Turn Towards the Pain

Healing for the most part means grieving. You won’t get through this without grieving, my love. 

Disappointment is sacred, you see. You have to grieve out the past, the things you lost, the roads you could have taken. You have to grieve out your stolen childhood, those shattered dreams, a life you thought you were meant to live. You have to grieve out those missed opportunities, words and behaviours you regret, choices made or unmade that led you to where you are, or not. 

You have to grieve out the dream that it could have been any different, the lie that you believed in order to keep yourself going, or keep yourself safe, or keep you on the pathless path to where you find yourself now.

Let yourself be disappointed then! Turn towards the pain of “things not turning out the way I wanted them to”. This is the death of your ego, and it hurts like hell sometimes. You want to fight it, you want to run, you want to protest, but soften. Soften. Let it hurt today. Weep it out today. Scream it all out. The will of the Universe is much more powerful than your own individual will, my love. Fall to your knees and grieve, then. 

Not my will but Thy will. 

Not that, but this. 

This, here, now. 

Grief will return you to the ground, to reality, if you can soften into it, receive its blessing. 

In a pool of tears, the past integrated, you will begin your new life. 

- Jeff Foster