Be the Steady Hand

Ernest Hemingway once said: In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much.

Please don’t try to fix me. Don’t take on my pain or push away my shadows. Just sit beside me as I work through my own inner storms. Be the steady hand I can reach for as I find my way.

My pain is mine to carry, my battles mine to face. But your presence reminds me I’m not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It’s a quiet reminder that I am worthy of love, even when I feel broken.

So, in those dark hours when I lose my way, will you just be here? Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold my hand until the dawn arrives, helping me remember my strength.

Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps me remember who I am, even when I forget.

It’s the Feminine That Leads a Relationship

 It’s the feminine that actually leads a relationship

(in the subtle)...

For anyone who has touched the polarity world

You’d know

That the masculine leads.

That’s what they tell you right

It’s up to the man to lead

To take charge

To have direction

And for the feminine

For the woman…

She is in an unending state of surrender.

Just simply waiting for him to know

Exactly where they need to go.

I think whoever came up with this teaching doesn’t really know much about women at all.

It paints a sexy picture...

The sweet receptive feminine

And the brash confident masculine

With their incredible electric polarity

The stuff of movies

And our wildest erotic fantasies

Like all archetypal stories… it’s a myth

It’s an ideal that can teach us something

But it’s not really real.

Anyone who tries to live this to the letter

Is in for an unpleasant surprise

Because that’s not how relationships actually work...

Most women aren’t just waiting around

Trusting him to know everything

Offering up every bit of their own authority

And outsourcing it to him

Most men don’t want to lead everything all the time

Constantly guessing and anticipating

His life not much more than an attempt to mind-read

And meet her endless needs

Feel the dysfunction in that

Feel the contortion in it

It’s not healthy.

There is a deeper truth to be found…

We need to explore some ancient wisdom to make sense of what really happens between us

The Yin-Yang

This symbol has persisted for so long

Because it has so much to teach

Inside the Yin is a core of Yang

Inside the Yang is a core of Yin

Interesting that.

Leading and following is not one-dimensional

It is multi-dimensional

Understanding this, changes everything...

In the subtle… the realms of the non-verbal

The non-linear. The non-rational

The quantum oracular nature of the feminine shines

This is where she knows, through her sensing

What needs to happen next...

This is her Yang

Yet in the subtle she leads this gracefully

through invitations

The better she invites

And inspires

The more he will be able to receive her sensing and turn it into experiences for them.

That little glance up to meet his eyes for just a second

An Invitation.

“Where would you like to go for dinner?” he asks.

“I don’t know… maybe somewhere romantic and cosy”

An Invitation.

“I read this post on tantric intimacy the other day, it’s fascinating, can I share it with you?”

An Invitation.

The arch of her body straining for his lips or his touch

An invitation.

Always an invitation to journey somewhere

Experience something

Go deeper

His position is to lead in the concrete.

He hears her invitation and picks up the phone and makes the reservation to just the right restaurant that will give that vibe to enhance the mood she is sensing.

He sees her glance and mustering his confidence strides across the room to introduce himself.

He finds the post she is referring to, then reads more… finally booking them into a weekend workshop recognising that this invitation is going to make things so much yummier between them.

He reaches out to touch or kiss her right there, at the right time, in the right way...

His Yin core is Attunement.

Deep listening.

Her Yang core is Invitation.

We are multi-dimensional beings

Dancing with each other in synergy

Across layers of time and space

The better we get at this dance

The more profound the intimacy we experience.

Doubt the one-dimensional polarity teachings

Because they are limiting

And will never take you where you know you can go.

Because you are so so so much vaster than that…

~ Damien Bohler

What Every Women Should Understand

 

1. Your biggest enemy is yourself. That enemy is the one who makes you overthink, develop a low self-esteem, make you emotionally unstable and give you headache. Love yourself from the inside first before you expect love from the outside.

2. You are not in a relationship with a man until you both clearly state it.  Don't get carried away by the idea of love with a man simply because he spends time with you or treats you special.

3. If you are in a relationship or marriage, demanding your man to spend time with you will not make him do so.  A man willingly spends time with you because you give him peace and he enjoys your company. Attract him the same way you peacefully and warmly attracted him when he was pursuing you.

4. Mr.  Right is the man who offers a conducive environment for you to be the best you. Choose your environment well.

5. Your husband will never find you if you keep fooling around with other women's husbands.

6. Mr.  Right can also hurt you. The difference is that Mr.  Right hurts when he hurts you, he apologises, owns up to his short comings and makes effort to love you better. Love is a learning process.

7. Silent treatment will not solve anything. If your man hurts you, learn to speak your hurt and teach him to love you better. The best couples have mastered the art of conflict resolution.

8. Most men don't mind being corrected. What they do mind is the tone with which you correct them. The world has been harsh towards women for years, but tone down your defensive mode and learn to communicate effectively with respect and love. You two don't have to fight and argue to look like you are addressing issues.

9. A man who is not serious about you will avoid accountability, will operate in grey areas and will hide you. You will never go far with him. Serious men like being kept accountable, they take pride in what they commit to and are not afraid of responsibilities.

10. Getting pregnant for a man will not make him serious about you. Men are serious about a woman because they have a personal vision that includes her.

11. If you are not a woman who knows herself, relationships and marriages will bring you drama. Your self awareness is your personal responsibility.

