A Mouthful of Regrets

when he left

he pulled

all my emotions from me

i wanted to say so much more

than i did say to him

i wanted him to stay

and never leave

so much i wanted from him

and so much regret left in me

not knowing

if i should of said more

or if i said too much 

to push him away

rejection sucks

whether it's presented

as a proper goodbye 

or as a silent retreat into the unknown 

and the one thing

you're left with is

a mouthful of regrets 

Gaze Up At the Stars

"And if you should ever find yourself feeling lonely, my dear,

let yourself gaze up at the night sky

at each of the stars

and remind yourself

that some other person

at some point in history, time or space

gazed up at the same stars

and felt exactly as you feel now

and you are connected in your heart space

with all who have ever felt the same way

at some point in their life:

lonely, lost, isolated, dissatisfied or unhappy

which is every person in existence.

And so in feeling lonely, 

you are connected to all of humanity

and no matter how alone you may feel,

you are never truly alone.

And as you gaze at the stars,

remind yourself that there are more of them that exist

than there are grains of sand on the Earth,

for the Universe is so incredibly vast and expansive

beyond our imagination

and yet, out of the trillions of stars and planets that exist,

you are here on this one, alive and breathing.

How could this be a random accident?

And so the biggest mistake 

you could ever make

is to believe 

that you are alone and unsupported, my dear.

 At this point in time, 

were you not meant to be here,

you would not be here.

And if you find yourself feeling unloved,

let the sun,

which provides you with its light

each day

without asking 

for anything in return 

remind you 

that you were loved enough

to be brought into existence

and supported each moment to live.

And remember that you are part of nature

and one with all

and so the capacity to love as the sun loves

exists within you

and exists within all.

And just as there are many planets and stars,

so too are there many people.

And so do not mistake another person’s inability to love you

for meaning that love does not exist.”

Words by Tahlia Hunter 

The Battlefield of the Mind

she dragged years behind her

struggling with loss

fighting off fatigue 

wanting to forge a new path

without so much baggage 

years of wars fought

grenades thrown at her

landmines placed strategically 

to obscure her path

some days no sleep

too much gunfire 

to close the eyes

oh, how this life

can suck every ounce of energy 

out of you

and leave you feeling dead

she left the past behind her 

and kept moving forward 

maybe one day

she'd find peace and rest

and a hole

to bury all her memories 

that haunted her

 

Embrace Each Step of the Path

 

"What is your secret to remaining calm?" she asked.

"I am a traveller of life.

I am here for only a short while,

for I am merely passing through.

I came into this life empty-handed

and I shall leave empty-handed 

and in every moment,

I trust that I have what I need 

and that what I need is enough.

I need not compare my path to others

for my purpose is not their purpose 

and my lessons are not their lessons;

all that is required of me 

is to be who I came here to be. 

I welcome change, 

knowing that all is impermanent 

and only that which is truly real will last.

In the storms of life, 

I find stillness within,

knowing that the temporary emotions I feel 

are merely visitors.

And I do not fear pain,

for I know that I will find relief 

and that pain is simply a messenger,

and so I welcome it with compassion,

asking it "What are you here to teach me?"

And I embrace each step of my path, 

knowing that within it lies the destination 

and in every step I take,

I am worthy of love.

And I affirm to myself daily,

"May my light shine 

upon those who are presently in darkness,

and may the world be a different place 

because I am in it." 

Words by Tahlia Hunter 

Skin Deep

she fills the room with presence

empty space disappears

when she walks into the room

all eyes are now on her

her beauty hangs transfixed

on the strangers' faces

she knows she's beautiful 

but how she wishes

someone, anyone

would see beyond the perfect figure and perfect hair

if anyone just peered into her eyes

they'd see a girl

that wants to be "seen"

the room she fills

is full of loneliness 

but no one sees it

they just see what they want to see

what is only skin deep

Life Lived Forward

A voice within me whispered,

“Your life will start 

to make a lot more sense, my dear,

once you learn to view it through the lens 

of where you are going 

rather than where you once were,

and of who you are becoming

rather than who you have once been.

