They were deeply in love with one another. When their friends discovered the nature of their relationship, everyone was shocked. Yet Elise and Ben felt no shame about their feelings. They openly accepted their bond despite the reactions of those around them. At the time I had this dream, my husband and I had friends whose names were Elise and Ben. In waking life, they were married. Because of that, I initially assumed the dream was somehow connected to them. The dream was strange, memorable, and symbolic, but I had no idea what it meant. Then something unexpected happened. Not long after having this dream, I accepted a position as a nanny for a Jewish family. Their two children were named Aliza and Ben. When I first heard their names, I immediately thought back to my dream. Aliza was a baby, and I absolutely fell in love with her. Caring for her awakened something deep within me. In many...

From Journal Entry 12/17/2010 This dream came right after the twin flame dream I had on December 17, 2010. The same day I would see my tf for the last time. I didn’t know at the time that the first dream would become such an important emotional marker. But what’s even more interesting is the dream that followed it immediately after. Looking back now, it feels like a continuation… not of him, but of me. Who I was becoming after that quiet, unfinished connection. In this second dream, I’m looking at Gucci purses with a beautiful woman. She’s wearing a long, elegant dress. She can afford them. There’s something composed and confident about her. She’s a doctor, and she does facial therapy on women. She recommends a product to me that looks like sand in a bag for my face. I admire her. Then I’m looking at clothes on a table with other women. A bee is buzzing around, and I think it’s cute. Then I’m bouncing a small ball in a box. That’s the entire dream. But emotionally, it feels like ...

From Journal Entry December 17, 2010 This is the morning I had a dream about my twin flame… not knowing I would physically see him later that day for the last time. I didn’t know it then. I only know it now. And when I look back, the dream feels like something quiet, something gentle… almost like an emotional goodbye before I even knew I was saying one. In the dream, we were alone together in an elevator. I remember telling him it gave me anxiety. I held onto his arm, and immediately I felt better. Then he carried me in his arms. I remember feeling completely relaxed, safe, and calm. I didn’t want to leave his arms. I reached up and touched a strand of his hair under his hat… such a small, intimate moment. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but all I said was, “This was nice.” That’s all. Just those words. But inside, there was so much more. Then the scene changed. We were in an empty building that was still under construction. He was showing me around, walking me through ...

From Journal Entry 4/14/2026 I had a dream about my daughter that stayed with me long after I woke up. It felt symbolic, emotional, and honestly… a little unsettling. The kind of dream that makes you stop and think, what is my heart trying to tell me? For some background my daughter is 18, a senior in high school, and getting ready to graduate. We have a good relationship, one I truly value. She still lives at home, and we’re in that in-between stage of life where she’s no longer a little girl, but not fully out on her own yet either. In the dream, she was lying on her stomach on a bed, wearing a shirt. I had a pair of scissors, and I was cutting vertical lines down the back of her shirt—intentionally making it look tattered. I remember being very focused, very careful, pressing down just enough to cut the fabric but trying so hard not to hurt her skin underneath. But despite all that care… I ended up making a small cut on her back. It wasn’t a big injury, but I noticed it im...

  ​ It’s strange the way grief and memory weave themselves into our dreams. Time has a habit of bending and breaking, and sometimes, the answers we seek in the waking world are handed to us, raw and unfiltered, in our sleep. ​ From Journal Entry 10/15/2010 It was only five days after my cousin was murdered by her boyfriend. I was living in a shockwave, but the dream itself didn't feel like my everyday life. Instead, I was transported. ​ I was in ancient Roman times. The scene was the Colosseum, a place defined by its raw, primal justice. There were games underway, and I was competing. I wasn’t just a spectator; I was a warrior in that arena. Even then, my instinct was protective; I felt the fierce need to guard my friends who were with me in the crowd. And then, I saw him. The killer. His appearance was different than in the present day, but I knew. I knew who he was instantly. He was a shadow in the crowd, a parasite in the perfect order of that ancient place. Ou...

  From Journal Entry: October 4, 2010 I had a dream that came shortly after a visit that my husband (ex-husband now) and I took with our two children to see my twin flame and his family in Salida, Colorado. To give you some context… my twinflame and ex were childhood friends. Our kids were around the same ages. We had spent nearly a week there at the beginning of August in 2010. I remember being very aware during that visit of the preciousness of those moments. I didn’t speak about the deep connection I felt. I didn’t mention my writing or my blog, Madison Meadows. At that time my twinflame knew nothing about that part of my life. Instead, I simply allowed myself to be present … to enjoy being in his company, surrounded by his family, savoring each moment. Yet deep inside, I had a powerful feeling that this might be the last time I would ever see him in person. Not long after returning home, I had the following dream. The Dream In the dream, I am back in Salida. I am walk...