12. If you do know yourself and you get married to a man who doesn't know himself, he will frustrate you. Be careful in him being lost he doesn't make you lose you. When marriages go bad, the repurcations are heaviest on the woman.

13. Just because you have a relationship with God or you marry someone who has a relationship with God does not mean your marriage will work. You two have to learn to relate with each other, not just with God.

14. There are good men in this world, just like there are good women in this world. You will not encounter those good men if you keep entertaining the wrong ones and frequenting where the wrong ones dwell.

15. During dating, if you want to see the calibre of man you are getting to know, put off sex and see if he will stay, if he is interested for more than just sex. Be careful, some men will tell you all kinds of promises to get you to bed. They are just curious about how sexing you feels like, not interested to grow with you. Once they sex you, the curiosity goes, especially after you get pregnant. 

16. Relationships/marriages don't always end or struggle because of the man, sometimes you are the problem. Learn to be honest and objective to see your wrong. If you two work together, your love will grow stronger.

17. An insecure man will fight everything that is good about you; from your success, your career, your beauty, your personality, your education and he will blame you for his own issues. He is the problem, not you.  Don't dim your light for a man whose identity is in darkness.

18. If you have a good man, don't exaggerate the wrong he has done today to the point that you forget how good he has been to you. Don't make him feel unappreciated because he didn't do as you wanted him to today. Keep your perspective and don't overreact.

19. Don't be that woman who has been so damaged by wrong men that when the good man comes along you push him away.

20. Before you go and share your issues with your man to your friends, share them with him.  The solution lies between you two. If he is stubborn or you two still disagree, then share with someone he can be accountable to, like a true friend or a counsellor, if it gets worse, involve both your parents.

21. Disagreement or a bad day in your relationship or marriage doesn't mean it is breaking apart. Keep calm. Don't panic.

22. No matter how much your husband loves you, he might not see your dreams or even support you that much. You have to learn to defend and nurture your dreams even if he doesn't get it.

22. Complaining and nagging will never give you the desired results, it will only push your man away from you and make him tolerate you instead of enjoy you. If you want to inspire him to do more for and with you, appreciate him, have pleasant conversations with him, be easy to talk to.

23. If you don't learn how to say no, people and the world will use you and dump you. 

24. Remember, there is more to life than marriage, sex and having children. You are a blessing with so much to accomplish and pursue as an individual.

25. Don't be hard on yourself. Pat yourself on the back for how far you have gone .Good Night Everyone.

~ Credit to unknown writer ✍️

An Evolved Man

An evolved man will not try to pry your heart open or penetrate you with his masculine presence in bed or out of it.

He will create a space for you to slowly blossom open.

He is in no hurry to see what every petal looks like, smells like, tastes like...

He needs nothing from you to fill his being so to him, however long it takes is irrelevant.

He has no agenda with you. None. 

He doesn't need sex from you.

He doesn't need love from you. 

He doesn't need validation from you.

What he desires is your choice. To choose him. 

And for him that choice is felt when you allow your heart to melt more and more in his presence.

He knows that as much as he wants to take you, it's you that must give him the permission to do so freely by your choice to open your heart to him.

You see my dear women, it is your choice always. 

Every man knows this deep down. 

It is you who chooses who to give yourself to and therefore no amount of him prying you open is really what either of you want in your love dynamic.

We are so conditioned to experience love through the way a man tries to be the hero and the way we want our hearts to be pryed because that's what we see in stories, movies, media.

If a man is trying to pry you open it is a reflection of the way you ask your own heart to be pryed open in your life: forcing yourself, pushing yourself to exhaustion, creating unnecessary chaos in your life just to feel present and alive.

We are not victims and we don't need our hearts to be unlocked by another human. We can give ourselves permission to allow our own hearts to unfold.

And we can recognize when a man is giving us the space to unfold in his presence so that we can gift him with our choice to be with him.

The power of that kind of choice... Requires responsibility.

Are you ready???

-Lauren Sheehan

Be Careful Who You Hurt

 

One day you will realize that the same person is not found twice in life. Not everyone is replaceable. Be careful who you hurt.

In this fast-paced, ever-evolving world, we often take relationships for granted. We live in a culture that promotes moving on quickly, finding something or someone new to fill the void. But there comes a moment, often when it’s too late, that you realize certain people are irreplaceable. The unique essence they bring to your life, the way they understand your soul, and the connection you share cannot be duplicated. No matter how many new faces you meet, the bond you had with that one special person—be it a friend, a partner, or even a mentor—was singular. And losing that connection leaves an imprint that no one else can fill. It’s only when they’re gone that the weight of their absence truly sinks in, and the harsh truth hits: the same person does not come twice in a lifetime.

We often hurt those closest to us without fully realizing the magnitude of the damage. In moments of frustration, anger, or pride, we say things, do things, or fail to do things that cut deeply into the hearts of those who care about us. And we assume that apologies, time, or distance will heal everything, that life will go on, and there will always be another chance to make things right. But what if there isn’t? What if the person you hurt is the one whose presence you’ll never be able to replace? The one whose laughter, whose love, whose companionship was meant to walk with you through life’s trials and joys? The truth is, not everyone is replaceable. Some souls touch ours in ways that forever change us, and to lose them is to lose a piece of ourselves.

