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This is how my day started...
Woke up from a bad dream. In it, powerlines came crashing down. There are wolves in the street killing people. Men pick up guns to kill the wolves. I'm trying to hide from the danger.
Get out of bed...
With my first cup of coffee, I look up the meanings to get a better grasp on my inner conflict. Its not good! The dream meaning of wolves attacking... unresolved emotional issues as a result of someone angry with you. Killing a wolf means you feel betrayed by someone very close to you. And a downed line on a street can represent a force or power that has interrupted a person's path to many things as a result of something outside their control. Great! Someone really has it out for me and I have emotional issues (which I already am aware of).
I try to focus my thoughts on having a good day...
I turn on my space heaters in the living room (my heater on the house went out a few days ago). On the positive note, I got to sleep in until 7a because my daughter stayed home from school the last day before Christmas break. Beats getting up at 5:20a! Yes, that was a nice thought until I tripped the breaker and I now have no heat! So out I go to the breaker box to reset the breaker. Except the damn lid is a bitch to open. Now I'm pissed! And cold! Finally I get it open and reset the breaker. I go inside finish my coffee and cry.
Off to work...
My client wants to go shopping at the mall today. I hate shopping! I've already had an anxiety attack driving to her house and am in no mood to be around crowds. As an empath I've learned to ground myself. I've really mastered this shit! But today I don't want to deal with all of the mixed energies surging through my body. The whole time shopping, I am consciously breathing and mindfully aware of my body's reaction to all of it. I get through it. Thank God!
I just want to get home...
At least that was the plan. I talked to my daughter. She's having neck pain from sleeping on it wrong. Her dad hasn't picked her up. She hasn't eaten anything all day. I can tell she just really wants me home. Half way home my tire explodes! I pull into the park near me. Yep, it's the damn tire! The blessing in disguise is that I know Discount Tire is just two blocks down the road. I say, fuck it! And drive slow with my hazards on and make it. The guy tells me it will be a two hour wait. So I do what I always do, that I know is pathetic but works every time. I tell him how I'm a single mom. How I just left one client and still have another client to see tonight, and a daughter waiting for me at home. I was out of there in fifty minutes!!
Finally home...
I am grateful to be home. I am grateful my tire blew where and when it blew. I'm grateful to truly feel appreciated by my client who needed me. My day snowballed on me quickly. It started with the bad dream but ended good. My son, who now lives with his dad, picked up his sister. I was happily surprised to see him. I love them both so much! I'll do anything for them! Even when I'm tired of being strong all the time. They need me strong. They need to know what a strong woman looks like. Especially my daughter. So, I had another good cry after they left and bitched to my boyfriend about my day. I won't label this as a bad day. But I also don't want to repeat it!