  ​They say that turtles carry their homes on their backs, moving through the world at a pace that refuses to be rushed. I’ve always felt a deep connection to that. For twenty-five years, I shared my life with a desert tortoise. A quarter-century of slow, steady companionship. When I eventually had to give him away, that love for tortoises and turtles stayed with me. ​Years ago, while visiting my mom in Hannibal, Missouri, I found a beautiful turtle ring. It was the perfect souvenir…a tiny, silver reminder of my roots, my mom, and the tortoise I’d loved for so long. ​But then, life got a little complicated. ​Two years ago, I traveled to Kalamazoo, Michigan. I was visiting a friend…someone I thought at the time might be a soulmate. It was one of those "Person of Interest" chapters where you’re trying to see if the pieces fit. ​As it turns out, the romantic spark didn't catch, though we remained friends. But as I flew back home from that trip, I realized with a he...

K undalini energy sits like a sleeping serpent at the root Chakra. It awakens gradually when the sexual energy is harnessed and directed upwards, through chastity, instead of downwards through sexual intercourse. It works its way up gradually as One is chaste, contemplating God, and is devoted to a spiritual path. For me… it began with a daily practice of yoga and meditation. I also had a deep desire to know God. That desire led me to my encounter with my twinflame. But, if One doesn't meet their twinflame in this outer world, One can encounter their twinflame in the inner world. With a strong desire to know God/Love, One can reunite with their twinflame. It is a spiritual experience with inner transformation. It unfolds in divine timing. For me, it was years and years of suffering because I felt crazy. Past life memories came flooding back. My dreams were reshaping my perception of reality. My ego had to be put in check. Journaling became good medicine. If you are wanting to awake...

From Journal Entry 4/20/25 I'm at the nursing home where my mom lives. I feel her sadness, fear, and loneliness.  She walks over to me and asks, "Will you hold me?" I hold her reassuring her she's loved.  It was Easter morning when I had this dream. At dawn, my boyfriend and I hiked up Cloud 9. We did a ceremony and I did a meditation.  I could not stop thinking about my mom. So I sent her love and I cried. Not so much for me, but for her.  My mom may have not been the loving mom I craved growing up. I can count on one hand the number of times she said I love you.  She was very unstable emotionally and mentally.  It took a toll on me as a child and left wounds that I'm still healing from. It wasn't 'til I was an adult and had my own kids did I begin to understand how hard she had it growing up. And how she was just repeating the same abusive behavior as her mother.  Over the years I've had dreams about my mom. Three months before she ended up in the nu...

Unexpectedly, I met Scott, a sacred soulmate/great love/soul brother. He showed up at the perfect time when I wasn't looking for a relationship. And in three short months changed my life. For years, I lived with depression and this man, that just appears out of nowhere, leaves his imprint on my soul by gifting me with unconditional love and healing my mind, body, and soul. Scott ignited my rootfire and heartfire... a burning I had not felt since my twinflame. I wanted him near me.. so I could soul gaze into his eyes. This was what I always desired with a partner and here he was willing and ready. I gave him an invitation into an opening of myself that invited him into my most sacred, vulnerable parts that no one has ever seen. I gave him permission to enter and told him I was willing to be hurt by him. But the Cosmos had to throw a wrench into our plans. Our meeting would not happen. And even though I got to know him for a brief second, he changed my life, helped heal my depressi...

  I started my spiritual journey 24 years ago. For me, it was out of necessity. My whole life has been landmarks of supernatural experiences that I could not explain. So, I began to read everything out there... metaphysical, new age, and every religion under the sun. There was a drastic shift in my spiritual path when I met my twin flame. He was a catalyst for my spiritual growth that led me into the world of mysticism. I fell in love with Rumi, studied Gnosticism, and opened myself up to meditation. I became addicted to Astral projection and obsessed over my dreams. I withdrew from the world and isolated myself. The dream world became my escape...escape from pain, grief, and depression. I felt alone most of my life until I met my twin flame. In the beginning, I didn't know anything about twin flames. Spirit has always guided me on my journey, leading me to the right book, place, or person. My experiences started to make sense as I began to have synchronicities. My research...

  Journal Entry 1/10/2023 I'm home for two weeks because of Covid. I feel fine though. This morning I was doing Yoga and Tai Chi. While doing Tai Chi, I could feel how much lighter my energy felt. It was noticeable. It made me happy. It was like a confirmation that all the energy work I've done on myself has paid off. I have gotten rid of emotional and mental baggage.  I remembered the first time I went to a Tai Chi class. It was during my divorce. The instructor, at the end of the class, made a comment about how my energy was heavy and encouraged me to keep doing Tai Chi.  Then, I got this synchronicity, from an email subscription, it blew my mind! It read like this... A very heavy energy has been released. There's a new energy of relief and revival. It is a major mental breakthrough. You are conquering a major soul lesson. The lesson is that you can be and have the right to be in control of your reality. You didn't prioritize yourself. You took whatever was in front o...