For life is lived only forwards,

never backwards

and so long as you are committed to a path 

of growth, love and learning, 

a bright future awaits you 

beyond all that you could presently dream.”

Words by Tahlia Hunter 

Turn Towards the Pain

Healing for the most part means grieving. You won’t get through this without grieving, my love. 

Disappointment is sacred, you see. You have to grieve out the past, the things you lost, the roads you could have taken. You have to grieve out your stolen childhood, those shattered dreams, a life you thought you were meant to live. You have to grieve out those missed opportunities, words and behaviours you regret, choices made or unmade that led you to where you are, or not. 

You have to grieve out the dream that it could have been any different, the lie that you believed in order to keep yourself going, or keep yourself safe, or keep you on the pathless path to where you find yourself now.

Let yourself be disappointed then! Turn towards the pain of “things not turning out the way I wanted them to”. This is the death of your ego, and it hurts like hell sometimes. You want to fight it, you want to run, you want to protest, but soften. Soften. Let it hurt today. Weep it out today. Scream it all out. The will of the Universe is much more powerful than your own individual will, my love. Fall to your knees and grieve, then. 

Not my will but Thy will. 

Not that, but this. 

This, here, now. 

Grief will return you to the ground, to reality, if you can soften into it, receive its blessing. 

In a pool of tears, the past integrated, you will begin your new life. 

- Jeff Foster

I Wish I Could Love the War Out of You

I wish I could love the war out of you.

So you didn’t dance with fight or flight.

I wish I could go back to every moment

where you were wronged.

And somehow make it right.

I wish I could have fought  for you 

when you were 9,

because you deserved it.

Far before you were mine. 

I wish I could love the hate out of you. 

And replace it with my eyes.

So you could see how beautiful 

you are.

to me. 

I wish I could calm the storm 

that rages inside of you 

when you trip on triggers

and take it out on me. 

Because I don’t deserve that,

but I still love you. 

So I will endure it. 

Because it is not your fault 

that the chemicals in your brain 

try to trick you into 

sabotaging the good things. 

They grow arms to push me out.

They grow a mouth to say hurtful things.

They grow legs that run away. 

But I will walk behind you saying 

“Babe,

I just wish I could love the war out of you.

But instead I’ll fight it with you.

Because I love you.

And you deserve that too.”

You.

Deserve.

That too.

~ Ashley Rose 

Silence As A Weapon

His silence was a lie

Her resentment grew into a storm

Saying nothing was oppression 

in her mind

Secret fantasies of revenge

Played themselves out

in her imagination 

She believed

He had a moral obligation 

To speak up

Her life was poisoned

By his memory 

And the wish to destroy him

Nursed her fantasies 

As she pushed back against oppression 

Against a tyrant

That never had the balls 

To speak up

And tell her his truth

Lipstick

she painted over the rips

on her soul

and covered up the lies

under her lips

battle scars

that were visible 

disappeared 

under pink on her cheeks

appearances she easily altered

you would never know

the demons sitting on her chest

the bravery spread on her face

were letters that formed words

of a secret longing

that someone 

would come along

and see through her

making visible 

the words

she longs to speak

Freedom to Live Authentically

As a society, we have been taught that the social norm is to wear masks to hide our identity, play games with others' emotions, and have high expectations of our partners. Nagging or withholding love from our partners to get them to conform is a similar pattern as a parent/child relationship. Both partners play the game of perpetrator, victim, and enabler which restricts the growth and evolution of self in order to conform to the connection.  

The fragmented parts of self that have yet to merge will play out these archetypes in order to achieve resolution. Triggers bring up the slivers repressed through manipulation for power.  Ultimately, it’s a form of bullying when one attempts to mold their partner into someone they are not, in order to receive acceptance and love. 

An authentic, evolved relationship allows a safe space for partners to find conflict resolution and understanding. When we love our partner as an integral part of ourselves, we stop trying to dominate our relationships and allow our partner's a safe space for vulnerability, growth, and expression. 