Be careful who you hurt.

There’s a reason this warning feels so profound. Hurting someone isn’t just about breaking trust or causing momentary pain; it’s about altering the course of a relationship that may never recover. And while we often think we have time to mend what’s broken, the reality is that sometimes, we don’t. Time doesn’t always heal; sometimes, it only widens the gap between two hearts that once beat in sync. The wounds we inflict in moments of carelessness or neglect can run deeper than we imagine. Words said in haste or actions taken in selfishness have a way of echoing in the minds of those we hurt, long after the moment has passed.

Not everyone will give you another chance. Not everyone will be there waiting for you to come to your senses, to apologize, to grow. Some people, once they’ve been hurt, once they feel betrayed or unloved, will quietly walk away. And when you realize what you’ve lost, it will be too late. The space they occupied in your life will remain, but their presence, their light, their love, will be gone. You’ll search for them in others, but you’ll never find the same soul, the same connection, the same magic.

So, be mindful of your words. Be intentional with your actions. Recognize the people who truly matter in your life and treat them with the care they deserve. Love them fully while they’re still within your reach, because one day, you may realize just how rare they are—and by then, they might be gone. Life is fleeting, and relationships are fragile. Don’t let pride, ego, or carelessness ruin something beautiful.

~ Diana Hidayat 💛🥀

She's Different

This one she's just different. She's different than the rest. She's different, because she's real. She's different, because she's unfiltered, and unguarded. She's different, because she's unafraid -she's unafraid to put herself out there. She's unafraid of being an open book. And she's unafraid to show the world who she truly is. She's different, because she's original. She's different, because she's unique and authentic. She's different, because she mixes craziness with class, and confidence with vulnerability. She's different, because she's wild, and she's funny. She's different, because she's free, she's unbothered, she's unaffected and she doesn't care about your opinion. She's different, because she's in love with who she's becoming, and she's in love with where she's going. This one-she's just different. She's different in so many ways. And if you're lucky enough to be the man who walks beside her, she will give you a whole different perspective on life.

~ Author Unknown 

The Beauty in Writing

When she didn't know what else to do, she would write, because to her it was so much more than a blank page to scribble down some words. It was an invitation to let her heart speak. A space where she could express her soul. A faithful friend that would always listen. A portal where she could release her past. A record of a moment that had shaped who she was. An expression of her heart captured in time. A way to reach out to all the people she'd once been. A chance to share glimmers of wisdom from the things that she'd seen. A journey into feeling crafted by her words, an outpouring of love from her heart to theirs. It was her therapy, her healing, her passion and her offering. An alchemical process creating beauty out of suffering 💖

~ Emily Jane

Cherish the Good Man

 

"Some men will walk into your life and change everything for you, give you another reason to live. Keep them close.

They'll challenge you in ways you never thought possible, pushing you to be stronger, braver, and more aligned with your true self. These men see the best in you, even when you can't.

They remind you of your potential and inspire you to reach for it, giving you the courage to break through limitations you once held as truths.

When these men enter your life, they don't just offer companionship, they bring stability. You feel safe in their presence, knowing they'll hold you in moments of weakness without judgment. Their touch, their words, and even their silences offer healing. They don't rush your growth, but patiently walk alongside you as you evolve, supporting you with unwavering faith.

These men don't shy away from your complexities; they embrace every layer. They honor your story-the battles you've fought and the dreams you've yet to pursue. They don't try to change you but rather celebrate who you are at your core, reminding you that you are enough exactly as you are. It's through this acceptance that you begin to heal deeper parts of yourself.

They will inspire you to dream bigger and love harder. With them, love feels like a safe space to explore your vulnerabilities. You'll find yourself opening up in ways you haven't before, trusting that they will hold your heart with care. These men understand the power of emotional intimacy, knowing it's the foundation for a lasting, meaningful connection.

In their presence, you'll learn to trust again-not just in others but in yourself. They help restore your faith in love, in goodness, and in the possibility of creating a life filled with joy and connection. Their belief in you allows you to rebuild your own belief in what's possible.

They are the kind of men who take the time to truly know you, not just your surface-level desires but the dreams you hold in the quiet corners of your heart. They are curious about what lights you up and what keeps you up at night, always striving to understand you on a deeper level.

Their love isn't just in the grand gestures; it's in the little things. It's in the way they remember the details, the way they listen when you speak, the way they show up even when it's inconvenient for them. Their consistency is their promise, a reminder that they are here for the long haul.

With these men, you'll feel seen in a way that's rare. You won't have to hide parts of yourself or pretend to be someone you're not. In fact, they'll encourage you to bring out even more of who you truly are. Their love gives you the freedom to be authentically you.

So when such a man enters your life, cherish him. Understand that what you've found is rare and sacred. Keep him close, not because he completes you, but because he complements you in the most profound ways. He's the kind of man who makes the journey of life feel a little lighter, and the love between you feel like home."

-Siralak Colon

   

The Best Loves

Why You Need to Date Someone Who Scares You

“If she doesn’t scare the hell out of you a little, she’s not the one.”

At first glance, this meme might seem to be implying that you need to only date emotionally unstable people. But if you sit with it for a moment, it takes on a whole other (and more important) layer of meaning.

As much as mainstream media would prefer you to think otherwise, the best relationships are not all sunshine and roses.