  For most of my life, I have lived with depression. I never made it my identity though. Instead, I strove for good mental health awareness. I sought to accept it, but also saw it as an opportunity to go beyond the symptoms and get to the root cause. My childhood was plagued with emotional and psychological abuse from my mother and grandmother. I was told often by my mother, “I brought you into this world, I can take you out.” I believed her threat to the point I'd lock my bedroom door at night while I slept. She'd yell, curse, and throw things at me. My grandmother was no different. My mom was herself a victim repeating the pattern of abuse. I also had abandonment issues from when my dad divorced my mom. I was nine years old and remember vividly the morning he left. His van was packed up. He drove me and my brother to the bus stop on a cold Illinois winter day. He said goodbye. I didn't believe he was actually gone. I thought he'd be home after I got out of school. ...

  Dear Invisible Lover, I want you to know that you were the inspiration for my blog. In the beginning, when I was completely love-struck by you, I didn't know if we would ever get the opportunity to know each other. In 2010, when I started my blog, we both were married and started families of our own. I remember praying about it because you were so heavily on my mind and in my heart. I felt such a strong connection to you.. I was dreaming of you often and it began to feel like I was a part of your life, but in a way that isn't dictated by normal everyday reality. I felt such a strong inner pull guiding me to share myself with you in a way that could be tangible.. Where you could know me intimately. And my back thought was there would never be an opportunity for us to know each other. Crazy that I also believed you would be scared away once you read about me and really got to know me.. I thought you'd run in the other direction. I thought you'd think this c...

  I'm doing my best to stop thinking about you. It's not easy. There's a lot of synchronicities that pop up almost everyday that remind me of you. They remind me of who I was when I was with you. Now it feels like I'm trying to find my way back to that girl.. The carefree, wild spirit that emerged every time I was near you. I know she exist. I'm just having a hard time finding her since you left. I got so caught up in the feelings you made me feel that I lost my way back to her. I've seen her inside my dreams, sometimes dancing.. Sometimes running free and climbing trees. She feels safe in that space.. Safer to be herself. I don't blame her for not wanting to come out. There's emotional scars and wounds that would only weigh her down out here. Some of it caused by your memory. Some of it self inflicted.. Loving someone that she feels abandoned her. I tell her I'm here and remind her I'm not going anywhere. I tell her how much I...

  This is how my day started... Woke up from a bad dream. In it, powerlines came crashing down. There are wolves in the street killing people. Men pick up guns to kill the wolves. I'm trying to hide from the danger. Get out of bed... With my first cup of coffee, I look up the meanings to get a better grasp on my inner conflict. Its not good! The dream meaning of wolves attacking... unresolved emotional issues as a result of someone angry with you. Killing a wolf means you feel betrayed by someone very close to you. And a downed line on a street can represent a force or power that has interrupted a person's path to many things as a result of something outside their control. Great! Someone really has it out for me and I have emotional issues (which I already am aware of). I try to focus my thoughts on having a good day... I turn on my space heaters in the living room (my heater on the house went out a few days ago). On the positive note, I  got to sleep in until 7a because ...

  Twenty years ago, I had a falling out with my twin brother. Recently, at a family funeral, we made peace. I tried several times over the years to reach out and mend the damage. My brother is very stubborn, hard headed with a lot of pride. All these years our rift has kept our family separated.  I can't help but think about how our lives could of been fuller with time spent together.  It's hard to accept the disappointment from the rejection. I try to look at it as a teaching moment where I can expand my heart to those that are difficult to love. If you had a falling out with a loved one, don't give up. Keep trying to reach them. In God's timing healing will come.

  I remember the day I lost you. I remember exactly where I was and how suddenly the loss of you hit me. I was driving to work. A stupid old 80's love song was playing on the radio. I felt you in me… with me. Then the phone rang. It was Him. He said he talked to you and you denied any mutual feelings. Then you laughed it off. My heart sank in my chest. I couldn't breathe. Nothing in that moment felt real. It was a fright that shook my soul. I was on a journey with you for nearly two decades.. the same amount of time I was married to Him. You both left me, abruptly, without warning or explanation. I have always been a skeptic of love and for good reason! Always hoping that someone will love me and stick around 'til the end. Except when my destiny kindly reminds me otherwise. I may never hear from your lips the truth. I will learn, in time, to be okay with that. I have to because I have to move on from you.. my past and everything that was just temporary. I'm not go...