It’s the feminine that actually leads a relationship
(in the subtle)...
For anyone who has touched the polarity world
You’d know
That the masculine leads.
That’s what they tell you right
It’s up to the man to lead
To take charge
To have direction
And for the feminine
For the woman…
She is in an unending state of surrender.
Just simply waiting for him to know
Exactly where they need to go.
I think whoever came up with this teaching doesn’t really know much about women at all.
It paints a sexy picture...
The sweet receptive feminine
And the brash confident masculine
With their incredible electric polarity
The stuff of movies
And our wildest erotic fantasies
Like all archetypal stories… it’s a myth
It’s an ideal that can teach us something
But it’s not really real.
Anyone who tries to live this to the letter
Is in for an unpleasant surprise
Because that’s not how relationships actually work...
Most women aren’t just waiting around
Trusting him to know everything
Offering up every bit of their own authority
And outsourcing it to him
Most men don’t want to lead everything all the time
Constantly guessing and anticipating
His life not much more than an attempt to mind-read
And meet her endless needs
Feel the dysfunction in that
Feel the contortion in it
It’s not healthy.
There is a deeper truth to be found…
We need to explore some ancient wisdom to make sense of what really happens between us
The Yin-Yang
This symbol has persisted for so long
Because it has so much to teach
Inside the Yin is a core of Yang
Inside the Yang is a core of Yin
Interesting that.
Leading and following is not one-dimensional
It is multi-dimensional
Understanding this, changes everything...
In the subtle… the realms of the non-verbal
The non-linear. The non-rational
The quantum oracular nature of the feminine shines
This is where she knows, through her sensing
What needs to happen next...
This is her Yang
Yet in the subtle she leads this gracefully
through invitations
The better she invites
And inspires
The more he will be able to receive her sensing and turn it into experiences for them.
That little glance up to meet his eyes for just a second
An Invitation.
“Where would you like to go for dinner?” he asks.
“I don’t know… maybe somewhere romantic and cosy”
An Invitation.
“I read this post on tantric intimacy the other day, it’s fascinating, can I share it with you?”
An Invitation.
The arch of her body straining for his lips or his touch
An invitation.
Always an invitation to journey somewhere
Experience something
Go deeper
His position is to lead in the concrete.
He hears her invitation and picks up the phone and makes the reservation to just the right restaurant that will give that vibe to enhance the mood she is sensing.
He sees her glance and mustering his confidence strides across the room to introduce himself.
He finds the post she is referring to, then reads more… finally booking them into a weekend workshop recognising that this invitation is going to make things so much yummier between them.
He reaches out to touch or kiss her right there, at the right time, in the right way...
His Yin core is Attunement.
Deep listening.
Her Yang core is Invitation.
We are multi-dimensional beings
Dancing with each other in synergy
Across layers of time and space
The better we get at this dance
The more profound the intimacy we experience.
Doubt the one-dimensional polarity teachings
Because they are limiting
And will never take you where you know you can go.
Because you are so so so much vaster than that…
~ Damien Bohler
