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Saturday, August 29, 2020

The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have


when a woman
is on the verge of losing everything
she's beyond desperate
beyond reach
she finds the strength
to do the impossible
she discovers a super power
that allows her
to carry on
but not like before
she does it with pure intent
to not merely survive
like she has been in the past
but to carve a place for herself
in this world
she does so
out of a thirst for true power
after being rejected by everyone
because she accepts what others could not
she embraces those parts of herself
and integrates them into her whole being
this is the secret:
love yourself
deep and hard
the relationship
you have with yourself
is the most important relationship
you will ever have

Saturday, August 22, 2020

I Am Not Who I Once Was

I am not who I once was...
I’m different. I have a voice. I don’t care what people think of me anymore. I allow myself to be seen—the real me, not the one I think will win people’s approval.

I base my self-worth not on what anybody else thinks of me, but on what I think of myself.

I’m a bit of a rule-breaker now, and I don’t apologize for that.

I will never be who I once was because of what I have been through.

The truth is, challenging circumstances in our lives change us. The death of a child, escape from an abusive relationship, a life threatening illness, an affair that forced you to face who you really are instead of who you were pretending to be, coming out from the other side of an addiction that almost killed you—those things change us.

We pass through them. And we are never, ever the same.

When these things happen in our lives, the experience lifts our energetic vibration and gets our attention. It forces us to pause, reflect on what we have been through and own who we now are, or who we want to be, now that our masks are off.

These experiences happen to us to shake things up. Get us out of our fog. Reveal things that may have been hidden or we just weren’t willing to see.

I wanted to be a better version of myself after my life fell apart. I wanted to be more compassionate, more understanding, less judgmental and more accepting of myself and my own flaws.

I wanted to take my pain and use it to help others.

There was a moment in my own process where I cried to a friend that I wasn’t who I used to be in a relationship. I couldn’t open up—couldn’t give of myself. I couldn’t be vulnerable or loving or affectionate the way I had been. I said, “I’m not this person. Why can’t I be the person I was?”

He said, “Because you are not the same person anymore. You will never be the person you were before this happened to you. You are forever changed from that experience and now you need to discover who that new person is.”

Our job is not to apologize to the people in our lives who knew us before because we can’t go back to being the person before the crisis. The crisis happened for a reason.

We sometimes can’t go back into a marriage after we’ve had an affair, because the affair changed us.

We can’t go back to a partner that supported us through an addiction, because what kept us with them in the first place was the addiction itself.

Once you’ve changed, everyone around you follows suit.

Your energy changes; their energy changes.

If you are the person trying to support a friend, a spouse, a lover or a family member through a life crisis, understand that they will not be the person you once knew.

Don’t expect them to be.

Expect that they are either going to rise up to their full potential or spiral out of control. They will not fall into line and give in to things they know are no longer right for them anymore, because of what they have been through.

They will not comply.

They won't be forced into decisions or just do what they’re told to do anymore. They have some battle scars.

They will start living their life differently. Maybe doing things you don’t understand or will make you scream, “Why are they doing this? This isn’t who they are.”

Except it is. It is who they are now. They are not who they once were. They are somebody new.

You will have to accept this new version of them if you want them in your life. Have compassion. Allow them to be this new person.

They arrived here because of something deeply traumatic and painful. They are coming into who they are meant to be because of it. It is part of their personal journey and one that will hopefully elevate them to a place far greater than they ever would have gotten before their trauma happened.

So celebrate it.

Reference~ Dina Strada 

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

The Inner Space Traveler


you will spend years
getting to know me
and still not understand me
i am quiet
and underneath the surface
i am contemplating a million things
i am trying to connect the dots
to my existence
and this takes
a lot of mental and psychological work
introverts need to make sense of the world
outside and inside of themselves
for us
there is a deminsion of soul
that begs us to explore more deeply
we are inner space explorers
traveling through our hearts and minds
and cracking open the mystery of our existence

Sunday, August 9, 2020

Sapphire's Poem: Hot and Cold

i still
think about you
how can i not?
you had such a profound
effect on me
and my path in life
you'll never know
how you wounded me
and at this point
i'm sure you're to scared
to ask
because that would
force you to feel
things you don't
want to feel
so you continue to
live in your ego
these days
and i constantly
change from
hot to cold
when i think
about you
funny how you have questions
but i'll never tell
unless of course
you stop hiding
behind your own pride
i'll always be
ten steps ahead of you
deal with it
but it doesn't mean
i'm not looking over
my shoulder
to make sure
you're still there
and yes darling
i am glad
you're still there 

Friday, August 7, 2020

Embracing a New Love

 my dear man,

how i adore you! you may not know all my pain and battles i have fought that led up to our paths crossing, but it is my firm belief that it all had to happen in order for me to meet you. i have known lonliness, hopelessness, and despair intimately. and in those moments of my life they taught me to rely on myself. meeting you has been life changing. meeting a soul like you has reminded me that there are still a few good men left in the world. i just count my lucky stars that i have you and how blessed i am to be your woman, your partner in crime. whatever this union has to offer, i will embrace it!!



Saturday, August 1, 2020

Anxiety Attacks

sometimes i feel
like i can't breathe
my chest tightens
my heart races
my palms sweat
i have to tell myself
inhale four
exhale four
i do this
and it helps
life is stressful
and only you
can get control
when you feel out of control
when you feel like this
just slow down
and breathe

that's all it takes
to recenter
and remember
this too shall pass