An Awakening Through Memory, Letting Go, and the Fire of Transformation
Originally recorded April 2, 2002
Recently, while revisiting my old journals and writings, I came across an astral projection I experienced on April 2, 2002. It has been more than 24 years since I recorded this experience, and yet, reading it again, I find myself discovering new layers of meaning.
Over the years, I have learned that dreams and astral experiences sometimes reveal their deeper significance long after they occur. What we understand at one stage of our lives may take on an entirely different meaning as we grow spiritually. This particular astral projection unfolded in three distinct experiences. Looking back, I believe they were connected, each flowing into the next, revealing something about attachment, acceptance, and ultimately, spiritual transformation. And at the heart of it all was an extraordinary vision of a dragon and an angel written across the heavens.
Part One: Returning to My Childhood Home
My experience began in Illinois, on the property where I grew up. My grandmother Theresa and I lived on the same large piece of property, with our homes near one another. That land held so much of my childhood. It was a place filled with memories, family, and a deep sense of belonging.
During the astral projection, I encountered a woman who had purchased the house I grew up in. She was anxiously waiting for my arrival and told me she was writing a book. As I looked around, I saw houses being built all over the property. I became terribly upset. I was sad and angry that my grandmother had sold the land. Even the old barn was gone. I remember crying.
There is something important I want to explain about this part of the experience. In real life, my grandmother did sell portions of the property, and houses were eventually built on those lots. However, the barn still stands today. And even more beautifully, my brother still lives in the very house where we grew up.
On my last visit back to Illinois, I experienced something quite different from the sorrow I felt during that astral projection. I saw my childhood home in a new light. It was beautiful. Truly beautiful. There was something magical about returning to that place and seeing it with the eyes of the woman I have become. I no longer felt that same attachment to what the property once looked like. Instead, I felt grateful that my brother still has our childhood home, that the barn is still standing, and that a part of our family history remains.
Perhaps what I experienced in 2002 was not simply grief over land being sold. Perhaps it was my soul confronting the impermanence of the physical world. We grow up believing that certain places will always remain as we remember them. Yet time moves forward. Land changes. Houses change hands. Families grow older. Nothing in the physical world remains entirely untouched by time. But the love and memories we carry remain within us.
Another detail now catches my attention: the woman in my experience was writing a book. As someone who has spent so much of my life writing, recording dreams, and preserving memories, I find that especially intriguing. Perhaps the image of someone writing a book upon my childhood property symbolizes something about preserving the stories that time might otherwise erase.
Part Two: The Ford Dually Truck
The second part of my astral projection took me to the front of Grandma Theresa's house. There, I saw a Ford dually truck with a family inside. At the time of this experience, I was married, and my husband and I had owned a dually truck that we eventually sold. So this was another familiar piece of my waking life appearing in the astral experience. I was surprised to see the truck. A man was driving, and he appeared to be drunk. I told him that I had once owned the truck and had sold it. But what stands out to me now is my emotional response. I was happy. I was genuinely happy to see that his family was enjoying the truck so much.
This is quite a contrast to the first part of my experience. When I saw my childhood property being transformed, I cried. I felt anger and sorrow over what had been lost. Yet when I encountered something else that had once belonged to me, I felt happiness knowing that it was bringing enjoyment to another family.
I see something meaningful in this difference. Perhaps I was being shown two ways of experiencing loss. One is through attachment, where we suffer because something no longer belongs to us. The other is through acceptance, where we recognize that something can continue to have meaning and purpose even after it leaves our lives.
The drunk driver adds another curious symbol. Vehicles often represent the direction we take in life, and a driver who is intoxicated could symbolize the absence of conscious awareness or control. Perhaps the scene was inviting me to contemplate the difference between allowing earthly impulses to direct our lives and moving forward with greater awareness. I cannot say with certainty. But I find it interesting that this experience ended with happiness rather than sorrow. Something was shifting. And then came the third experience.
Part Three: The Dragon and the Angel in the Heavens
After arriving at Grandma Theresa's house, I looked upward into the sky. What I witnessed was extraordinary. There were two constellations. One was a dragon. The other was an angel. The dragon was breathing hot fire upon the angel. I remember being in awe of what I was seeing. I was not frightened. I did not experience it as a battle between good and evil. There was something profoundly mystical about witnessing these two celestial figures in the heavens.
I asked the woman inside the house what the constellations meant, but I departed too quickly to hear her reply. And perhaps that unanswered question is one reason the experience has remained with me for so many years. What did the dragon and angel represent? Why was the dragon breathing fire upon the angel? And why did I witness this immediately after experiencing grief and then acceptance?
The Mystical Teachings of Rumi
Following my experience in 2002, I began researching the symbolism of the dragon and angel. During that search, I came across the mystical teachings of the Sufi poet Rumi, particularly a passage discussed in Light Upon Light: Inspirations from Rumi, translated and interpreted by Andrew Harvey.