We discover through presence that we are all looking for a balanced reflection of love through giving and receiving; as mutual respect is so important. 

We fall in love with the authentic essence of our partner's expression. The truest form of Love is to be given the freedom to live authentically as Soul’s design. Freedom and trust are the foundation for a healthy connection. 

Anything else is simply a game and a waste of energy. 

~©️Elayne Le Monde 

Get Out of Your Head

Get out of your head

   and into your heart.

You are not stuck.

You can never go back to the beginning.

Everything that has happened to you,

has,

   in fact,

      happened for a reason.

And maybe that reason hasn’t fully materialized yet.

Maybe the rejection was a gift

   that you’re still needing to open and accept.

Maybe the damage inflicted upon you

   was intended to test your will.

What have you learned?

What trauma have you experienced in life

that you’re still working through?

What part of your story is worth sharing,

 and why aren’t you shouting it more loudly?

Everything that you’ve survived,

has,

   in fact,

      given new meaning to life.

And maybe that meaning doesn’t make sense yet.

Maybe pain was the purpose all along.

Maybe where you are now

makes you perfectly positioned to live an even more beautiful

and significant life.

Do it.

Live it.

Shout it.

Share it.

The anchors are gone.

There’s not one thing slowing you down.

There’s nothing holding you back.

Get out of your head

   and into your heart.

You are not dead.

   You’re ready for the restart.

J. Raymond 

"Restart" from The Kindred Project: Vol. I

 

Relating to the Opposite Sex

“Forget relationships and learn how to relate. Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted – that’s what destroys all love affairs. 

The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful. To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. 

The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don’t take it for granted. And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. 

That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That’s what I mean by relating.” 

~ Osho

Life Will Force You to Change

Life will force you to change 

In order to survive

Pain Is a calling

A calling to move

To do something 

Be something 

Stand up

Don't bow down

Pain

Forces you

To reach within

And find the warrior 

Forces you 

To make changes

Toxic relationships must go

Unloving thoughts towards yourself must end

You being your own worst enemy 

No more

Time to take charge of your life

Own your feelings

And your past

No need to cry over regrets

There will be plenty of opportunities 

To make more

But that's the beauty

Being able to make them

There's freedom in choices

Don't take it for granted

Not everyone in this God forsaken world

Has that freedom

But I'm reminding you

That you, my friend, do

 

Moving Forward Deliberately with Love

I'm at a point in life where I’m content 

in the present. 

I don’t fantasize over the future. 

I’m not hung up on what could’ve been, 

what should’ve been, who hurt me, 

what I’m owed, what’s fair, unfair, right, wrong, or on any single thing I can’t go back 

and do differently. 

I’m doing differently now. 

I'm moving deliberately with love. 

Protecting and padding my peace. 

Forgiving quickly. Setting boundaries. 

Expressing gratitude freely. 

I’m closer to the person I envisioned myself becoming than ever before. 

I learned my lessons, 

and I grew from places 

I still can’t make sense of. 

This isn’t where I thought I’d be, 

but right here is where I am. 

I’m not reliving long nights, 

singing sad songs, commiserating over campfires that feel like purgatories. 

I’m not pretending to be someone I’ll never be, I’m accepting that the best of me is someone to be proud of and plenty already. 

I’m not begrudged, burdened, or looking over my shoulder. I’m not day dreaming. I’m not waiting. I’m not begging. I’m not pleading. 

I’m not wishing. 

I’m not forcing anything in or out of my life. 

I’m listening. I’m receiving. I’m wide open. 

The inside of my head and heart 

was once hellish. 

A neglected and abused place. 

But not anymore. It’s flourishing. 

Plush and succulent. 

Somewhere teeming with appreciation. Nothing toxic can survive here. 

Nothing limiting or critical thrives here. 

I’d give you my eyes 

and show you where to look, 

but the beauty I see 

exists within me.

