It's not easy.
There's a lot of synchronicities that pop up almost everyday that remind me of you.
They remind me of who I was when I was with you.
Now it feels like I'm trying to find my way back to that girl..
The carefree, wild spirit that emerged every time I was near you.
I know she exist.
I'm just having a hard time finding her since you left.
I got so caught up in the feelings you made me feel that I lost my way back to her.
I've seen her inside my dreams, sometimes dancing..
Sometimes running free and climbing trees.
She feels safe in that space..
Safer to be herself.
I don't blame her for not wanting to come out.
There's emotional scars and wounds that would only weigh her down out here.
Some of it caused by your memory.
Some of it self inflicted..
Loving someone that she feels abandoned her.
I tell her I'm here and remind her I'm not going anywhere.
I tell her how much I miss her and even cry.
Maybe one day she'll feel safe enough to come out.
Not because she's waiting for you to return.
But because she feels confident in her own spirit to let her guard down..
Trusting in herself to love again without the fear of getting hurt.