Relationships are the ultimate vehicle for self-growth… and the best kind of love that you can engage in is the confronting kind. The kind where your partner acts as a mirror to you and they lovingly help pull all of your demons out of you over time. They act as a catalyst for positive growth.

They’ll point a flashlight into every corner of your dark mental attic, and illuminate all of the things that you try to hide from the world. And they will illuminate it with love, patience, and compassion.

Just when you expect them to run away (after having found out about your deepest, darkest secrets), they’ll tell you that they love you even more now that they know more about you.

Intimacy is about truly letting someone see you. It’s also anxiety producing for the vast majority of people. Letting someone really know you, and really see you, can be terrifying. 

You are laying your heart in their hands and saying to them “Please be gentle with this.” 

And if they’re the right one for you, they will reply back (verbally or non-verbally) “I wouldn’t dream of ever being anything else to you.”

When I first started dating again after an emotionally traumatic breakup, I was hesitant to let anyone get close to me. I engaged in surface level relationships because I feared the anxiety that intimacy produced for me. Even ‘admitting’ that I’d had a difficult day was enough to make my heart race.

In my emotional closure I didn’t think I would ever be able to open up to someone ever again.

Until one fateful day when I met someone who shook up my world entirely.

Her eyes penetrated through me. There was no hiding around her. She never had to say it out loud, but I knew that she saw me.

My ego’s first self-protective instinct was to run away and revert back to my old unproductive habits. Run away before she finds out all of the messy things about your past. Push her away before she has a chance to see past your self-deceptions. Avoid any contact with her in case she might make you feel big, scary emotions again.

My ego resisted her every step of the way. I told myself she wasn’t my usual type. I tried to hide behind things like “She’s too young/inexperienced/small town/etc. for me.” But it was all bullshit. Every thought that tried to keep me away from her was just my ego’s sad excuse to stay closed down emotionally. It was a defence mechanism and I knew it.

When I really started to show up and tell her how I was feeling (namely, scared shitless to even be around her) she received it with grace and compassion. Because even before I had verbalized it, she knew. She already saw me.

As terrifying as intimacy can be, the process of holding up our demons in the light is deeply therapeutic. Shame cannot continue to exist or thrive in the loving context of a close intimate relationship.

Was I fixed forever for having her met her? No. It’s a process like everything else. I had to repeatedly breathe into the deeper layers of anxiety as I let myself be seen more and more by her.

But I’ll be eternally grateful that I did meet her. Because her scaring the hell out of me was my ticket to a positive transformation that I never could have anticipated.

So if you’re at a place in your life where you are starting to see someone who challenges you, confronts you, and scares you on some level, take stock of whether or not you think they might be a force for positive change in your life.

Don’t date someone who scares you because they are controlling, angry, violent, or abusive in any way. That’s the bad kind of fear and it’s an unhealthy relationship to engage in. 

But date someone who scares you because they encourage you to face all of the things you’ve tried to suppress for so long. 

Date someone who lovingly pushes you to become more who you are at your core as a person. 

Date someone who nudges you outside of your comfort zone regularly and helps you level up in life.

It might just be the best thing you ever did for yourself.

The best loves are the ones that drag out all of your emotional demons.

( ✍️ Jordon Gray )

The Rare Man

Some men will walk into your life and change everything for you, give you another reason to live. Keep them close.

They’ll challenge you in ways you never thought possible, pushing you to be stronger, braver, and more aligned with your true self. These men see the best in you, even when you can’t. They remind you of your potential and inspire you to reach for it, giving you the courage to break through limitations you once held as truths.

When these men enter your life, they don’t just offer companionship, they bring stability. You feel safe in their presence, knowing they’ll hold you in moments of weakness without judgment. Their touch, their words, and even their silences offer healing. They don’t rush your growth, but patiently walk alongside you as you evolve, supporting you with unwavering faith.

These men don’t shy away from your complexities; they embrace every layer. They honor your story—the battles you’ve fought and the dreams you’ve yet to pursue. They don’t try to change you but rather celebrate who you are at your core, reminding you that you are enough exactly as you are. It’s through this acceptance that you begin to heal deeper parts of yourself.

They will inspire you to dream bigger and love harder. With them, love feels like a safe space to explore your vulnerabilities. You’ll find yourself opening up in ways you haven’t before, trusting that they will hold your heart with care. These men understand the power of emotional intimacy, knowing it’s the foundation for a lasting, meaningful connection.

In their presence, you’ll learn to trust again—not just in others but in yourself. They help restore your faith in love, in goodness, and in the possibility of creating a life filled with joy and connection. Their belief in you allows you to rebuild your own belief in what’s possible.

They are the kind of men who take the time to truly know you, not just your surface-level desires but the dreams you hold in the quiet corners of your heart. They are curious about what lights you up and what keeps you up at night, always striving to understand you on a deeper level.

Their love isn’t just in the grand gestures; it’s in the little things. It’s in the way they remember the details, the way they listen when you speak, the way they show up even when it’s inconvenient for them. Their consistency is their promise, a reminder that they are here for the long haul.

With these men, you’ll feel seen in a way that’s rare. You won’t have to hide parts of yourself or pretend to be someone you’re not. In fact, they’ll encourage you to bring out even more of who you truly are. Their love gives you the freedom to be authentically you.