J. Raymond 

"The Beauty I See" from 

The Kindred Project: Vol. II

Everything is Spiritual

We were told we would see America come and go. In a sense, America dies from the inside out, because they have forgotten the instructions to live on Mother Earth. This is the Hopi creed, it is our creed, that if you are not spiritually connected to the Earth, and you don't understand the spiritual reality of life on Earth, chances are you are not going to make it.

Everything is spiritual, everything has one

Spirit.

We are here on Earth only a few winters, then we go to the spirit world. The spirit world is more real than most of us realize.

The spirit world is everything. Most of our body is water. To stay healthy you need to drink pure water. Water is sacred, air is sacred. Our DNA is made from the same DNA as the tree, the tree breathes what we breathe out, we need what the tree expires. So we have a common fate with the tree. We are all of the Earth, and when the Earth and its water and atmosphere are corrupted, then the Earth will create her reaction. The Mother reacts.

In the Hopi prophecy it says that storms and floods will get bigger.

For me it is not negative to know that there will be big changes. It's not negative, it's evolution. When you look at it as an Evolution, you know it's time, nothing stays the same. You should learn to plant something. This is the first connection. You should look at all things as Spirit, realize that we are family. It never ends. Everything is life and there is no end to life

- Facebook Page, Native American Blood

Leaving the Everlasting Storm of You

I knew I had to close this chapter, when I realized that me having a good or bad day was determined by your mood. That the peace I was chasing could never come, as long as I stayed in the vicious cycle of trying to soften everything around you, so that when you flew off the handle, all the sharp edges had somewhere to land. I spent so much time bracing myself against your volatile ways, hoping to bring some calm to a chaos that didn’t even belong to me. And the price I paid for that was high.  It was me. It cost me myself. I lost myself from running behind you for so long, trying to shield you from everything I knew would pull the pin from the grenade of you. I’m done. I have to be done if I ever want peace for myself. I have to be done to save myself. Finally done taking cover, no longer trying to fight a battle that’s not mine to win or lose. I didn’t sign up for war, but somehow, in my search for peace, I walked straight onto the battle ground of you and suited up, like a good soldier does. The burden and the backlash weigh the same, both too heavy for me to carry and still make it out in one piece. I’m leaving this war, this ever lasting storm of you that has taken so much from me. I’m off to search for peace. I hope you find it one day for yourself. I need a quiet road, one that doesn’t require me to brace for the impact of when the sky may fall out into a storm I knew was coming.  

I need to be free. I need to be me again, and find out exactly who that is without you.  

-Stephanie Bennett-Henry 

The Part of You Untouched

some of us

have lived in a horror show

so much hurt

in places

that are deep

and no human

can reach 

the pain is always there

reminding you

of how the sting reappears

and resurfaces 

coming and going

with intermittent numbing

it stays quiet

and awakes when triggered 

but there's that secret place

in your mind

where nothing else exists 

and music plays

the pain disappears momentarily 

and the part of you untouched

is always here hiding 

in the secret place

You Deserve a Great Love

 I can see how your tired soul aches, heavy with the weight of a thousand lonely lifetimes. 

You yearn for a love that calls to the fabric of your very being, to the truest parts of yourself. 

You wonder sometimes whether real love exists as you sift through threads of the past and let go of old expectations, ancient memories and hearts that were never meant to be yours. 

You wonder what love could be meant for you when you have walked so many roads that led to tangled ends. You question your worthiness, your heart and the depths of your soul.

Sweet one, no matter how dark the day or what shadows of the past that rise, never doubt your deserving of a love that will actively choose your magic each day and dance in your rains each night. 

You have a soul deep love that pounds in your chest; never silence the roar of your thunder for anyone.

You have walked your path bravely and spent many dark nights sitting with your shadows present to the lessons that they bring. 

Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, you have transformed and evolved. 

Yours is not a love that should be compressed and confined to the shallows. 

Yours is a love that should soar cloud high on freedom’s light wing. 

Yours is a love so luminous, so penetrating and so searing you should never settle for anything less than arms open fully to your flames.

