Not Your Friend

the devilish smile
behind your cracked lips
reveals there are thorns
in your mouth
and a loaded gun
in your hand
but sweetheart, you forget
that my loaded gun
is my pen
and if you wanted
me to write nice
things about you
you should of behaved better

Haven't Seen You In So Long

i'm starting
to forget
what you look like
this troubles me
because it feels
like i'm forgetting
myself

Another Man's Treasure

she was your light
in your darkness
the wholeness
in your brokenness
but you threw her away
like a piece of trash
someone will come
along and marvel
at what you 
threw away
and think to
himself how
he's found a treasure

My Dream of UFO: We're Not Alone

 From Journal Entry: 3/27/18

   I am standing outside with a group of people. Some of them I know. It is clear and sunny. A friend of mine points to something in the sky and says, "Do you see that?"
   I look and see an object that blends into the sky, except it's moving. It's like it is translucent but clearly it is a craft. I think wow we're really not alone. I look again, and this time I know what I'm looking for and am able to see several of these crafts in the sky. As those around me became aware of them, they became aware of us. A tinge of fear came over me; not knowing their intentions.

   If I was going to interpret this dream according to it's personal meaning for me, I would say that the UFO represents my creative mind and my spiritual journey into self-awareness. But I feel this dream is more than symbolic. I have seen UFOs in the past. I also believe we are not alone.  Interestingly enough, after I had this dream, there were two cases that I happened to listen to on Youtube that week. One is a negative encounter, and the other a very positive one.

   The Stardust Ranch

   The Stardust Ranch is outside of Phoenix, Arizona in the Rainbow Valley. A man named John Edmunds that lives on the property,  claims he has physical proof of the Greys. On the day he moved in, all the furniture from in the house was stacked in the swimming pool. Then a strange man came on the property saying he lived there and kept the monsters away. John soon after moving in, started seeing lights in the back of his property. They were triangle shaped and huge. His story gets really bizarre and takes a dark turn. The Greys end up in his bedroom repeatedly. It is worth listening to his story, if only for entertainment purposes.

 https://youtu.be/PCxv5aaSI6


   Energy Healing Gift from the Aliens

   A man named Matthew Ryan from Taos, New Mexico had an encounter with a UFO while on a hike in the mountains. He lost time while out in the middle of nowhere. Later during regression therapy, he unlocked the memory from the missing time that day. Matthew says he received a energy download and that his DNA was activated. He says, "Everything has a unique frequency signature and many of the star beings have the ability to dial into these frequency signatures."  

He was gifted with healing abilities. He remarks that the beings on the craft were from the Alpha Centauri Star System. Matthew sounded very convincing and seemed like just a normal guy that happened to have an amazing, extraordinary experience that changed his life.

https://youtu.be/rcEFhhMN2Ng
   

Future Self

i don't want this
period in my life
to be labeled
Bad Divorce
i have yet
to meet
my future self
and see what her
reaction is to it 

I Wish I Could Forget

i wish i could forget how you told me you loved me everyday. i wish i could forget how you would hold my hand in crowds because you knew they caused me anxiety. i wish i could forget the thoughtful concern you expressed during my pregnancies. i wish i could forget how every day you made me laugh. i wish i could forget how you told me you'd love me forever. i wish i could forget how you broke my heart. i wish i could forget how it felt to be your best friend. out of all the painful memories i have of you, i will carve out the fearless woman you now have forced me to be.

Out In The Open

he wants me to go quietly. don't say a word about our marriage. don't share with others what went on behind closed doors. i feel no shame, but maybe he does.

Great Divorce Quotes

~ I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year.   Edna St. Vincent Millay

~ It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.  Thomas Paine

~ Bushwhacked, I examine my hands. Same hands. Rings still there but no longer valid.   Suzanne Finnamore

~ They feel life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever decide to have my soul surgically removed.  Suzanne Finnamore

~ "God is great and God is good." Lisa says.  But where are the Apache attack helicopters when you need them?   Suzanne Finnamore

~ When would he realize that it wasn't his infidelity I couldn't bear, but his cowardice?   Tatiana de Rosnay

~ It was hard for them to accuse their wives of infidelity when their rival was an invisible man.  Diane Wakoski

~ Marriage brings together not just a man and his wife but their children and their struggles. To suddenly drop the partner who has carried the load with you along life's journey, for all these years for someone with no strings or worries attached is cruel. Marriage is not a commercial enterprise in which you replace a car you have tired of with another one.  Ravi Zacharias