Rumi describes humanity as existing between two natures. There is the angelic nature, associated with intelligence, spiritual understanding, and devotion to the Divine. Then there is the animal nature, associated with earthly desire and instinct. Human beings, according to this teaching, possess both. We are spiritual beings living within the conditions and desires of earthly existence. We struggle. We desire. We suffer. We love. We become attached. We experience loss. And through these experiences, we are given opportunities to develop greater awareness. When I first encountered this teaching, I felt it offered an important connection to my astral projection. But today, 24 years later, I see another possibility that feels even more meaningful.
The Dragon's Fire: A Symbol of Spiritual Purification
In Christianity, the dragon is frequently associated with the forces of evil, especially in the Book of Revelation, where a great dragon battles Michael and his angels. Yet dragons have different meanings across spiritual traditions. In alchemical symbolism, dragons can represent powerful forces of transformation. And fire itself has long represented purification, renewal, and spiritual refinement.
In the Bible, spiritual purification is sometimes compared to precious metals being refined through fire. Gold must withstand tremendous heat before its impurities can be removed. And perhaps that is what I was witnessing. What if the dragon was not attempting to destroy the angel, but was instead participating in its transformation? What if the fire represented the intensity of earthly experience…the suffering, passion, grief, love, and challenges through which our spiritual nature develops? And what if the angel represented that higher part of ourselves capable of withstanding the flames?
I am particularly drawn to this interpretation because I remember feeling awe rather than fear. I did not witness the angel's destruction. I witnessed the dragon breathing fire upon it. To me, there is a difference. Perhaps the angel was not helpless. Perhaps the angel could withstand the fire. Perhaps the fire was revealing its strength.
The more I contemplate this imagery, the more I am reminded that spiritual awakening does not necessarily come through escaping the difficulties of human existence. Sometimes it comes through living them. We are changed by our experiences. We are refined by our suffering. And sometimes the very things that appear to threaten our peace become the catalysts for our greatest transformations.
Three Experiences, One Spiritual Journey
Now, when I look at all three parts of my April 2, 2002 astral projection, I see a beautiful progression. The first experience was about attachment. My childhood property represented my roots, family, memories, and the physical world I had known. Seeing it changed brought grief because I wanted to hold on to what once was.
The second experience was about acceptance. The dually truck had passed into another family's life. Instead of feeling sorrow, I was happy that they were enjoying something that had once belonged to me.
The third experience was about transformation. The dragon and angel appeared in the heavens, perhaps representing the earthly and spiritual aspects of our existence. And between those forces was fire. The fire of transformation.
What a fascinating progression: from grief, to acceptance, to the possibility of spiritual refinement. Perhaps the three experiences were showing me something about the journey of the soul. We become attached to people, places, possessions, and identities. Life changes those things. At times, we resist and suffer. But gradually, through awareness and acceptance, we begin to understand that love does not require possession and that the essence of who we are is not defined solely by the things we can hold on to. Our earthly experiences become the fire through which we grow.
Returning Home Twenty-Four Years Later
There is one final reflection I want to share. When I returned to my childhood property on my most recent visit, I no longer saw it through the same eyes. I saw beauty. I saw the magic of a place that had shaped so much of my early life. And I felt such gratitude that my brother still lives in our childhood home. The property has changed over the years, but something precious remains. The barn is still there. Our home is still there. And the memories are still alive.
Perhaps the greatest change was not in the land at all. Perhaps it was in me. The woman who once cried in an astral experience over the transformation of her childhood property could return years later and recognize its beauty without needing everything to remain as it once was. And isn't that, in its own way, a kind of spiritual transformation?
I think again about the dragon breathing fire upon the angel. Perhaps the angel represents the eternal qualities of the soul—love, wisdom, compassion, and awareness. Perhaps the dragon represents the tremendous forces of life that challenge and transform us. Not necessarily opposing forces of good and evil, but different aspects of existence participating in the mystery of our becoming.
The angel does not need to escape the fire. Perhaps it needs to pass through it. And perhaps, like the angel, we discover something essential about ourselves through the very experiences we once feared would destroy us. I do not claim to know with certainty what I witnessed that night in April 2002. But I do believe that some of our most meaningful dreams and mystical experiences continue to unfold within our understanding long after we awaken.
Sometimes we must live another 24 years before we can return to an old journal and recognize a meaning we were not yet ready to see. And sometimes we discover that the fire we once witnessed in the heavens has been quietly transforming us all along.
- Madison Meadows
You may also enjoy: My Astral Projection: Angel and Dragon Original Dream of Angel and Dragon
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Original astral projection recorded April 2, 2002.
Spiritual references: Rumi's teachings on the angelic and animal natures of humanity, Revelation 12:7–9, Malachi 3:2–3, and 1 Peter 1:6–7.