You deserve a love so deep that is can safely hold space for all the fantasies you have ever dreamed and a heart wild enough to fulfill each one. 

You deserve conscious action, deliberate intention and a passion that burns hotter than the Sun. 

No half-love partially dipping a toe at the shores of your spirit will sustain you.

Dear one, you deserve a great love, one who knows what they have when they have you; one that will not hide behind masks or play games. 

Someone whose actions match their words. 

A love that is befitting the fierce warrior that breathes in your chest.

No one needs to fight your battles for you as you are strong as nails and burn brighter than dragon fire. 

You know that you are the heroine in your own life and that we each must save ourselves. 

You deserve one who stands beside you as you fight your battles and celebrates your victories.

Wild one, you need someone to run with. 

You need someone as feral as you not someone to tame you or imprison you in a box of outdated rules and ill-fitting ideals. 

You are carved of storm and wildfire; nothing but broken open truth will sustain you.

Dear one, you deserve someone you can lay your parched soul upon, and rest upon that sacred soil. 

A pilgrim of love on a voyage of discovery to worship at your temple and offer blessings to the altar of your heart, as you do theirs.

Never sacrifice your precious heart for anything less.

Author~Ara Campbell

Half a Heart

She walks with wounds

that will not heal

A heart

Broken

Torn into two

Her lover keeps half

The other half

Barely beating

As she walks forward 

Towards the rising moon

In hopes that one day

Her heart will mend

And the night

Left undone

Will emerge anew

Never Force a Relationship

Never force a relationship.

Sometimes it's better to move on, than to hold on to a person who doesn't understand who you truly are. Unfortunately there will be times where your absence will teach you what your presence cannot.

You need to stop breaking your own heart in trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work to begin with. 

You can't force someone to genuinely care about you. 

You can't force someone to be faithful to you.

You can't force someone to be the person you need

them to be.

The truth is, sometimes the person you want the most is the same person you would be best without.

You have got to understand some things are meant to come into your life, just not meant to stay.

Everything that you do to show love, you have to be

careful, not to lose yourself by trying to fix what should never been there in the first place. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who's not ready to reciprocate the love you give to them.

I know it's hard when you meet someone and your heart feels, that's the person you could spend an eternity with, and you start to accept that they are not that person you thought they needed to be.

And no matter how many times you cry yourself to sleep at night, you will eventually heal from your previous relationship and find the one you have always longed for. Your future will now bring an understanding of why things didn't work out in your previous relationships.

One thing I have learned throughout the years, is “It is better to be single than to be in a relationship settling for less.”

If they see you as an option, then they don't deserve to be a priority in your life.

Take my advice and never chase someone who's not chasing you.

~ Cody Bret

Pain Reminds Me I Am Alive

On my hardest days

Instead of ignoring my pain

I find my strength 

In the most uncommon way

I sit with the discomfort of pain

Sometimes for hours in my bed

Sometimes listening to an old Art Bell show

Sometimes reading or listening to music

It's not just one single thing that works

To snap me out of it

But just allowing myself to nurture my needs 

More often than not

I'm emotionally overloaded 

Not because I'm fragile

But because I'm an empath

Aware of the collective consciousness 

Aware of the connections of all things

My soul reminds me

How intertwined I am

To everyone and everything 

My pain reminds me

Of just how much

I am alive 

Fuck it! Nothing is of Real Value

One might think

It's devastating to lose everything 

But there is freedom

In losing everything you own

There's a fearlessness 

That surfaces 

And takes control

The world

Is less scary 

The bullys

In your life

Mean nothing to you

It's like there's a new awareness 

Of how impermanent 

Life really is

And your new attitude is

Fuck it

Because nothing is of real value

That can be taken away

Nothing

Except the love you have

And the integrity 

That measures the quality 

Of the life

You leave behind

 

Grief is a Mountain

Grief is one of the biggest mountains you’ll ever have to climb.

Not least, because it’s one that you absolutely won’t want to.

And people may talk of ‘getting over it’.

But the truth is,

I don’t think we ever do.