So when such a man enters your life, cherish him. Understand that what you’ve found is rare and sacred. Keep him close, not because he completes you, but because he complements you in the most profound ways. He’s the kind of man who makes the journey of life feel a little lighter, and the love between you feel like home.

- Abhikesh

They Will Call You

They will call you "cray" because you are, because you were born with the gift of seeing things differently and that scares them.

They will call you "intense" because you are, because you were born with the courage well placed to allow you to feel everything to the fullest and that intimidates them.

They will call you "selfish" because that's how it is, because you discovered that you are the most important thing in your life and that doesn't suit them.

They will call you in many ways, with many judgments, for a long time, but stay firm in yourself and in what you want, and I promise you that one day they will call you to say, "thank you for existing. "

✍️ Frida Kahlo

8 Ways To Strengthen Your Relationship

Love is perhaps our most powerful emotion, and the need to be in a loving relationship may be one of the strongest needs we have. Being in an intimate relationship makes us feel connected, not only to our partner, but also to the world at large. When our hearts are filled with love, we feel profoundly content and satisfied. We become more patient, more empathetic, kinder, gentler.

But personal intimacy doesn't merely affect our emotional well-being. According to numerous scientific studies, the power of love directly affects our physical health, too, by boosting our immune system, improving our cardiovascular functioning, and increasing our life expectancy. "Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well," says Dean Ornish, M.D., who explores the connections between love and health in his book Love & Survival (HarperCollins). "When you look at the scientific data, the need for love and intimacy is as important and basic as eating, breathing, and sleeping."

On Valentine's Day, we celebrate our love for each other over candlelit dinners or through exchanges of chocolates, flowers, and slinky lingerie. But a box of bonbons only lasts so long. Experts agree that the key to a vitalized, long-lasting relationship is what you and your partner do the other 364 days of the year. Indeed, keeping your love alive requires continual time and effort. Following are eight steps you can take to keep the flame burning.

BE FRIENDS

Any healthy relationship must be based on a solid underlying friendship. Remember to treat your partner with the same kindness, respect, and appreciation as you would a close friend. Support, listen to, and laugh with each other. Don't allow yourselves to be rude or disrespectful.

STAY CONNECTED

"Couples need to spend a lot of time with each other," advises David Kaplan, Ph.D., chair of the Department of Counselor Education and Rehabilitation programs at Emporia State University in Emporia, Kansas. "There is no substitute for quantity of time." Kaplan encourages couples to take a half-day a week to go out on a date. In addition, devote at least 15 minutes of your day to meaningful, one-on-one conversation — no television or kids allowed.

PHYSICAL

Physical intimacy is a natural — and healthy — extension of a relationship. Our best sexual intentions are often put to rest, however, as we collapse into an exhausted heap at the end of the day. Instead, you and your partner need to consciously commit to turning up the heat. Leave the dishes in the sink, turn the laptop off, and just do it! Set the mood with the sensual music, and light some calming aromatherapy candles or incense. Learn to communicate your loving energy through touch.

CELEBRATE EACH OTHER

Saying something kind and affectionate to your partner should be a daily habit. The expression of loving thoughts nourishes your relationship by helping you both remember what it is you treasure about each other. Let your partner know how much you appreciate him or her, and be generous with compliments and expressions of affection.

FIGHT WELL

Since disagreements and arguments are inevitable, what's important is not whether you fight but how you fight. When disagreements surface, keep them short. "No more than 10 minutes," says Kaplan. "After ten minutes, it gets nasty and repetitive." Also, keep boundaries on the subject matter. Don't dredge up issues from last week or last month-keep your dispute focused on the matter at hand.

TAKE A CLASS

Feeling like your relationship could benefit from professional advice? Why not take a class on communications skills, attend a seminar on loving kindness, or read a book on relationship-building together? Your efforts will likely spark important discussions about your relationship and, ultimately, enhance it. A good starting point is Phillip McGraw, Ph.D.'s straight-talking tome Relationship Rescue (Hyperion, 2000).

LISTEN CAREFULLY

Being an attentive listener lets your partner know that his or her thoughts and feelings are important to you.

Moreover, good listening encourages partners "to open up and be willing to share," says Richard and Kristine Carlson, authors of Don't Sweat the Small Things in Love (Hyperion, 1999). The secret, say the Carlsons, is not just to "hear" what your partner is saying, but to be truly "present," having a heartfelt desire to understand what is being said and listening without being judgmental.

MAINTAIN YOUR SENSE OF SELF

Partners must learn to balance their needs as individuals with their needs as a couple. "On one hand, you don't want people to be too far apart emotionally. If you don't spend time together, you become disengaged emotionally," says Kaplan. "The other end of the spectrum is couples that become too dependent on each other and their individual identity gets lost." Ideally, the two of you should be close enough to have intimacy, yet "far enough away to have an individual identity," says Kaplan. Don't be afraid to develop some friendships and interests separate from your partner.

Author: Heather Prouty

Now Available: Loving Him is Heaven and Hell

 

The mystery of Love, and of the purest sexual connection, is the perfect expression of both desire and generosity. Unity is felt not only in our shared emotional depth, but also in each other's inexhaustible longing to fill and be filled.

