My Inner Child Healing Meditation

 From Journal Entry 11/11/17

I have been spending a lot of my time on healing my heart. When my husband left in January I felt abandoned. It brought up memories from my childhood of when my father left. I've been dedicated to this process of healing and decided to try a Inner Child Healing Meditation. It ended up being one of the best and most healing experiences I have ever had. The guided meditation I found on Youtube. Below there is a link to the video.

The Meditation:

I laid in my bed with one hand on my Solar Plexus chakra and the other on my Heart chakra. I focused on my breath: intake 4 counts, out 4 counts. The guided meditation led to the experience of me observing my Inner Child being cradled in my father's arms. I could feel how safe and loved the little girl felt.

I cried for her. She felt loved and protected by her father. Then suddenly, she felt fear and abandoned when he left her. I approached my Inner Child as my adult self and comforted her. I told her Oompa did not abandon her, he very much was in her life and loved her very much. I reminded her she was not alone and there's nothing to be afraid of. That there are plenty of people in her life that love her and care about her. I told her how brave and strong she is.

This experience helped me reshape that event in my life and gave me perspective on my own feelings of abandonment that I am going through right now. It gave me much needed healing and reminded me that my dad will always be there for me.

Link to meditation:
https://youtu.be/Zatctg4ouSg

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: A New Name

Beloved,

I am seeking a new name for you and I. A word that does not keep us split apart like two halves of a disk moon. When the moon appears half full, her other half is half empty. But this is not so to the moon. She is a whole disk and thinking of her as only a half is a lie!

Beloved, I walk in your shadow. I feel you in this body. You speak intimately to my heart. How can this be?! Any description of you and I fails to articulate your presence in me.

What I possess and what I have gained by knowing you exceeds any treasure of the richest king on earth! For Darling, I possess the companion of my soul that will accompany me even after death. What more can a girl ask for?

P.S.  Even if you came to me in your drunken state, I wouldn't want you to leave. I'd ask you to stay.

All of my Affection,
Sapphire

Transcendental Consciousness: 7th Chakra Awakening

Those who attain states of transcendental consciousness seldom discuss these experiences, since the audience of those who can comprehend them is small. Sri Aurobindo offers these words:

[Such] spiritual consciousness is all light, peace, power, bliss. If one can live...partly in it or keep himself constantly open to it, he [or she] receives enough of this spiritual light and strength and happiness to carry him securely through all the shocks of life. What one gains by opening to this spiritual consciousness depends on what one seeks from it: if it is peace, one gets peace; if it is light or knowledge, one lives in a great light and receives a knowledge deeper and truer than any the normal mind can acquire; if it is strength or power, he gets a spiritual strength for the inner life or Yogic power to govern the outer work and action; if it is happiness, he enters into a beatitude for greater than and joy or happiness that the ordinary human life can give.

No accepted vocabulary exists for most of the states and phenomena that can be experienced within transcendental consciousness. It is a realm beyond words. And even if we had such words, they would be like the shadows on the wall of Plato's cave compared to the realities they would represent.

Seventh Chakra Possibilities 

Draws on universal life force
Finds beauty in everyone & everything
Feels one with all people & beings
Has purified mind & senses
Feels cradled & guided by divine spirit 

Reference~ Victor Daniels 

A Talk With God

A conversation with God will go something like this:

God: What have you done with the life I gave you?
Reply: I am ashamed to say very little.

God: What have you done with your mind?
Reply: I am ashamed to say I filled it with nonsense and worldly things.

God: What have you done with your sight?
Reply: I am ashamed to say my eyes looked upon perversion and wickedness.

God: What did you do with your hands?
Reply: I am ashamed to say for greed and theft.

God: Where did your feet travel that I gave you?
Reply: I am ashamed to say they stumbled around in taverns where I surrounded myself with lewdness.

God: What did you use your speech for?
Reply: I am ashamed to say Lord I used it to curse your name.

Your life is a preparation for your wedding with Eternity. How you use your life that He gave you will determine your lot in the next life. Wisely seek Him, know Him, and serve Him.
 

Hiding Away

Here I sit,
hiding away from love.
I fear that if love finds me
he will see my brokenness,
he will see through me
and know my pain.
He will want to fix me.
He will know I am in deep despair,
and I won't be able to mask it.
So I am hiding out,
in my safe place-
Where I can be a damn train wreck!
And I don't give a damn that I am broken.
I'm a hot, beautiful mess and that's okay.