And that’s not to say that we don’t end up on the other side of the mountain. I’m not saying that we’re stuck in one place forever. 

But, rather than getting over it…

Perhaps we find a cave we can walk through which brings us out on the other side. It may be dark and dim and difficult, but we make it through into the light.

Perhaps we find a path around the mountain that leads to the other side. It may take a long time and it might be unsteady and precarious, but we make it round.

Or perhaps we just slowly edge our way past. A little up, a little through, a little round. Step by step.

No, I don’t think we get over it. It is too big, too overwhelming.

Too insurmountable.

So instead we get through it.

Round it.

Or quite possibly, 

we just get by.

~ Becky Hemsley 2022

Loneliness is the Doorway

Loneliness is the doorway to unspecified desire. In the bodily pain of aloneness is the first step to understanding how far we are from a real friendship, from a proper work or a long sought love. 

Loneliness can be a prison, a place from which we look out at a world we cannot inhabit; loneliness can be a bodily ache and a penance, but loneliness fully inhabited also becomes the voice that asks and calls for that great, unknown someone or something else we want to call our own. 

Loneliness is the very state that births the courage to continue calling, and when fully lived can undergo its own beautiful reversal, becoming in its consummation, the far horizon that answers back.

In the grand scale of things, loneliness is a privilege. Human beings may have the ability to feel aloneness as no other creature can; with a power magnified by intelligence and imagination. Animals may feel alone in an instinctual way, moving naturally and affectionately toward others of their kind, but human beings may be the only beings that can articulate, imagine or call for a specific life they feel they might be missing.

Loneliness is the substrate and foundation of belonging, the gravitational field that draws us home and in the beautiful essence of its isolation, the hand reaching out for togetherness. To allow ourselves to feel fully alone is to allow ourselves to understand the particular nature of our solitary incarnation, to make aloneness a friend is to apprentice ourselves to the foundation from which we make our invitation to others. 

To feel alone is to face the truth of our irremediable and unutterable singularity, but a singularity that can kiss, create a conversation, make a vow or forge a shared life. In the world or community, this essential singularity joins with others through vision, intellect and ideas to make a society. 

Loneliness is not a concept, it is the physical body almost constellating: attempting to become proximate and even join with other bodies, through physical touch, through conversation or the mediation of the intellect and the imagination. 

Loneliness is the place from which we pay real attention to voices other than our own; where being alone allows us to appreciate fully, the healing power of an other. The shortest line in the briefest e-mail can heal, embolden, welcome home and enliven the most isolated identity. 

Human beings are made to belong. Loneliness is the single malt taste of the very essentiality that makes conscious belonging possible. The doorway is closer than we think. I feel alone; therefore I belong.

‘LONELINESS’ From 

CONSOLATIONS: 

The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words. Revised Edition. 

© David Whyte & Many Rivers Press

When You Are Finished Falling Apart

Beautiful girl, when you are finished falling, after you hit rock bottom and watch yourself come apart into a million pieces, no one is staying to help you collect yourself, no one is sticking around to pick through your pieces to decide which parts of you are worth keeping. That’s for you to decide. So stay down for as long as you need to. This is the most important part. Take your time. Pay attention. You already broke. So the easy part is over. Go slow....I know, you thought the breaking was the most painful chapter. It wasn’t. Turn the page. The next part is much longer. It’s the healing. The rise. The comeback. It’s the birth of the new you. And it’s not easy. But you are strong and brave and worth it. You’ll have to leave a lot of yourself behind, you’ll have to let go of all the parts of you that you’ve outgrown. We’re not making ourselves small anymore. We’re not bending to fit where we don’t belong anymore. Do you hear me? We’re going all in. Count your wounds, every scar ripped open, every drop of blood you bled like a promise, every tear you cried like a bet in the name of crossing your whole heart, your whole soul, was all for this moment. Right here. Right now. You had to hurt like that to get here to this version of you who knows exactly who she is, who she’s not, who she will never be again. Drop the apologies, babe. We’re not sorry anymore for who we are, we’re not sorry for what we had to do to get here, and we’re not sorry for the time it took to learn our worth. Step out of the box of all you were supposed to be, according to everyone who wasn’t you, and walk into the you, who’s comfortable in her own skin. It’s time. You earned it. 