We tap into this powerful connection with a simple look, the way our hands touch, or lips softly brush against the ear. We now live and move and have our being in each other.

That unity embodies many things. It creates and gives breath to our unbreakable emotional bond. It opens a pathway of communication within the very depths of our hearts. It allows us to symbolize and express in the deepest way our safety, adoration, acceptance, and commitment.

When we are joined together sexually, we sense our perfect wholeness. It allows us to taste the gift of love. It gives freely and ask nothing in return.

Available on Amazon  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DDQCRY52

Loving Your Soulmate

Love is a beautiful and complex emotion that transcends superficial expectations and checklists. It is a deep connection that goes beyond mere attraction or compatibility. Your soulmate is the person who truly sees you for who you are, flaws and all, and still chooses to love you unconditionally.

In a soulmate relationship, love is not just a fleeting feeling, but a profound commitment to the well-being and happiness of your partner. It requires constant effort, understanding, and support. Your soulmate is the one who stands by your side through thick and thin, offering unwavering love and support, even during challenging times.

True love is not only about the good days when everything is perfect. It is about being there for each other during the tough times, when stress, anger, anxiety, or disappointment may arise. It is during these moments that the depth of your love and commitment is truly tested. Your soulmate is the person who chooses to love you even when it's difficult, and who remains by your side, offering comfort and understanding.

Appreciating and cherishing your soulmate is crucial. It's important to recognize the immense value they bring to your life and to express your love and gratitude for them. Love should be nurtured and celebrated every day, with gestures of kindness, affection, and support. Remember that your soulmate is a precious gift, someone who sees the real you and loves you unconditionally. Treasure this connection and strive to love them with all your heart, deeper than the vast depths of the ocean.

In the end, finding your soulmate is a rare and special occurrence. It is a bond that goes beyond mere compatibility and physical attraction. It is a connection that is built upon acceptance, understanding, and unconditional love. Cherish and appreciate your soulmate, and together, create a love that is truly extraordinary.

-Zugwai

Coming Soon: Loving Him is Heaven and Hell

 COMING SOON TO AMAZON! A collection of love poems dedicated to twin flames, sacred soulmates, and lovers of love. Please click on link to join my email list for book release date, contest, and to learn more about me and the poetry. 

https://www.sendfox.com/mysticmadisonmeadows

All Over Again

 

She did not betray

Her thoughts of him

She wrote them all down

Tucked safely in a drawer

Where years from now

She'd rediscover them

And relive his memory 

All over again

Take It To The Grave

You broke us

I did my best

To keep our secrets
You did your best
At avoiding any interaction with me
Knowing how it would end
Maybe I was the one
Too invested
But we both had everything to lose
The difference between you and me
Is I take risks
At any cost
Not for love dear
But for truth
Living a lie was eating at my soul
I set myself free
And dug my own grave at the same time
I am in a better place
I'd like to think
My actions helped you
Even if it was just in the smallest way
I just wanted you to be happy
As you continue to hold tight to your secret
I hope you know your secret is safe with me
Take it to your grave dear
If you like
And bury it
With all the lovely memories of me

Fictional Love Story

 

The words I want to say to you are sitting on my chest. 

So many emotions I've carried around with me with no suitable place to go.

I'm tired of feeling this way..

Loved but not loved, heard but not validated.

There comes a point one gets to when the heavy grief that burdens the heart has to go somewhere. 

I've come to that point of longing no more because my heart is numb.

Carrying around a hope that one day you'll be real was killing me.

This fictional love story is just that.. fiction.

A woman needs more then the vague ghostly figure that visits her dreams. 

I've been reminded of my value.

I've been reminded that there is someone out there longing for a woman like me..

Free spirited,  fun loving, courageous,  and believes in magic.

But even in the reminding, I'm left feeling like a piece of me is missing, and knowing in my core, you're the missing piece. 

But, these days, I've reclaimed my power. 

I choose now to leave that missing piece as a space within me where you can come and go, visit when you want.

I choose an open door between your heart and mine, and if the world doesn't like it..

that's not my problem. 

Things That Cause Regret At Old Age

 

When younger, we make various choice's without the future in mind. Sometimes those choices bite us in our mid-life. These are some of the things one might regret when they're older.

1. Marrying the wrong person

When you're young, check your motives for marrying. Don't marry to copy your peers, or for social standing or out of pressure. Marry for love and companionship, marry the right person, marry your best friend. For if you marry the wrong person or for the wrong reasons, you will have to put up with that person the rest of your life. Things might get worse between you two; then depression, physical abuse, affairs, pain, shame, court cases, bitterness will define your mid-life years all because you chose the wrong one. Things will get worse when children are involved. Make the right choice of a spouse when you are young.

2. The opportunities you did not seize

When you are younger many doors will open, you will get many chances. Many young people let these opportunities go because of fear, laziness, or pride; yet well younger and with more energy is the best time to start a venture and a name for yourself. Some think the opportunities are too big for them. Take advantage of them or one day when you're older you will want to go back and grab those missed chances.

3. The bridges you burned

When we are younger, we care little for relationships, what most think about is getting money and moving up the ladder of success at all cost. Many use and trample on people to progress, they take relationships for granted, messing up bonds, sleeping with people for personal gain. But these bad actions will catch up with you ahead. When you will realize how empty life is without love and friends. When you will have success but no one around you or no one to trust you.

