Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Surviving Your Memory

Beloved,


Long ago I forgave you. In all our past lives, I always forgive you and always I have to let you go. I've done this so often, and so often you fight with yourself for loving a woman like me. I know I am the fire that burns forcing you to feel your wounds and to know your soul.

I know you must be suffering like me and the silence is killing us both. Often in my mind's eye I play out the words you would say to me. Sometimes there are no words, just silence and your gaze penetrating the thickness of the veil that hides my heart. Our souls then merging into a field beyond the human eye that only love can conceive, foster, and exploit!

Then my concentration breaks and I am alone again. Tears come to remind me that what I feel for you is real. The karmic bond between us unbreakable, and yet so much left undone.

I don't want to live the rest of my life without you in it. My whole life has been a steady dose of pain and then 21 years ago you gave meaning to that pain. Every word left unsaid still stirs my heart and with it all the imaginings of what we could be.

I am moving forward, but I am doing so against my own will. Now it's just a matter of surviving your memory. Now I'm doing it to prove to myself I don't need you.

You've taught me to depend on no one but myself. You are the master of needing no one and relying only on yourself. So, thank you for the karmic lesson. I needed to learn this.

If our paths ever do cross again, I’m sure I’ll be unrecognizable to you. I don’t doubt that you will have changed too. I hope you still look at me with the eyes of a long-lost lover finally returning home. May God always be with you and me!!

Fondly,

Sapphire

If It's Meant For You

 If it’s meant for you, it won’t be toxic...

It won’t bring out your insecurities or your fears or the worst in you because it will bring peace into your life and into your heart...

If it’s meant for you, it won’t feel like a burden... You won’t have to explain to anyone why it’s not as bad as they think it is and you won’t have to go to sleep wondering if you’re lying to yourself because you’d be sure of it...

You’d be sure that it’s right for you...

If it’s meant for you, it won’t feel like a war...

A war with yourself because you’re letting it drag on or because you can’t get out of it...

A war with your friends because they can all see that you’re settling...

A war with love because part of you knows that it shouldn’t be this hard...

If it’s meant for you, you won’t have to constantly question if it is...

You won’t have to look for signs or ask for advice or look for confirmation that it’s right. You’d just know...

It will feel like home...

It will make you feel safe...

It will give you one less thing to worry about... It will be healthy for you...

If it’s meant for you, you won’t have to chase after it...

You won’t have to try too hard or turn your life upside down for it to work...

You won’t have to lose yourself so you can keep it...

If it’s meant for you, it will bring you closer to who you really are...

It will enhance all the beautiful parts of you and make you more open to love, more nurturing, more compassionate and more forgiving...

If it’s meant for you, it won’t break your heart... There may be disappointments or letdowns or conflicts but it will never break your spirit, it will never close your heart off and it will never let you suppress your innermost feelings...

Because what’s meant for you doesn’t come around very often, but when it does, when it’s not another lesson or another mistake, when it’s finally yours after everything you’ve endured and everything you’ve been through, it comes like a wave washing over you.

It feels like home.

Reference ~Rania Naim

Women Rising

i'm sure

the independent

brave women

are killing it

right now

during this Covid-19

we've survived through

many storms

weathered abusive relationships

and we are raising kids

teaching them

how the world really is

not sugar coating it

as we live

our daily lives

more awake

than ever before

we see

and recognize

we are the change

that needs to happen

and we're raising our kids

to be more in tune

with the inner

than the outer

we embrace one another

and ourselves

as we are

but committed

to healing and growing

because we know

that the way the world

has been running

can't function

in chaos, deception, and greed anymore

we brave women

are rising to our true calling and power

and growing in numbers

professing:

this is not a man's world anymore!!

 

Soulmates Reconnecting

 

i'm sure of it

i loved you

in another lifetime

our karmic paths

have criss-crossed

and we meet again

some call it fate

but i promised you

a lifetime ago

i would always

find you

and you promised

you would carry me

forever in your heart

and send out feelers

so you could be found

every heartache

painstaking life event

led me to you

this invisible force

pulling me to you

i don't doubt you love me

how could i

with one look

in your eyes

and the memory

of us

comes rushing back

like it was yesterday

Become the Witness

 

We are all fucked up on some level, We all come in with our baggage to work with and on. No human being escapes this unless they are an avatar with a different purpose. So the biggest illusion in my eyes is that we need to be perfect and if we are not then we need to forgive ourselves. Our fuck up ness is always going to surface, the difference between a spiritual warrior and one caught up in the herd illusion is self acceptance followed by conscious self observation without judgment. Without this there will always be a split between who we think we should be and who we are, we will judge others as harshly as we judge ourselves. When we simply witness we have already won because the Witness is the higher self and there will be response coming from awareness instead of reaction coming from habitual programs and self rejection.

Reference~ https://www.facebook.com/sacred.dreams/

Wild Love

he's in love

with your wildness

it draws him in

like a moth to a flame

he sees you're courageous

BOLD

and living the life

you've designed

he knows you are his

that he possesses your heart

he also knows

you need space

and can't be led

by him or anyone

he's wild about you

he may not show it outwardly

but i assure you darling

your wildness

is pulling him in

Allow Sadness

 Sadness is a heavier energy, lurking just beneath all that fear. Fear keeps the sadness locked in place, by preventing us from ever addressing, honestly and authentically, the fact that we don’t want to feel our own broken hearts.

It’s a defense mechanism that keeps the sadness at bay. We don’t want to open ourselves to our own sadness. Who wants to be that vulnerable? All that loss, that grief, that avalanche of sorrow?

Why would we sign on for such a thing? So many times people tell me they’re afraid that if they start feeling their sadness, they’ll never stop crying.

But here is a radical idea: The ability to be sad is a blessing.

In our childhoods, we were taught that sadness is a sign of weakness. Remember your own childhood: Were you ever called a crybaby? Or made to feel ashamed of your tears? Did you somehow internalize the message that you were supposed to stuff those feelings, put on a brave face, chin up and all that?

I’m here to tell you that if you want to release the vibrational density you’re carrying around, you need to do the precise opposite. Feel it. Feel it all. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we are experiencing a blessing. We are offering ourselves the opportunity to see and experience life authentically, without defenses or screens keeping us front our own true nature.

There is an exquisiteness to sadness and pain. It as a quality and resonance that is unique. It’s a way we all can relate to one another, because we all feel sadness. Were it not for our judgement of that emotion, no one would have a problem feeling it.

Sadness is socially unacceptable, we’re conditioned from day one to understand sadness as a sign of weakness, so people refuse to experience it, and it accumulates weight.

Its density grows in the body. Look at the body language and posture of someone who is experiencing a depression: They seem to carry a weight on their shoulders. They’re hunched over. They can hardly get out of bed. It’s like a weeping willow tree as opposed to mighty oak. The oak tree is firm and elegant and upright. The weeping willow has allowed the burdens of life to bend it.

The key is to shift your experience of sadness. Grief? Loss? Tears pouring down your cheeks? Good. Feel it all. Know that you are one of 7.2 billion people on this planet who experience the same thing.

The rejection of sadness further separates you from your own wholeness. Lean into it. Breathe. Accept. Embrace and embody the blessings of sadness, because where there is acceptance, judgement no longer has any power.

When you let this energy wash over you, there will be an intensity to it, but as you keep allowing it to flow through you, it will eventually diminish. Allow life to do its job.~

~Panache Desai