Madison Meadows Spiritual Blog: A Journey into Mysticism, Dreams, Twin Flames, & Healing

  For years I was the chaser pursuing you. Writing my heart out and knowing intuitively that my words were reaching you. For years I hoped you would respond and tell me I'm not crazy. That I'm not alone. That you are with me feeling what I'm feeling.. going through what I'm going through. Back then, I needed to be validated. I thought then I could put an end to my destructive thoughts that I had about myself. I really believed I needed you to tell me my worth. Through time I've learned that was just my own insecurities. That was me avoiding self-acceptance through self-love. I didn't want to look any deeper into myself and see the brokenness.. I knew I was broken but never dealt with the why part of it. Divorcing a narcissist ripped open all those wounds at once. I didn't even have time to process my pain. I was forced to face my short comings, my downfalls, the broken parts of myself because what was happening to me was breaking me...

  Reviewed by Vernita Naylor for Readers' Favorite Grit. Raw. Explosive. Fear. Life is depicted not only in the words but in the written form within this book of poems. Madison Meadows displays the different elements of traumatic expressions that the reader will experience and feel when reading over thirty poems in The Fire in a Woman's Belly 1. This book reflects the push and pull of emotions that abuse causes to one's psyche. Abuse takes on several forms from mental to physical which leaves not only bruises but scars in different ways. Hear the voice of the author speak and expose the many women (and now men) suffering from the hurt, disrespect, and wounds of victims. This book creates a double-edged sword effect due to its transformation position of change. I love the poems in this book. Immediately you're hit with the passion of the author through the writing. I enjoyed the whole book but my favorites were The Crowd of Sorrows, Unwanted, Temporary Event, Fixed On Go...

  For years I thought if I could just be ′′ enough ", maybe I'd finally deserve their love, care or friendship. Thinking about it, I feel sorry for letting myself be used like a doormat, like a meaningless being. I had to spend a long half of my life suffering in silence before I realized that just because I'm kind, gentle and caring doesn't mean I have to let people walk on me. I've spent a large part of my life trying to shrink myself, taking up less space. I don't talk much about my emotions because I don't want people to think I'm hypersensitive. I don't want to be too demanding, sticky or opinionated. I was afraid if people saw the real me they couldn't love me like this is how love was meant to be. I repressed myself for years and pretended to be someone else. I realized it wasn't my job to please anyone, to be less so they could be more. We don't have to become someone else's expectation, a worthy human being because we are al...

  She was a combination  Of a tempered fire And cool rain Capable of hiding hurt Behind eyes Of silent storms

  From Journal Entry 2018 You are driving a car. Your wife is in the passenger seat. I am in the back seat. All of a sudden I say, "I think the two of you should stay together." You both turn your heads quickly towards me in disbelief and shock. I fought for my marriage. I fought for a man who did not deserve me. I mainly fought for my kids. I came from a broken home and did not want them to. I thought fighting was the right, godly thing to do. After all the hell I endured during my divorce I didn't want the same for you. Divorce is ugly. It doesn't have to be when there are two mature adults, but in my case, it got really ugly. I know you're not what's best for me... that we both have work to do on ourselves. I know your wife loves you.   I know I don't need anything from you to feel complete. I know you believe I'm still hanging on to you. I know you have more questions than answers. I on the other hand don't need answer...

  Often times she feels trapped in this world. She is always thinking about her great escape. Yes, death invades her thoughts a lot and she welcomes the intrusion. The world, in her eyes, is a prison. She feels strongly this way about it because she is a magician of sorts, in her own mind. Nighttime is an invitation to explore other worlds. She mastered the art of leaving her body at a young age. It is natural for her. It's in the twilight hours when she is completely free. Coming back into her body is always a disappointment. The heaviness sets in first and then the reality of being stuck back in an aging body hits hard. It's a sadness you wouldn't understand unless you're an astral traveler. There are no limits, no obligations, no rules to follow. Just an intention set by you to go wherever your heart desires. Literally! So if you think she's the crazy one, think again. She knows the secret. She knows the way out. She longs for the nights because the moon welcomes...

  And he is waiting. He watches her; He feels The Pull, But remains silent. She senses His soul Crying Out for her, But Remains Silent. "Not now" The universe whispers. He understands How she feels, He feels it too. "Not now" The universe whispers. He is Growing Into the man He believes She deserves, And he waits, In the silence; In the background; Watching her, Waiting. He knows She needs time To heal; He longs to see her Blossom again. He whispers Silent Words Of encouragement; She hears them. They both Wait Without Standing still, and Feel each other Without Touch. "Not now" The universe whispers, "Be patient and trust what you feel." He is there He is waiting. He is the Love she seeks. He has mirrored her journey; Felt the pain. "Not now" The universe whispers, But Soon, So he waits; He feels; He stays silent, But strong. She waits; She grows; She knows This is the love She lived her Lifetimes for. She has waited a Thousand Years, ...

  I don’t trust happiness. When I'm happy I start wondering how long before everything falls apart. How long before I'm curled up in the corner crying my heart out because someone broke it again. I trust myself to make good decisions.  I trust my intuition to guide me. The problem is so often when I open up to someone, later, down the road, I start wondering if I'll get burned because that's what my past has taught me. A woman should feel safe in her man's arms. Always. But she should also heal her wounds and change outdated belief systems in order to be in a healthy relationship with herself and her partner. Otherwise, she'll repeat old karmic cycles. I'm doing my best to nurture my needs and meet new standards I've set for myself. It isn't easy. There is always that voice of doubt whispering, don’t trust anyone ever again . I've realized you have to put yourself out there, make yourself vulnerable if you're ever going to experience real...

1. “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” 2. “To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.” 3. “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.” 4. “Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” 5. “A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourse...