Madison Meadows Spiritual Blog: A Journey into Mysticism, Dreams, Twin Flames, & Healing

no need to feel sorry for me i lost an ex that drank to much smoked way to much pot cheated repeatedly angered easily lied often projected fear shifted blame just to name a few him, he lost a devoted, faithful wife

you were everything to me when we met i felt a surge of power through my soul and then for years it felt like i was carrying  the sun and the ocean inside of me years have now gone by since i last saw you  and now i feel a void where once you occupied that space within me it is frightning to no longer feel your presence now i have to put you in a safe place in my mind to know love like yours exists makes it hard for me to find another love because nothing compares  to you  not when you've  known love beyond the boundaries of physical connection and felt a greater power with no limits that can only be described as  a love you thought was impossible 

my whole life i've been surviving depression  surviving abuse surviving in this world  that has made me at times feel more isolated than connected to others i know i'm damaged but i have done my best to heal my wounds i don't live in the past but my past shadows me in my present relationships everyday i fight this everyday i accept me for me and give those that i love my best i know i'm imperfect  but it hasn't stopped me if anything it's made me more determined  to fight back with a positive attitude and to love those who hurt like i do

i've  lived through many disasters  and survived the aftermath  i've found strengh within me that i didn't know i had the more obstacles i overcome the bravier  i am it's like learning to adapt to a world of uncertainties  with a new attitude  it's no longer  playing the victim role but stepping into the warrior you were born to be it's putting on armor not to shield yourself from others but always being prepared  to defend your values and sometimes let's face it  it pisses others off when they know you won't buy into their bullshit and be bullied you can act tough or be tough  in a way that shields the elderly the children  the ones who can't defend themselves from assholes or bigots or thugs you and i are needed in a big way and someone has to be courageous  enough  to rise to the call remember that when you're going  through a disaster  you feel you can't live through ...

tattooed on this canvas is my pain once blank now it fills up with words that i use  to describe my heartbreak bitterness anger frustration remorse and more writing it down keeps me true to myself and reminds me that i can trust myself to move through this every time a negative emotion surfaces i know i've got this because i showed up for myself and dictated onto paper the screaming voice within

i have found my landing spot closer to heaven than hell with mountain views sure i have work to do on this rustic abode but it's mine and she has good bones the potential is definely there like it is in me to be great and stand out from all the rest yep, me and this house are the perfect match a little rough on the outside but softness and light wanting to burst through