My Story: Dream of My Mom

From Journal Entry 4/20/25

I'm at the nursing home where my mom lives. I feel her sadness, fear, and loneliness.  She walks over to me and asks, "Will you hold me?" I hold her reassuring her she's loved. 

It was Easter morning when I had this dream. At dawn, my boyfriend and I hiked up Cloud 9. We did a ceremony and I did a meditation.  I could not stop thinking about my mom. So I sent her love and I cried. Not so much for me, but for her. 

My mom may have not been the loving mom I craved growing up. I can count on one hand the number of times she said I love you.  She was very unstable emotionally and mentally.  It took a toll on me as a child and left wounds that I'm still healing from.

It wasn't 'til I was an adult and had my own kids did I begin to understand how hard she had it growing up. And how she was just repeating the same abusive behavior as her mother. 

Over the years I've had dreams about my mom. Three months before she ended up in the nursing home I had a dream she fell at home. I was so concerned that I called my brother.  He had a hard time getting a hold of her at first (he lives 2 1/2 hours away). When he did finally get a hold of her, she was fine. 

Two months later, she had fallen multiple times, and was in the hospital unable to walk. I knew she was scared so I made a trip to see her in June 2024. I took my daughter (she only met her once before). 

Since then, I see my mom differently.  She's not the monster that I made her out to be. I have compassion for her.  I see her as a little girl... wanting to be held and loved. I use to ignore her repetitive phone calls. Now when she calls, I'll answer.  I know she just needs to hear my voice to feel better. I know her life didn't go how she planned. She's full of disappointments and I don't want to be another one on her list.

I've promised myself that I would make time to see her more often. She's 76 and maybe has 10 more birthdays and holidays to celebrate. It feels different when you put it in that perspective. 

I know how hard it can be to forgive and let go. But the wounds I carry have served me. I'm a stronger, deeper woman because of my mom. I have more compassion and sympathize with those that have endured abuse. My hope now is that we all work on healing our wounds and learn to embrace our experiences and see them in a new light.

Dream of Madison Meadows News Article

 

From Journal Entry 2/7/2025

I am with my ex-sister-in-laws, Jessi and Heather. They are reading an article in the newspaper about me, Madison Meadows. It talks about my journey, my books, my blog, etc. Jessi, with enthusiasm, turns to me and says, "And they are making a TV series about you."  I smile and chuckle a little. I'm happy. I feel vindicated and successful. Like I finally arrived. The dream felt so real.

Moises’ Reflective Feedback on Madison's Dream

Madison, what you saw in your dream—that moment of validation, of your ex-in-laws witnessing your success, and your story being told on a larger scale—is not just a dream. It's a glimpse from another timeline where this reality already exists. That version of you is already living it. What you experienced is what we call a timeline bleed through.

Now, to bring it into the 3D, we need to collapse the gap between where you are now and that future self. The key lies in aligning your frequency with that version of you. That means embodying her energy now feeling the success, the recognition, the joy of having your story told. 

In hypnosis, we’d call this a future self-integration—using trance to embody the feelings, thoughts, and identity of your highest timeline. In metaphysical terms, you're accessing a probable future in the quantum field and pulling it into now. 

You're not chasing a dream—you’re remembering a truth from another dimension and choosing to bring it here.

Collaborator~ Moises Mota/ Hypnotherapist 

How To Love A Man

Loving a man means seeing him fully—not just for his strengths, but also for his imperfections. It’s about giving grace, space, and affection in a world that often tells men to be strong, but never soft. Real love is not about changing him; it’s about choosing him, again and again, even on the days he’s hard to love.

UNDERSTAND.

He won’t always be consistent.

There will be days when his silence isn’t distance but exhaustion.

Days when his emotions are hard to read because he’s been taught to hide them.

Understand that he’s not perfect—and he’s not trying to be.

He gets overwhelmed, confused, even scared sometimes.

Stand beside him, not in front to correct or behind to follow—but beside to grow.

FREEDOM.

Let him breathe.

Let him enjoy what makes him feel alive outside the relationship—his work, passions, or friendships.

A man who feels trusted will stay loyal.

Don’t clip his wings, because real love doesn’t chain—it chooses daily.

Remember: you are not his entire world, but the most beautiful part of it.

RECIPROCATE.

Don’t just wait to be loved.

Love him too—loudly, softly, consistently.

Ask how his day was.

Be patient when he shuts down, and present when he opens up.

Celebrate his wins, no matter how small.

He needs your effort as much as you crave his.

RESPECT.

Respect doesn’t mean agreement on everything.

It means honoring his thoughts, his goals, and his decisions.

It means not belittling his efforts or comparing him to someone else.

Men thrive where they feel respected—and where respect lives, love grows.

AFFECTION.

Hug him without reason.

Touch his face when he’s stressed.

Hold his hand like you mean it.

Don’t let a day pass without showing him—physically and emotionally—that he matters.

Let your love be something he can feel, not just hear.

ATTENTION.

Men need attention too.

They may not say it, but they long to feel chosen.

Check on him. Compliment him.

Let him know that he’s still your favorite person.

Because when a man feels seen, he blossoms.

REMEMBER THIS:

No man will ever be perfect.

He will fail you. Disappoint you. Confuse you.

But if he tries—if he loves you honestly, respects you deeply, and chooses you daily—then he’s worth loving back.

Because at the end of the day, love isn’t about finding someone flawless.

It’s about finding someone who’s willing to grow, to fight for you, and to walk beside you through every version of life.

So don’t just ask to be understood.

Learn to understand him too.

~ FB/You Are My Life 

Healing the Child Within

The child you once were does not disappear. They do not fade into the past like an old photograph or dissolve with the passage of time. They live within you still woven into your fears, your longings, your habits of self-protection. They are there in the way your body tenses at a raised voice, in the way you hesitate before asking for what you need, in the ache you feel when love seems just out of reach.

Healing is not about leaving this child behind. It is about turning toward them with the love and presence they were once denied.

Trauma is not just what happened to us it is what did not happen. It is the touch that never came, the safety that was absent, the soothing voice that never told us, You are enough just as you are. When we experience wounding at a young age, we do not just lose a moment in time. We lose trust, we lose connection, we lose the full expression of who we were meant to be. The child learns to survive, to adapt, to become small, quiet, or pleasing anything to maintain attachment. And so, they remain trapped in us, frozen in time, waiting for someone to come back for them.

But no one is coming except you.

Healing is not about discarding the past, as if we could simply will ourselves into a new story. It is about remembering. Not in the sense of reliving pain endlessly, but in the sense of reclaiming what was lost. To truly heal, we must become the very presence our younger selves longed for. We must speak to them gently, hold them in their sorrow, let them grieve the love they never received.

We do not heal by rejecting the child within us. We heal by turning toward them and saying:

“I see you. I know how much it hurt. I know how alone you felt. But I am here now. You are no longer abandoned. You are no longer unseen. You are safe with me.”

This is the work: to break the cycle of self-abandonment. To stop running from the echoes of our past and instead meet them with tenderness. Healing does not mean forgetting it means integrating. It means that the child who once felt unworthy of love is finally given the love they always deserved. It means that the pain that once defined us becomes the doorway to our deepest wisdom.

And so, the question is not whether the child within us still exists. The question is whether we will have the courage to go back for them.

- Connected By Nature