4.The child you aborted

You are a young lady, you get pregnant and you are scared. You take the aborting option quickly thinking of that moment then. But when you are much older, you will look back and wish you kept that baby. When you will be rich and successful you will wish that child you gave up on would be around to enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Being a single mother doesn't mean you can't make it in life or you can't find a man in future.

5. The child you rejected

Young man, you impregnated a woman, she told you she's pregnant with your child. You rejected her and the baby and ran. But years later when you're 50 something, you will wish you were responsible, you will wish you manned up and became a father to that child. You will see that child excel and become an adult but will have no claim to that grown child who you rejected from the beginning. You will regret being a Dead Beat Dad by choice

6. The marriage you destroyed

So you get married to your good fiance; the first months in marriage were good but shortly after, with your money and charm, you started having affairs. You became unfaithful. Your spouse begged you to stop, your children started hurting, your marriage was collapsing. One day when you are older, it will hit you how foolish you were to destroy the good marriage you had began to build for mere temporary thrills in affairs that did you no good. You will realize the damage you caused to your children and spouse.

7. The God you disowned

When you are much older you become wiser, God becomes more real as you see life in a more meaningful way. But don't wait to get older to start enjoying a relationship with God. Know God when you are young, build your future with God. Don't be a young rebel who runs back to God when age catches up.

8. The body you messed up

You have only one body to live with all your life. The cigarettes, the alcohol you are abusing, the drugs you are taking, the unhealthy food you're consuming; all that will destroy you slowly. When you are 50 and lifestyle diseases catch up with you, you will wish you took care of your body when younger, that you exercised more; but now the damage is done.

9. The time you wasted

The time you are wasting when younger in worry, wrong relationships, laziness, being a couch potato, giving excuses and pursuing meaningless things; you will never get it back.

10. The dreams and talents you shelved

Are you talented when young; are there things you love to do and you are good at them? Nurture those talents, exploit them, don't give up even if you encounter set backs, don't give up on your dreams. If you give up, when you're older you will look at your peers who stuck to what they love and made it and think to yourself, "That could have been me". Pursue a career, study a course you love. Don't waste years of your life in a field that doesn't fulfill you.

11 The name you defamed

When you are older, a legacy is very important, the value of your name is crucial. You will ask yourself what is your reputation, what are you leaving behind? Your legacy is a sum total of your actions since youthful days. We write our biography by how we live life everyday. When you look back your path and you see the mud you threw at your own name, the shame you attracted and the little value you have added to the world; you will regret.

12. The wealth you threw away

Are you riding on good money during your productive years? Earning good money? Don't throw away that money in clubs, reckless living and wasteful shopping. Invest with that money, widen your revenue stream, make that money work for you and keep it safe to take care of you in your older years. Leave an inheritance for your loved ones so that you will never say "I wish I knew better"

13. The good love that got away

Is there that great person in your life loving you good? Don't push that person away, or else that person will walk out your life and you will never ever find someone that incredible and who connects with you all your life. It will torment you to grow older with thoughts of "What if I was still with that person?"

14 The parents you despised

When younger, it is easy to show contempt to your parents; what do your parent's know? They are old-fashioned, shady and small -minded. But your parents are still your parents whether you agree with them or not, whatever their style. Don't let your parent die or age separated from you, reconcile and make up. When you get older, you will realize why your parents wanted to be close to you. The older you get, the more you see the value.

~ facebook.com/animallife

The Heart Has Its Own Memory

There was an unspeakable love 

That hung in the air

Between them

She longed to see him again

He buried his love

In the deep recesses of his soul

Little did he know

That love can't be forgotten 

Not by the heart 

The heart has it’s own memory 

Memories that then seap into the dreams

Of those that are lost

But not forgotten 

Choose The Man Who Will Love You Unconditionally

Choose the man who never stops opening up all parts of you. The man who sees your layers and gently, persistently, helps you reveal and embrace each one. His understanding and patience allow you to explore depths within yourself that you never knew existed.

Choose the man whose touch takes you to places you didn't know existed. His presence is a catalyst for your personal growth, and his touch is a doorway to new realms of pleasure, comfort, and connection. With him, you discover sensations and emotions that transcend the ordinary, leading to profound experiences.

Choose the man whose energy has you aching for more. His vitality and passion ignite a fire within you, inspiring you to live fully and passionately. His energy complements yours, creating a dynamic and exhilarating connection that leaves you wanting more of the beautiful moments you share together.

Choose the man who has taken the time to know your body, mind, and spirit. He appreciates every aspect of who you are, valuing your physical presence, your intellectual insights, and your spiritual essence. This man understands you deeply and cherishes the entirety of your being.

Choose the man you can trust with your soul. His integrity, loyalty, and love provide a safe haven for your most vulnerable self. You feel secure in sharing your deepest fears, dreams, and desires with him, knowing that he will honor and protect your soul with unwavering commitment.

Choose the man who supports your growth and evolution. He encourages you to pursue your passions and dreams, standing by your side through every challenge and triumph. His belief in your potential empowers you to become the best version of yourself.

Choose the man who listens and understands. He is attentive and empathetic, valuing your thoughts and feelings. His ability to listen without judgment creates a space where you feel heard and validated, fostering a deep emotional connection.