We no longer wear the expectations of anyone else and we no longer let anyone else decide what we’re worth. Because we know now. We finally know. And now it’s time to celebrate it. Get up, babe. It does not hurt anymore. Now go show YOU what you’re made of. 

~ Stephanie Bennett-Henry 

Push Through

I probably don't give myself enough credit for overcoming the things I have.

It has become so engrained in me to push through life.

As a single mom, there are always things that need done and preparation for the next day..

I do my best to relax and unwind..

Turn off the constant go, go, go mode.

It's not easy though.

I constantly worry.

I constantly feel I am not doing enough..

That there's always more to do.

But I do stop and take notice how I love myself more and admire the woman I have become.

There are growing pains in life that can not be avoided.

There are things that happen to us outside of our control.

But I choose to believe I can overcome whatever life throws at me and not to see myself as a victim.

Life is hard with no easy fixes.

All I can do is do my best everyday and push on through the tough ones. 

Love All Your Flaws

Love your wounds - they reveal what matters most to you, what your deepest soul longing is and what you came to heal in the collective. That is why we chose to incarnate into the families and situations we did, so that we could experience that affliction, and take it on as our own and then rise above it for All...

Love your so-called flaws, they are spiritual jewels that mark our journey and reveal where we let go of the physical to embrace the spiritual fully. It connects us to the deeper soul journey ~ wisdom, maturity, depth and transcendence. We are programmed to see them as flaws, when they are an initiation into the deeper mysteries.

Love your dysfunctions and the things that cause you to lose friends, successes or throw you into life lessons. They help us to find humor, liberation and our inner child and releases us from caring so much about what others think and allows us to find a deeper love of self and rise above the judgements of others.

Love your pain, It teaches forgiveness, tolerance, patience and it gives us the humility we need to unite together in higher consciousness and integrity... It shows us our healing power and how to transform, face our demons and get real with who we truly are and what we need to share and express.

Love your insecurities, they are a part of our genius and higher aspects of self that have just been shut down or unsupported. They show us our gifts and creativity and help us to let go, take risks and be comfortable in our own skin with our own boundaries and standards.

Love your Ego/identity when in crisis, let it be a compass pointed at your higher self, so that all actions, words, decisions and behaviors, reflect the nature of your divine blueprint. It shows us how to remove masks, programmings and ancestral patterns. It teaches us where we abuse free-will and reminds us of how to be authentic, powerful, influential and an example...

Love and honor these things in self and each other and focus on where it can take you and what it truly means, instead of how it makes one look and how it seems. When we see Truth, we see perfection in all things and we know how to find our way home...

~The Return of the Divine Feminine

The Fucked Up Truth About Being a Twin Flame

Most people that experience the twin flame phenomena have never heard about it before it storms into their life. 

Those wishing for it may want to be careful what they wish for.  

It’s like discovering magic and then losing the wand.  

It is your soul ripping you open, laying out every piece of you that you had hoped to never see again, and saying clean up this mess. 

When you have, it rips you open again and says not good enough, do it again.  

It’s love, confusion, heartbreak, and soul aching beauty to the sound of a thousand tears.  

There’s a silent unimaginable connection that will convince you that you’re crazy, synchronicities that appear in such real yet unexplainable ways that you know you’re not crazy.  

Unavoidable perfectly imperfect magnetic energy that will defy any logical reason you may have for not wanting to be with them.

Its lust on crack, and hold the orgasm because their presence is a continual spiritual orgasm aka newly awakened kundalini energy in force - a twin flame always produces a profound awakening.

And they aren’t even a god although for a while you may think they are, they are just this other perfectly imperfect human that may have no idea of the deeper connection, perhaps someone who spends all of five minutes in your life somehow managing to turn it completely upside down, and inside out without actually doing anything much at all before their first disappearing act.   

