Madison Meadows Spiritual Blog: A Journey into Mysticism, Dreams, Twin Flames, & Healing

Curse me, wish me dead. All the mean words you said. Twisted thoughts, empty space- evil on a mother's face. Days spent hiding from you. Nights spent hiding in my room. Behind locked doors I say my prayers. Oblivious to the presence that is hiding there. As I lay in my bed drifting off to sleep, I bury your secrets deep inside of me. Tossing and turning alone in my bed. I feel eyes staring directly at my head. My heart pounding, it begins to race. This thing in my room has no face. Its heavy weight weighing down on me. I can't move, I am not free. I try to yell out, I try to shout. No one can hear me cause nothing comes out. Suddenly I am unable to breathe, I look around the room there's nothing I can see. As I slowly began to let go, it begins to release it's hold. In the morning as I awake, I find myself on the floor- next to my bed I lay. This nightmare does not end, Mother curses me yet again.

Love told me all of His secrets.  With my heart filled with joy, I went and shared it with everyone.  I thought everyone needed to know the simple truth. No one believed a word I said.  Some said I was crazy.  Some said I was a fool.  Others said I must of come down with some illness.  And others said I have a flightful imagination. God's sane lovers are insane.  They are crazy in love with God.  The rest of the world is insane for not fleeing from the insanity of the world to the only true sane reality Love.

In the shadows of the noon day, Sapphire's body tingled with numbness.  Her chest throbbed with pain.  Sapphire felt herself slipping away. It was in her wretched state Sapphire consoled her heart.  She begged for mercy and vowed to bare the ache in her breasts.  Deep down Sapphire feared being forgotten by Arion. When the consciousness of Sapphire's fears reached Arion, he became overwhelmed with grief.  He had tried to distance himself from her in hopes of numbing the pain. Arion realized his greatest weakness was his cowardice to face his feelings.  He feared drowning in the sorrows of his heart.  Arion knew he could no longer mask his short comings. In his new understanding of love, his sorrows were the gentle reminders of the depth of his love.  Arion felt Sapphire's trials and tribulations that she bore.  What moved him deeply was her willingness to endure them with no complaints.  Arion contemplated her heart and all her vi...

I fear you are not real. I fear to be in your presence. I fear you will not speak. I fear I am insane. I fear loving you to much. I fear not loving you enough. I fear I will never see you again. I fear you do not feel the same. I fear I will die and never know the truth. I fear to spend eternity without you.

22.  Man believes that what he cannot see does not exist, and his physical eyes cannot see in the dark.  This is a very primitive solution and has led to a denial of the spiritual eye.  The escape from darkness involves two stages: A. The recognition that darkness cannot hide.  This step usually entails fear. B.  The recognition that there is nothing you want to hide, even if you could.  This step brings escape from fear. 27.  You are the work of God, and His work is wholly lovable and wholly loving.  This is how man must think of himself in his heart because this is what he is. 33.  Man's mind can be possessed by illusions, but his spirit is eternally free.  If a mind perceives without love, it perceives an empty shell and is unaware of the spirit within it. 36.  The Soul is in a state of grace forever.  Man's reality is only his Soul.  Therefore, man is in a state of grace forever.  Reference~ A Course I...

A man who lived by selling water found He'd very little left; he looked around And saw another water-seller there- "Have you got any water you could spare?" He asked.  "No fool, I certainly have not," The other snapped; "make do with what you've got!" "O give me some," the man began to plead; "I'm sick of what I have; it's yours I need." When Adam's heart grew tired of all he knew, He yearned for wheat, a substance strange and new- And naked suffered love's relentless pain; He disappeared in love's intensity- The old and new were gone and so was he; He was annihilated, lost, made naught- Nothingness swallowed all his hands had sought. To turn from what we are, to yearn and die Is not for us to choose or to deny.' Reference~ The Conference of the Birds, Farid Ud-Din Attar

With one look the Beloved started a fire in my heart.  All my wounds multiplied, my body became absent of itself, and I lost all my senses.  Now I see with the eyes of the soul what was always there.  The Beloved holding the torch at the threshold of Eternity.  Granting me entry only if my love survives this hell.