Sleepless Nights

she remembers
the sleepless nights
pacing the floor
looking for you
praying for a phone call
to tell her that you're all right
that you're not in jail
or worse the hospital
how can she forget
the lack of sleep
and the emotional drain
it took on her heart
waiting up for a man
that wanted to be somewhere else
then at home with her
but you had to break her heart
you didn't deserve her
deep down you know this
isn't that why you walked away?
so she'd finally meet the man
that appreciated her heart

Sapphire's Letter to Arion: The War Is Over

Beloved,

Do the arrows of my thoughts reach you? I believe they do for I am still dreaming about you. There is an ancient melody between our two hearts- I swear it! Sometimes sad, sometimes sweet, yet inviting and seductive to our souls. I’ve concluded that you and I are double-natured. Our bodies we leave behind and commingle with one another in a far, distant land, not of this world. Yet I have no proof of it.

I am moving on Beloved, it feels like without you. But I can still feel you stirring the stars in me. I am regaining my strength, and my spirit has lifted from my long battle. If it was a test from the gods, surely I have passed and been promoted. I will rest for now and regain my good health. But alas, the war is over!

Your double-natured counterpart Sapphire

It Hurts You

it hurts you
to watch her go through hell
you want to be there for her
but circumstances beyond your control
prevent you
you want to tell her
everything will be okay
that you will always
be there for her
but you know
that’s not possible
you feel like you’ve abandoned her
that you’ve let her down
but she knows you’re there
in your own way
sometimes coming as a subtle thought
to gently remind her
you are thinking of her
you haven’t forgotten her smile
or the way she makes you feel
and when that thought
is strong enough
she smiles in her heart
and her face lights up
you don’t see it
but i promise you
she knows how much
she means to you
even when you’re so far away
living your life
the best that you know how
she feels you
don’t you love the way she loves you?
how she keeps you feeling alive on the inside?
remember this next time you’re in pain
and ache to hold her
but can’t
remember she loves you regardless

The Finish Line

when i reach
the finish line
(and yes one day i will)
how many people
in my life
will be there
to take all the credit
for my success
when basically i
did it all on my own
i hope for the sake
of saving face
those same people
at least show-up
for my funeral too

The Push You Need

i want to say "thank you"
to all my haters
who forced me
to be brave
outspoken
to stand out
from all others
even you
in my eyes
are the answer to my prayers

Gratitude for Him Leaving

while you were up all night crying
because he left you
he's not
he's making love to the woman
he left you for
so be thankful
he did you a favor sweetheart
all that hurt you feel
is you realizing you betrayed yourself
maybe you should of left him
a long time ago
after the first time
he cheated on you
but hey let's be honest with ourselves
he's not the man
you thought you married
and he's also no longer your problem

The Fire of Kundalini

Kundalini comes from Sanskrit and refers to a cosmic force, energy. It is a pure, divine force. Kunda in Sanskrit means coiled. It’s the same way a serpent sleeps. As the serpent (Kundalini) awakens and travels up the spine, it activates the corresponding powers of the chakras.

Any spiritual practices we perform has its intention of the awakening of this cosmic force (serpent) within us. It is what connects us to the Divine. It functions according to cause and effect. Every manifested thing is subject to cause and effect, and Kundalini is no exception. When the causes are satisfied, the effect is the result.

The most common universal symbol for the Kundalini is the serpent, which is found in every religion. (Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.) It is this serpent that gives wisdom, intelligence. Kundalini is an energy that exists in the body. The true initiate seeks to escape suffering; it is someone tired of the ego, tired of pain, tired of death. The real initiate wants to go back to Eden and has remorse for their pride and their lust and wants to change that. This power of Kundalini is the power of God.

Our nature does not want this. Nature only wants to perpetuate itself. Nature does not want or need us to believe in God or not. Nature wants our energy. Every organism in nature transforms energy and transmits energy. Human beings are organisms that digest, transform, and release forces. And those forces perpetuate life on the planet.

We need a physical body to reach enlightenment. The physical body is the place where all the forces from the other dimensions join together so they can be transformed. The force we need to liberate the power, the energy that will awaken the consciousness and give us the spiritual sight that we need is enclosed in the root chakra- trapped, asleep. This is where the Kundalini rests and waits for us to come and awaken it.

The creative power of God is sex. The sexual energy when polarized negatively traps the consciousness in hell. Only a couple working together can experience this energy. The second birth is the reemergence back to Eden. The rule is to save your sexual energy.

Kundalini is the intelligence of God. The Kundalini only arises, only arrives to those who deserve it. And those who deserve that enter into a very different experience of life. Someone who has this energy active within them does not see life the way normal people do. The Kundalini opens our spiritual eyes. It is the doorway back to Eden.

Reference~ The Fire of Kundalini Gnostic Teachings, full lecture
https://youtu.be/i63rHV-n8N0