On the days that you can see all the beauty in the experience and connection you love them.

On the days you can barely look in the mirror and wish you’d never laid eyes on them, you love them.  

How something so beautiful can destroy you, yet somehow create you at the same time, I’m not sure but I imagine that’s the true power of love, its ability to live in everything.  

And you will see the only direction you ever had to look was in yourself.

That’s what it’s for, your awakening to your true self.

The opening of your heart to all that is.

Stop looking out, and start looking in.

Clear up the spaces you swore you would never return to.

Look within, and love who you find.

This is the journey home to you.

~Trudi Jane Poetry, Prose, and Ponderings

You’ll Never Be Happy With Just Half a Love

There was no doubt

She loved him

Her heart torn

Between loving a man

That was present for her

And a man

She met years ago

That reminded her

Of soul love

He was still on her mind

The heart has a hard time 

Of letting go

She did her best 

Not to dwell on the past

So she could

Build a future

With a man

That wanted to love her

And give her everything 

She ever needed or wanted

All she had to do

Was accept

His offer

But the choice

Wasn't that simple

Her heart whispering 

"You'll never be happy with just half a love"

By Midlife

  “By midlife, we're usually aware enough to understand which of our issues most need attention.

We've learned where we're strong, but also where we're weak. 

We know what parts of ourselves to be proud of and what parts of ourselves should change. 

We know what our issues are. It might not be a time when we're learning new things about ourselves so much as understanding more deeply what we already know.

This is not the time to stop working on ourselves; it's the time when we've finally accumulated enough clues to help crack the case and solve the myself why and how we've kept ourselves bound for so long.

Its not the time to give up and say, 'this is who I am, its too late to change.' Quite the opposite- its time to take a stand, once and for all, for your own potential. 

Don't worry that it took you so long to get to this point. It takes everyone this long. 

We know nothing until we know all the ways that we're not who we should be. 

Only then do we have a chance at becoming the people we've wanted to be... from the day we were born.

And for that reason alone, these are sacred years.”

― Marianne Williamson, The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife

Attention in Relationships

There is something that can change your relationship, deeply, simply, powerfully.

It can enhance the intimacy and connection you feel.

It can open doors to a heightened expression of love.

And it can be a way to awareness, in all of life.

Attention.

One word.

Attention.

Attention is presence, attention is awareness.

Attention is the space where intimacy flourishes and flows.

Attention is the space where we feel seen, loved, heard, acknowledged.

Attention brings us into our bodies, into our hearts.

Attention is the opening to possibility in the moment.

Attention is what we give to our lovers, out of the openness of our hearts.

Attention is the desire to love, to express love, to show love in so many ways. 

Attention is us seeing, with an inner vision, seeing with our soul, love.

Over time, attention is an element of intimacy that becomes the substance of a lasting relationship, of fulfilment, of joy, of sharing.

It’s where we see and are seen.

Hear and heard, feel and are felt.

And when I give my attention to you, there is love.

There is an intention with this.

The intention begins with a question, what kind of relationship would you like to have?

How important is your relationship, how important is your lover?

How important is it to be conscious, to be aware, in your relationship?

How can your relationship be a path to presence?

How can your relationship bring you from patterning, from conditioning, from expectation to the freedom of the moment?

How can your relationship be a space of healing?

How can your relationship be a path of growth?

Attention.

Giving your attention to the moment, to your lover, in the moment.

Brings you into attention, into yourself.

Attention is time, not things.

Attention is intimacy in action, expressed in words, gestures, touch, listening, pleasure.

It’s often small things, not exclusively.  

And it is so linked to arousal.

Attention says that I desire you.

And the arousal grows from attention, simply, deeply.

In the space of attention, it’s always there. It might be low at times, a fire that’s quietened to embers, and as you breathe on it, it comes to flame.

Attention.

Simple, so much in it.

A world of intimacy, of awareness.

Of possibility.

Of love.

~Jonti Searll