The Spirit of Jezebel: The Narcissist, Part 2

How To Identify A Jezebel Spirit (Narcissist):

1.  Refuses to admit wrong doing. To accept responsibility would violate the core of insecurity and pride from which it operates.

2.  Takes credit for everything.

3.  Uses people to accomplish her/his agenda. Let's others do her/his dirty work. The Jezebel gets another's emotions stirred up, than lets that person go into a rage.

4.  Withholds information. The Jezebel spirit is a form of witchcraft. The Jezebel loves to control other people.

5.  Jezebel is threatened by prophetic ministry. Reason being someone with a prophetic gift will be able to identify the Jezebel spirit and will attack it.

6.  Volunteers for anything. Does projects for recognition. Her/his motives is never pure.

7.  Lies. A person with a Jezebel spirit will lie even when they don't have to and are hard to detect. She/he can make you believe anything she/he wants to through manipulation.

8.  Ignores people. They will ignore you when they disagree with you.

9.  Never gives credit or gives gratitude. She/he cannot acknowledge or go out of her/his way when someone has done something right.

10. Criticizes everyone. Characteristic of a controller. She/he has to be the one that looks good.

11. One "up"menship. Jezebel feels threatened by anyone who steals the lime light or to anyone whom is a threat to her/his power or control.

12. Spiritualizes everything. Explaining it off as God. This prevents her/him from owning up to responsibility required of her. The implication is always, "You've got a problem, I don't."

13. Insubordinate. Her/his main desire is for control and power in work and in relationships.

14. Is pushy and domineering. A person with a Jezebel spirit pressures you to do things.

15. Uses the element of surprise. Likes to catch you off guard, feels a sense of control by doing so.

16. Sows seeds of discord. It is common for her/him to tell half-truths to implicate another person in your eyes. Will also isolate you from your family and friends.

17. Commands attention. When someone else is recognized, she/he will quickly undermine the person's accomplishments verbally.

18. Vengeful. If you contradict or confront one, get ready to become her/his worst enemy. You are target of her/his fiercest venom. A Jezebel will stop at nothing to destroy your reputation.

19. Attempts to make you look like the Jezebel. If the person is confronted, she/he will skillfully twist the entire situation, trying to make the innocent person look like the one who is attempting to control.

20. Insinuates disapproval. A Jezebel will often imply disapproval to those under her/his control. The controlled person feels no freedom to express an opinion.

21. Knows it all. Quick to express her/his opinion in any area.

22. Ambitious all for self. The Jezebel has strong desire but all for self.

23. Gift giving. Loves to give gifts as a form of control as the Jezebel uses gifts to make you feel obligated to her/him.

24. Independent. No one has the right to tell her/him what to do.

25. Religious. She/he will behave like she/he is holy or a Christian, but they are not.

26. Hides. The person may seem normal for a period, exhibiting none of these classic traits. Then suddenly without warning a situation will arise, once again with the spirit of Jezebel taking control and wreaking havoc over lives.

Reference~Lyn Leahz Ministries
https://youtu.be/finSGVhndFI

The Spirit of Jezebel- Part 1

The following is from Lyn Leahz Ministries. In her research she shows the similarity in symptoms  of the Jezebel spirit to a NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder) type. You can listen to her full commentary on the youtube link below.

Jezebel was a she devil, a heartless woman. The spirit of Jezebel disguises itself as a good person, but is a very evil person. Jezebel was a heathen woman that married Ahab, the king of Israel.(1 Kings 16:31) Ahab was fascinated by her beauty and forcefulness of character, and fell for her. Ahab went and erected an alter for Baal, worshipping and serving Baal. Jezebel was ambitious and proud, eagerly she seized the opportunity to share the throne of a king. By doing so, Jezebel seduced God's king of Israel with her beauty, wittiness, and charm. Spiritual and moral disintegration was brought on by Jezebel's determination and effort to destroy the worship of Jehovah.

Jezebel possessed an extraordinary force of character. She was a ardent adulterer, a dominating wife, a corrupt tree, a treacherous schemer, and she loved personal adornment. She died a horrible death. She fell out of a window and was eaten by dogs.

The spirit of Jezebel is very active in the world and is destroying lives. This spirit has been responsible for tearing down many churches, pastors, people with prophetic ministries, and is responsible for breaking up many marriages, friendships, companies; along with getting people to commit murder and suicide. It is a very dangerous, evil, wicked spirit. (1 Kings 18:4-19)

Reference~ Bible Gateway & Lyn Leahz Ministries

https://youtu.be/finSGVhndFI