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Thursday, November 29, 2018

Dream of The Living Word and Bad Omen, Part 1

From Journal Entry 10/17/2014

   A woman comes to me in my dream and delivers two messages to me, one of hope and the other a warning. She says, "There are a few on earth now that are the Living Word. Things are happening fast now and we will see it before we die.

   Jesus Christ is the full expression of God's written and spoken word. He is the Living Word that took up a physical body in order to remind us of our true identity in God as divine, eternal beings. Jesus took up a spiritual body when He was crucified and His spirit dwells within every living soul. Every human has the seed to birth the Christ Consciousness within their bodies. We're told in 1 Peter 1:22 You have made your souls pure by obeying the truth through the Holy Spirit. And how exactly do you discern the truth of the Holy Spirit? The answer is found in 1 Corinthians 2:13 And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those that are spiritual. Finally then we become transformed into the Living Word, John 1:4 In the Word exists life, which provides Light to all men. 
   Does it sound like a simple thing to do? No, it's not because there is suffering involved, and like Jesus one must be willing to suffer. One must be willing to follow God's voice from within. And one must be dedicated to the service of others. By studying Jesus' teachings we can learn how to become more Christlike and impart his message of divine love onto others.

Tuesday, November 27, 2018


i watched him
slip away from me
i watched him drink
and chase other women
i watched it become
more difficult for
me to love him
i watched him destroy himself
our marriage
and me
i watched myself 
fall apart 
after he left
and i watched myself
put all the pieces back together
of my shattered life
and start over again
i watched myself
descend into a hell
and rise up like a warrior

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Women that Survive Abuse

that woman is
as tough as nails
if she can survive you
she can survive anything

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Sapphire's Poem to Arion: I Am Yours Forever

all my thoughts of you are tied up in knots
your memory fading from me
i fear you will forget me
i fear i will never see your smile again
i feel the days closing in on me
and it becomes harder to breathe
if you were here, i'd be okay
i could inhale again with ease
but for now Beloved i sit here and wait
my destiny calling me
how i thought you were my destiny
now i just second guess myself
nothing is what it seems
this i've learned the hard way
if you were here
i'd have all my thoughts
lined up in a row
neatly placed in front of you
i'd show you all the pretty ones first
and ask for your help to bury the ugly ones
fear can be crippling
and doubt pure madness
i miss the shine from your eyes
that dissolved all my sadness away
i will move on
even though i don't want to without you
but i will because that's what i must do
i will always be waiting for you
and that will always torture my soul
but the Lord hasn't given
me more than i can take
i am the wounded lover
and my scars i am not ashamed of
i wouldn't have it any other way Beloved,
i wouldn't have it any other way

Sunday, November 18, 2018

A Way Out of this Prison

The wicked women to the wicked men is wisdom: the ugly is the mate and fitting (consort) for the ugly. Whatever, then, you wish to mate with, go, become absorbed in the loved (object), and assume its shape and quality.

If you wish for the light, make yourself ready to receive the light, if you wish to be far (from God), become self-conceited and far. And if you wish (to find) a way out of this ruined prison do not turn your head away from the Beloved, but bow in worship and draw high.

Reference~ The Mathnawi

Friday, November 16, 2018


we were both looking
for two different
types of love:
me a heaven,
you a hell

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Windows to the Soul

a smile can
cover up sadness
deep-rooted pain
even anger
but the eyes never lie

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Angels Battling Demons

don’t worry about your reputation ladies when you have to go to war. the only thing that anyone can say about you is she’s a badass. she stands for truth and will lie to protect it. she stands for peace and will fight on the front lines of a good battle. she stands for justice and will do everything that’s within her power to preserve it. she stands up for all women who have been beaten down by a man’s words or fists.

it comes with the painful understanding that as women we at times have to go to war and get bloody. and only then do we truly discover who we are and we can say “fuck my reputation! i just conquered the meanest mountain, stomped on the heads of my enemies, and survived an unimaginable hell!”

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Finding Gold

i only saw your potential
and ignored mine
i invested everything in you
instead of myself
now i’m paying attention
to my desires and needs
and i think i found a gold mine!

Sunday, November 4, 2018

My Sanctuary

my bed isn’t a playground for half-ass lovers. my bed gives me warmth, comfort, and relief from all the stresses of the world. it’s where i dream, pray and meditate, read and write. it’s where i cry into my pillow and talk to God.
when the curtains are drawn, it’s where the moon softens my eyes so i can fall asleep. on restless nights, when i find myself tossing and turning, my mind drifts to the man of my dreams lying next to me in my sanctuary.