Deep Listening

 

The most beautiful quality of all in a human being in my humble opinion?

The ability to listen deeply.

To listen from Presence. From stillness.

To listen without trying to fix someone, change them, or ‘save’ them.

The ability to allow another to be exactly as they are.

Not giving unsolicited advice. Not lecturing them about the latest psychological research or the ‘most true’ spiritual teaching. Not trying to mold them, manipulate them into matching a concept of who they ‘should’ be. Not projecting your own trauma - or traumatic answers - all over them.

Just listening. Listening with an open mind and an open heart and a receptive nervous system.

Allowing them to breathe, to express, to weep, to question, to be completely unique, to expand into the space, to discover their own truth.

I have met world experts in intimacy, relationships, and honest communication who are unable to do this.

I have met spiritual gurus, so-called “enlightened masters”, expert psychologists, and life coaches who are utterly unable to do this.

I have met popular teachers and authors on ‘listening from the heart, ‘holding space’, ‘pure awareness, and ‘embodied spirituality’ who are unable to do this.

It is a rare gift - the ability to allow others to be exactly as they are.

Broken. Whole. Sad. Angry. Afraid. Lost. Awake or asleep. Whatever.

To listen to them with every fiber of your being.

To receive them through the senses, to listen like the wild animals of the forest.

To swaddle them in undistracted, fascinated attention.

To envelop them in a silent, warm Presence.

To make them feel - in those precious moments that you are together - like they are the most beloved One in the whole Universe.

When you sense this kind of sacred listening from someone, it’s unmistakable.

It cannot be manufactured.

It cannot be faked.

It is utterly rare and holy.

It is nothing less than unconditional love.

Your nervous system senses it and rejoices.

~Jeff Foster

Her Memory

There are words

Stuck in his throat

That he can’t get out

Feelings he wants to express

But fears he can’t

He thinks it’s too late

Too much time has gone by

And the damage is done

He can’t take back

What he did

And what he should've said

Her memory

Lingers in him

And he knows

Time is not on his side

One day

She’ll marry again

One day

Her heart will belong to someone else

And he’ll have to live with that

Because he never

Spoke up

Be the Change

I don't mean to offend people but often times I do, unintentionally.

I don't mean to be rude or condescending but sometimes the words out of my mouth sound that way.

I use to be quiet.. kept to myself. 

You'd never know what I was thinking.

But as I've aged that's changed.

I'm bold.. sometimes in your face..

Don't hold back anything.

Especially when I get a sense of dirtiness.. Someone being less guinuine than what I expect from others.

I don't like shady, dishonesty.

I don't like being treated like a dumb girl.. taken advantage of.

So if you think for even a split second you can pull the wool over my eyes, I'll call you out on your bullshit.

Life is to short to play games.

To short to not be real.. even with strangers.

And I can't help think that more people need to be more bold and stand up to those who are taking advantage of the vulnerable.

Say enough is enough..

Take your bullshit somewhere else.

Demand integrity. 

Demand change.

Be the change..

Speak up!

Not Your Job

 PLEASE HONOR YOURSELVES.~~

 Quit trying to fix others who can not, or will not, face and work on their shadow. Don’t waste your time helping those who are not courageous enough to be transparent, honest and authentic.  FYI…. An apology without change behavior is actually manipulation. If you have given these ones many chances to rise up, but they continue to break promises, it is time to move on.  It doesn’t matter how much you love them. Even if you have great compassion for how unconscious they are. If they are open and willing to allow you to absorb and process their shadow for them, they do not care for you, they are just using you. This is spiritual abuse. 

Don’t let someone make their issues your job!   

You cannot fix other peoples issues, unless they’re willing to dive into the messy nightmare we call our shadow. If we keep trying to help someone that isn’t willing to be helped, even if they say they want to be helped, even if they are good and kind people, but their actions keep showing us that they will not make any effort to change, or have a willingness to facing their shadow, and do the necessary work on themselves. . . We only weaken them. Yes, WE WEAKEN THEM! And we also weaken ourselves!!!  

It is only when we finally pull our energy away, that they they have the opportunity to face the things they need to heal. They may or may not do it in this life time, but it is not our job anymore. It never was. 

We always think if we don’t give up, and keep trying, we can make a difference.  But there are so many people out in the world who are ready, that you can hold space for and where you can make a difference.

Don’t waste your life helping someone who does not want to be helped, and is using your energy to sustain themselves, to boost their self-esteem, and to give their life meaning. Because eventually the very thing that they were attracted to you about will be the very thing they don’t like anymore.

The bottom line is this: 

HONOR YOUR GIFTS and share with those that have the open heart to receive it.  Honor your energy.  Don’t throw your lighted pearls before those who are not willing to accept, honor or respect them.  

Honor and value yourselves!

Honor and value your light!

Honor and value your gifts! 

And this action will also honor the God within us ALL. 

Our days of fulfilling karmic obligations are over. We don’t need the extra baggage at this point. Cosmic and earthy energies are flooding in everywhere for everyone to help us purge, learn and ultimately grow beyond the many things that have been holding us back. There is no going back. There is only forward into the void where we will create our new world. 

~Aluna Joy Yaxkin

When She’s Difficult to Love

She's good at shutting down

Just ignore her needs

Or neglect her heart 

Just once 

And she'll retreat within

Sometimes for days

Her silence

Overwhelming 

So love her

To the best of your ability 

Even on the days

When she's difficult to love

Periods of Growth

 “Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. 

Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.” 

—Alice Walker, Living by the Word

Love in Motion

"Love is the perfection of consciousness. We do not love because we do not comprehend, or rather.. we do not comprehend because we do not love. 

For love is the ultimate meaning of everything around us. It is not a mere sentiment; it is truth; it is the joy that is at the root of all creation.. 

The human soul is on its journey from the law to love, from discipline to liberation, from the moral plane to the spiritual... 

In love all the contradictions of existence merge themselves and are lost. Only in love are unity and duality not at variance. Love must be one and two at the same time.

Only love is motion and rest in one. Our heart ever changes its place till it finds love, and then it has its rest."

~Rabindranath Tagore

Twin Flame Dream- Relationships

 

From Journal Entry 6/17/2013

I am with my husband and kids in his living room. He is across from us with his wife and kids. His wife has a birthmark under her left eye. He points to the right side of her face and says he loves that side more. He points to everyone except me and says we are all family. Then he points to a family portrait on the wall. He calls my family his aunts and uncles.

I can feel how family is important to you…

How family comes first.

How family also means everything to me.

How there is a karmic bond between our families.

In the end, we all want to feel like we belong to someone or to something greater than ourselves.

I want to say that that greater thing is love.

And unselfishly, we know that our greatest wounds are caused by love.

This twin flame journey has really shed light on family dynamics.

I see how our infinite souls are intertwined with those we love and even those that we grow to hate.

I don't have all the answers.

I don't know if my actions are undoing karmic cycles and mending those relationships that mean the most to me.

So many insecurities I feel.

So much healing I still need to do on myself.

My world still spins around you...

My thoughts orbit next to yours and even collide at times.

I swear sometimes I can see your thoughts.

They drift into my dreamscape and it is there your drama plays out.

Sometimes it feels like I am sunbathing in the warmth of your thoughts…

Other times it feels like I'm in the middle of a hurricane.

These images are framed in a picture…

permanently hanging up on the walls of my mind reminding me how relationships are not simple.