Twin Flame Dream: Hanging On

 

From Journal Entry 2018

You are driving a car. Your wife is in the passenger seat. I am in the back seat. All of a sudden I say, "I think the two of you should stay together." You both turn your heads quickly towards me in disbelief and shock.

I fought for my marriage.

I fought for a man who did not deserve me.

I mainly fought for my kids.

I came from a broken home and did not want them to.

I thought fighting was the right, godly thing to do.

After all the hell I endured during my divorce I didn't want the same for you.

Divorce is ugly.

It doesn't have to be when there are two mature adults, but in my case, it got really ugly.

I know you're not what's best for me... that we both have work to do on ourselves.

I know your wife loves you. 

I know I don't need anything from you to feel complete.

I know you believe I'm still hanging on to you.

I know you have more questions than answers.

I on the other hand don't need answers.

I acknowledge the nature of our relationship.

I don't pretend it doesn't exist.

I'm not the same person I was ten years ago.

I don't need yours or anyone's approval or acceptance.

Sure, you made me nervous.

I was way more self-conscious any time I was around you.

You were a mirror pointing out all my defects and also mirroring back a deep unconditional love that I didn't know existed within myself.

You may think I am still hanging onto you, but that's your ego talking.

I don't need answers about what this is between us because I already know.

You're still hanging on to the questions.

Let go so the answers may come.