Choose the man who loves you unconditionally. He sees your imperfections and loves you not despite them, but because of them. His unconditional love provides a foundation of acceptance and security, allowing you to be completely yourself.

Choose the man who shares your values and dreams. He is aligned with your vision for the future, and together, you build a life based on shared goals and mutual respect. His partnership enriches your journey, making every moment meaningful.

Choose the man who brings joy and laughter into your life. His sense of humor and playfulness lighten your heart and bring happiness to your days. With him, even the simplest moments are filled with joy and delight.

Choose the man who respects your independence. He understands the importance of your individuality and supports your need for personal space and growth. His respect for your independence strengthens your bond, creating a balanced and healthy relationship.

Choose the man who makes you feel cherished and adored. His gestures of love and appreciation remind you daily of your worth and beauty. With him, you feel treasured and celebrated, enhancing your self-love and confidence.

Choosing a man with these qualities, you embrace a relationship filled with depth, passion, and unwavering support. This partnership becomes a source of strength, joy, and profound fulfillment.

- Abhikesh

Winter’s Kiss

the fear of him 

made her feel alive 

winter crawled under her skin

she welcomed the feeling

something familiar about being alive

when cold fingers touch you

she couldn't anticipate where it was headed 

or how it would end

but there was definitely something very familiar 

with the way he held her

kissed her

it woke up in her

a silent knowing

that he was sunshine and warmth

a safe place

to just be herself 

The Bridge

"Someone can be madly in love with you. And still not be ready. 

They can love you in a way you have never been loved.

And still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. 

Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. 

There is more extraordinary love. More love that you have never seen. Out here in this wide and wild Universe. And there is the love that will be ready.”

( Nayyirah Waheed - 'The Bridge' )

All or Nothing

She is very clear about who she is. She doesn't pretend to be something she's not. What you see is what you get. Don't be surprised if one day she's sweet and kind, but slander her behind her back or let her down in a big way and it's over for you. She won't call. She won't go out of her way for you ever again. She won't pretend that at one time you were friends. You never have to guess how she feels about you. She's clear and to the point. She doesn't waste her time on those who don't see her value and appreciate her heart. She's not good at pretending anything. She's all or nothing. 

The Companion

darling, there's someone out there who is a vibrational match to you. someone who will walk with you on your journey... who knows your pain and even your thoughts before you speak them. when two people are doing the innerwork to heal their wounds and long for transformation,  that's when the divine intervenes and brings the two of you together. don't ever feel you have to do this alone. don't ever think that you're the only one that feels pain. we are all connected... vibrating at different frequencies. darling, just keep doing you, and i promise that your soul friend will show up. your loving thoughts towards yourself will attract him because he's been loving himself and longing for you. life will become so much sweeter and all the burdens you shouldered, you will no longer shoulder alone. the companion is as ancient as a sunset but never sets. a bird resting calmly on the waters of your soul even when the waters are rough. welcome him. cherish him. because life just got so much sweeter. 

 

With Eyes Closed

She let him

Consume every inch

Of her soul

Nothing else mattered

Death had no grip on her

She'd die happily

Feeling more alive

Than she ever did

She could close her eyes

And fall into an eternal sleep

Knowing that her thoughts of him

Were always with her

Even with eyes closed

The Let Them Theory

Are you familiar with the “Let Them” theory?  

Let them be upset.

Let them judge you.

Let them misunderstand you. 

Let them gossip about you,

Let them ignore you.

Let them be "right."

Let them doubt you.

Let them not like you.

Let them not speak to you.

Let them run your name in the ground.

Let them make you out to be the villain.

Whatever it is that people want to say about you, let them! 

Kindly step aside and LET THEM.

The hard truth is they know how much they are hurting you. They just simply don't care. They did it knowing it could cause them to lose you. They did it anyway.  People that love you care about how they make you feel. 

The end. 

Let them go. 

There will be people that would rather lose you than be honest about what they've done to you. Let them go.

The lack of respect was the closure.  The lack of apology was the closure.  The lack of care was the closure. The lack of acountability was the closure. The lack of honestly was the closure.  Let them go. 

Make the decision to no longer sit at tables where you might be the topic when you get up. Let them go. 

You can still be kind. You can even still love them deeply. But do it from the distance they created in their words and actions. Access to you is a privilege they have proven they can’t be trusted with. Let them go. 

You don’t need to tell your side of the story. God already knows. Let God fight the battle for you. Let them go. 

It’s taken me a long time to get here. Sleepless nights, countless tears, managing a range of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, confusion and deep hurt.  Lots of self reflection, self preservation, deep prayer and seeking wisdom from those much wiser than me.  

If you are struggling with this please know you are not alone.  We will never understand why hurt people hurt people. But we can do the hard work to grow ourselves.  Because healed people do in fact heal people. 

Don’t you dare let them steal your joy. 

Don’t you dare let them steal your light. 

Don’t you dare let them steal your peace. 

You are in control of that. 

Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.

Let them go.   

- Author Unknown 

        🫶🏻

Waterfall

she lay there

long enough for her shadow

to lengthen

and her heart pain

paralyzing her mind and body

unable to move

her eyes waterfalled 

as she trembled

knowing that in this lifetime 

she'd never see him again

she'd lay there

until she was able

to force herself to stand up

and will herself to live again