A Visitor In My Own Life

Today I prayed.
Today I cried.
Today I asked God,
"Why do some things have to die?"

I sat to listen.
I sat to hear-
Words that spoke
Intimately in my ear.

Then I heard a voice-
A definite reply
That answered my question-
Why some things die.

The voice said:
"O Dear Child,
You were born down there-
But your soul was born up here.
Your time is short
On this earth.
Your time is precious
And much you must learn. 
So when you cry
And feel a lot of pain-
Remember your home
You'll return to someday.
Take care of those
I give to you.
Take care of those
who mistreat you.
I love them all,
I love them upright.
But remember Child,
You are a visitor in your own life."

Rumi: Hatch The Helplessness

Pray the prayer that is the essence of every ritual:
"God I have no hope. I am torn to shreds. You are my First, my Last, and my only Refuge."
Do not do daily prayers like a bird, pecking its head up and down. Prayer is an egg. Hatch out the total helplessness inside.

Reference~ Rumi

Paper and Ink

When thoughts come
They come quickly
Like a thief in the night.
They do not announce themselves.
They break in
And demand paper and pen.
They take over my hand
And command me to write.
Sometimes at dawn,
Sometimes at midnight,
Sometimes while I bathe,
Sometimes while I busy myself.
I have to obey-
Drop everything
And grab paper and ink!

A Letter To My Reader

Oh Reader, if you are offended by my words, I am not at fault. Sometimes when I pick up the pen I am a jealous lover. Other times an angry wife. And then there are times when I am a curious child. Each written work a unique piece of my soul garment.
My words are not seeking your approval. For it is God that commands my hand. So to those whom loathe me, you will continue to speak ill of me and that is your right. I am certain that even you serve a purpose in my destiny. And dear Reader, I only rush out now to greet it with open arms!

Affectionately,
Madison Michelle

 

My Story: My First Love

I was 14 when I first thought I had fallen in love. He was a junior in high school and I was a freshman. We met at our church's youth group. I was only allowed to date him through church activities. My mom also allowed him over to the house after Sunday worship.

The memory that stands out for me is a fight we got into one Wednesday night at youth group. Often I'd arrive early and I would look forward to spending the extra time with him. On this particular night, I said something that wounded his ego. He physically attacked me. A friend of his was there and was able to get him to stop. I remember his friend yelled, "Stop! What are you doing?"

Like most nights after our youth group, he would take me home. I had held back the tears the whole evening. As soon as I got out of his car, I remember running down the stairs to the front of the house and crying. My heart was broken.

I did stay with him until I finished my Freshman year and moved to Phoenix. That night changed any doubts of me moving away from him. I didn't want to be with someone that I feared. So it made it easier for me to leave and start a new life.

What got me through my heart break was music. I fell in love with the band Chicago. I listened to their lyrics of love and heartbreak that brought me tears to ease my pain. 
To this day I rely on music as a way to connect with my pain body and for healing. Music effects our mood and our overall well being. Don't underestimate the power of music. It can transform your suffering. Our lives are a symphony strung together with emotional highs and lows. If you could put these moments to musical notes, you would hear the Music of the Spheres.

~Recommend Reading: The Music of The Spheres- Music, Science and The Natural Order of The Universe by Jamie James

 

Sapphire's Letter To Layla: Your Sadness

Dearest Layla,

How are destinies are forever intertwined! Your sadness grieves my heart. I feel your pain, doubt, and fear. I also am filled with pain, doubt, and fear. My heart is heavy right now. My soul needs to grieve my loss. When the Light breaks through the darkness that is casted all around me, please take comfort in knowing that I only wish to fulfill my destiny and do not desire to offend God.

It pleases me much to know I am in your good grace again. Trust in God dearest Layla for He knows your heart and loves you.

God Bless,
Sapphire

Friction Improves The Work

harsh words
slight tongue
a closed fist
a bitter nun

a wingless angel
a burnt out sun
a moonless night
a wife without love