The Love You Desire

you crave for a love
that loves you back
that understands 
and gets you
a love that doesn't bolt
for the door
because he can't handle
your darkness 
you crave for a love 
that offers a match 
to give you light

TraTak Meditation: A Foundation for Developing Concentration

One of the most ancient formal meditative methods that can transform our inner self is called Tratak. It includes:

1. Developing the ability to focus your attention where you wish, when you wish.

2. Developing the ability to know what your attention is doing at any given moment.

3. Noticing, moment by moment, what is occurring in you and around you. (This is called witnessing or witness consciousness in yogic traditions and mindfulness in Buddhist traditions.)

Reference~ Awakening the Chakras, The Seven Energy Centers in Your Daily Life by Victor Daniels

Drowning

the space 
in my soul  
has filled up  
with water 
from my tears 
my grief  
to heavy to carry   
on my back  
now floats  
on an ocean  
inside of me

The Warrior You Have to Be

you never thought you'd be changing your locks to protect yourself from your own husband. you never imagined it would come down to him hating you. you never saw the day when you'd have to get an Order of Protection against him. you never thought he'd want to hurt you. all the years you invested in him seem to be a complete waste, because you thought he loved you. and now with him walking away, you thought you'd be free. but for you it only got worse. now you hope for the day you can lay down your sword and shield. but for now your thoughts are on only surviving your hell.

The Evening Hate

Death enters softly and whispers in my ear,

"Don't you know Darling your end in near?

I have come to take you to the land of Shadow and Doubt.

Come take my hand and I'll be your guide now.

This evening is filled with relentless hate.

It makes the air so thick you will suffocate.

Come now Darling One follow my lead.

I'll show you wonders your eyes have never seen. There are things that will leave you with such a fright.

You will sink deeper into despair on this night.

I have come Darling to dine with your soul.

I have come Darling to take you where all the hopeless ones go.

This evening is filled with a cruel fate.

This evening, Darling, is a quiet hate.

It rises up on the backs of those fallen into despair.

It drags the soul down and binds you in a snare. Come now Darling there's nothing to fear.

The evening is waiting for me to take you there."

A Bad Habit

today I thought of you,
just like the day before and
the day before that
I wept for you
but everyday I weep for you
I tell myself
he will call, he will write, he will drop-in
and of course
you never do
I get angry
and curse you
then I get sad
and miss you
and this cycle starts all over again

I wish I could explain
to my heart
that loving a man
that doesn't love you back
is no good, just move on 
because if he did love you
he would of told you by now

A Letter to Anyone Who's Lost Me

  

   I apologize that you didn't see my self-worth, my hidden jewel. I tried my best to tell you that my body is a temple. I even had my spiritual state tattooed on my body. I tried to get you to see the ethereal skies behind my eyes. I tried to teach you there is no such thing as death. I tried to demonstrate how devotion to God is the most important thing. I tried to illustrate how beautiful suffering can be through my writing and how it's transformed me.

   But you were too busy. Yes, you were too busy to see that what God has revealed to my spirit is behind my eyes, buried in my heart. You never saw the glow of my spirit because you were too busy with gossip, work, or diluting yourself in another temporary escape.

  So, I apologize for not wanting to drink alcohol or smoke a joint with you in order for you to feel more comfortable in your own skin. I know I made you uncomfortable. But you should ask yourself why. Why did you prefer small talk when I had so much wisdom to offer you?

   And you will miss me- my honesty, my light. For I shoulder integrity and a love that bears all grievances. I am the kind of woman that is loyal and kind until the end of days. And when the end of your days does come you will think of me and what I stood for will become clear to you. And you will ask yourself, how will my life be remembered?

   The deeper you live, the more you will suffer. But it is through suffering that we birth compassion and a willingness to bear each other's grievances.

All of my affection,

Madison Michelle