The Fall of 1999
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I heard a knock on my door and when I opened it my heart fluttered with a million butterflies and I fell into you. It felt like a long-lost lover had finally returned home. You caught me off guard when my defenses were down. You said you were there to pick up your moped. You said you use to live in this house. How strange our paths crossed at a moment when I was living with your friend and unknowing to me your girlfriend was in the car waiting for you. You said you were in town for the Monet exhibit. That day changed my life. I didn't know it then but my heart chakra was blown wide open and I experienced myself as a multidimensional being. Soon after that, the dreams of you came. To this day your soul still finds me when I'm sleeping, somewhere between this world and the next.
my biggest regret all these years is never telling you how i
feel about you.
i let my fear silence me.
i was too young back then to have the courage to speak my
truth.
i regret leaving things as i did with you.
maybe things would be different for us both if only i came
to you first.
i never took into consideration how my writing would impact
your life and cause ripples in their wake.
i apologize for not being sensitive to how my words would
change your life.
i feel the choices i made only made things harder on you-
your marriage and friendships.
i accept your silence; whereas it's been what i've struggled
with most.
i've grown in ways i never imagined.
please know i have restored peace in my life.
that where i'm at has only felt possible because of you.
i will always be grateful for your invisible love and
strength.
of course, i have to keep going and finish writing the rest
of my story.
i don't know how to write our end.
maybe this is it.
maybe it's not.
the ending is up to you and my door always open to you.
it is my sincere hope that one day you will tell me your
truth.
even if you think it would be hard for me to hear, i still
want the truth.
how does the saying go?
the truth shall set you free.
i think it would set us both free!
