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Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Surviving Your Memory


Long ago I forgave you. In all our past lives, I always forgive you and always I have to let you go. I've done this so often, and so often you fight with yourself for loving a woman like me. I know I am the fire that burns forcing you to feel your wounds and to know your soul.

I know you must be suffering like me and the silence is killing us both. Often in my mind's eye I play out the words you would say to me. Sometimes there are no words, just silence and your gaze penetrating the thickness of the veil that hides my heart. Our souls then merging into a field beyond the human eye that only love can conceive, foster, and exploit!

Then my concentration breaks and I am alone again. Tears come to remind me that what I feel for you is real. The karmic bond between us unbreakable, and yet so much left undone.

I don't want to live the rest of my life without you in it. My whole life has been a steady dose of pain and then 21 years ago you gave meaning to that pain. Every word left unsaid still stirs my heart and with it all the imaginings of what we could be.

I am moving forward, but I am doing so against my own will. Now it's just a matter of surviving your memory. Now I'm doing it to prove to myself I don't need you.

You've taught me to depend on no one but myself. You are the master of needing no one and relying only on yourself. So, thank you for the karmic lesson. I needed to learn this.

If our paths ever do cross again, I’m sure I’ll be unrecognizable to you. I don’t doubt that you will have changed too. I hope you still look at me with the eyes of a long-lost lover finally returning home. May God always be with you and me!!



Sunday, September 27, 2020

If It's Meant For You

 If it’s meant for you, it won’t be toxic...

It won’t bring out your insecurities or your fears or the worst in you because it will bring peace into your life and into your heart...
If it’s meant for you, it won’t feel like a burden... You won’t have to explain to anyone why it’s not as bad as they think it is and you won’t have to go to sleep wondering if you’re lying to yourself because you’d be sure of it...
You’d be sure that it’s right for you...
If it’s meant for you, it won’t feel like a war...
A war with yourself because you’re letting it drag on or because you can’t get out of it...
A war with your friends because they can all see that you’re settling...
A war with love because part of you knows that it shouldn’t be this hard...
If it’s meant for you, you won’t have to constantly question if it is...
You won’t have to look for signs or ask for advice or look for confirmation that it’s right. You’d just know...
It will feel like home...
It will make you feel safe...
It will give you one less thing to worry about... It will be healthy for you...
If it’s meant for you, you won’t have to chase after it...
You won’t have to try too hard or turn your life upside down for it to work...
You won’t have to lose yourself so you can keep it...
If it’s meant for you, it will bring you closer to who you really are...
It will enhance all the beautiful parts of you and make you more open to love, more nurturing, more compassionate and more forgiving...
If it’s meant for you, it won’t break your heart... There may be disappointments or letdowns or conflicts but it will never break your spirit, it will never close your heart off and it will never let you suppress your innermost feelings...
Because what’s meant for you doesn’t come around very often, but when it does, when it’s not another lesson or another mistake, when it’s finally yours after everything you’ve endured and everything you’ve been through, it comes like a wave washing over you.
It feels like home.
Reference ~Rania Naim

Thursday, September 24, 2020

Women Rising

i'm sure
the independent
brave women
are killing it
right now
during this Covid-19
we've survived through
many storms
weathered abusive relationships
and we are raising kids
teaching them
how the world really is
not sugar coating it
as we live
our daily lives
more awake
than ever before
we see
and recognize
we are the change
that needs to happen
and we're raising our kids
to be more in tune
with the inner
than the outer
we embrace one another
and ourselves
as we are
but committed
to healing and growing
because we know
that the way the world
has been running
can't function
in chaos, deception, and greed anymore
we brave women
are rising to our true calling and power
and growing in numbers
this is not a man's world anymore!!


Sunday, September 20, 2020

Soulmates Reconnecting


i'm sure of it
i loved you
in another lifetime
our karmic paths
have criss-crossed
and we meet again
some call it fate
but i promised you
a lifetime ago
i would always
find you
and you promised
you would carry me
forever in your heart
and send out feelers
so you could be found
every heartache
painstaking life event
led me to you
this invisible force
pulling me to you
i don't doubt you love me
how could i
with one look
in your eyes
and the memory
of us
comes rushing back
like it was yesterday

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Become the Witness


We are all fucked up on some level, We all come in with our baggage to work with and on. No human being escapes this unless they are an avatar with a different purpose. So the biggest illusion in my eyes is that we need to be perfect and if we are not then we need to forgive ourselves. Our fuck up ness is always going to surface, the difference between a spiritual warrior and one caught up in the herd illusion is self acceptance followed by conscious self observation without judgment. Without this there will always be a split between who we think we should be and who we are, we will judge others as harshly as we judge ourselves. When we simply witness we have already won because the Witness is the higher self and there will be response coming from awareness instead of reaction coming from habitual programs and self rejection.


Sunday, September 13, 2020

Wild Love

he's in love
with your wildness
it draws him in
like a moth to a flame
he sees you're courageous
and living the life
you've designed
he knows you are his
that he possesses your heart
he also knows
you need space
and can't be led
by him or anyone
he's wild about you
he may not show it outwardly
but i assure you darling
your wildness
is pulling him in

Monday, September 7, 2020

Allow Sadness

 Sadness is a heavier energy, lurking just beneath all that fear. Fear keeps the sadness locked in place, by preventing us from ever addressing, honestly and authentically, the fact that we don’t want to feel our own broken hearts.

It’s a defense mechanism that keeps the sadness at bay. We don’t want to open ourselves to our own sadness. Who wants to be that vulnerable? All that loss, that grief, that avalanche of sorrow?
Why would we sign on for such a thing? So many times people tell me they’re afraid that if they start feeling their sadness, they’ll never stop crying.
But here is a radical idea: The ability to be sad is a blessing.
In our childhoods, we were taught that sadness is a sign of weakness. Remember your own childhood: Were you ever called a crybaby? Or made to feel ashamed of your tears? Did you somehow internalize the message that you were supposed to stuff those feelings, put on a brave face, chin up and all that?
I’m here to tell you that if you want to release the vibrational density you’re carrying around, you need to do the precise opposite. Feel it. Feel it all. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we are experiencing a blessing. We are offering ourselves the opportunity to see and experience life authentically, without defenses or screens keeping us front our own true nature.
There is an exquisiteness to sadness and pain. It as a quality and resonance that is unique. It’s a way we all can relate to one another, because we all feel sadness. Were it not for our judgement of that emotion, no one would have a problem feeling it.
Sadness is socially unacceptable, we’re conditioned from day one to understand sadness as a sign of weakness, so people refuse to experience it, and it accumulates weight.
Its density grows in the body. Look at the body language and posture of someone who is experiencing a depression: They seem to carry a weight on their shoulders. They’re hunched over. They can hardly get out of bed. It’s like a weeping willow tree as opposed to mighty oak. The oak tree is firm and elegant and upright. The weeping willow has allowed the burdens of life to bend it.
The key is to shift your experience of sadness. Grief? Loss? Tears pouring down your cheeks? Good. Feel it all. Know that you are one of 7.2 billion people on this planet who experience the same thing.
The rejection of sadness further separates you from your own wholeness. Lean into it. Breathe. Accept. Embrace and embody the blessings of sadness, because where there is acceptance, judgement no longer has any power.
When you let this energy wash over you, there will be an intensity to it, but as you keep allowing it to flow through you, it will eventually diminish. Allow life to do its job.~
~Panache Desai