Moving Forward Deliberately with Love

I'm at a point in life where I’m content 

in the present. 

I don’t fantasize over the future. 

I’m not hung up on what could’ve been, 

what should’ve been, who hurt me, 

what I’m owed, what’s fair, unfair, right, wrong, or on any single thing I can’t go back 

and do differently. 

I’m doing differently now. 

I'm moving deliberately with love. 

Protecting and padding my peace. 

Forgiving quickly. Setting boundaries. 

Expressing gratitude freely. 

I’m closer to the person I envisioned myself becoming than ever before. 

I learned my lessons, 

and I grew from places 

I still can’t make sense of. 

This isn’t where I thought I’d be, 

but right here is where I am. 

I’m not reliving long nights, 

singing sad songs, commiserating over campfires that feel like purgatories. 

I’m not pretending to be someone I’ll never be, I’m accepting that the best of me is someone to be proud of and plenty already. 

I’m not begrudged, burdened, or looking over my shoulder. I’m not day dreaming. I’m not waiting. I’m not begging. I’m not pleading. 

I’m not wishing. 

I’m not forcing anything in or out of my life. 

I’m listening. I’m receiving. I’m wide open. 

The inside of my head and heart 

was once hellish. 

A neglected and abused place. 

But not anymore. It’s flourishing. 

Plush and succulent. 

Somewhere teeming with appreciation. Nothing toxic can survive here. 

Nothing limiting or critical thrives here. 

I’d give you my eyes 

and show you where to look, 

but the beauty I see 

exists within me.

J. Raymond 

"The Beauty I See" from 

The Kindred Project: Vol. II