The Death of Me

this love
can never die
it is permanently
written down
but i will die
of a broken heart
because you
never wrote back

I Shall Be What You Can't Imagine

imagine me in a position of power and influence. imagine me accomplishing all of my dreams that i said i would accomplish. imagine me better off without you in my life. imagine the look on your face when you realize my self worth. imagine the satisfaction i will feel when you realize your own error. imagine my words being shared with millions. imagine your role in my story casting you as the villain for the whole world to remember. imagine every harsh word, look, and act from you being the catalyst for everything that i shall be that you can't imagine.

Float Away

Oh, Beloved, you come
to me completely naked
and whisper in my ear
your deepest fear
I looked into your eyes
and held you to me
your eyes reflecting in them
an island in the distance
I join you there
and together
we float away

Rupi Kaur- Made Heavy

you tell me to quiet down cause
my opinions make me less beautiful
but i was not made with a fire
in my belly
so i could be put out
i was not made with a lightness
on my tongue
so i could be easy to swallow
i was made heavy
half blade and half silk
difficult to forget
and not easy
for the mind to follow

Reference~ Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

Sapphire's Letter To Arion: Let the Assassin In

Beloved,

To ache for you Beloved is the same as aching for God. Yearning for you has become my obsession. I have immortalized you in my poetry Beloved because my grief is unbearable. I also desire to touch, as closely as I can, the bliss I felt in your immortal soul's embrace. Do you think Darling that the ache that burns in me, that my readers will recognize the same ache that burns inside of them?

How long, my Love, have you waited to hear my words on your longing ears? How long have I waited Darling to look again into your eyes and see the ocean?

There comes a time when a person decides to become real. Friends will fall away and even family members become strangers. God has been calling to me, whispering to my heart, "Let the assassin in. Love wants to execute you, transform you from the inside out. You will lose yourself and you will find yourself. The beloved wants to join with your soul now, not after you die."

Everyday Beloved we sin, but tomorrow God could turn our sin into bliss. Does not everything that happens to us, move us closer to God? All is well my Love, all is well.

Your Darling

Curious

I'm very curious...
I'm curious about these little bugs
that are crawling up my wall.
Where do they come from?

I'm curious as to why
it's still very hot in Phoenix
and it's almost November.

I'm curious as to what 
my kids think about
throughout their day
and who they will 
turn out to be.

I'm curious what plans
God has for me after divorce.

I'm curious about why
time feels like it's speeding up.

I'm curious how all of a sudden
my face has brown spots that
seemed to appear over night.

I'm curious as to why
he even married me
and desperately wanted
out of our marriage.

I'm curious as to how
I hate him and miss him
both at the same time.
 

Resting Bitch Face

My bent thoughts 
have permanently disfigured my face
My broken heart
is reflected in my eyes
Written all over
my face is BITCH!

It took millions of years
for water to carve out the Grand Canyon
It only took one year of bitter tasting tears
to carve out a resting bitch face on mine

Live The Questions

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.
Don't search for the answers, for they could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps, then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it; live your way into the answer. 

Reference~ Rainer Marie Rilke

Waiting

Yes, I am waiting for you and while I sit here and wait...
I am reading a book,
meditating,
doing yoga,
walking,
working,
healing,
looking up at the moon,
indulging in a bowl of ice cream,
writing my next book,
cleaning my house,
going to counseling,
netflixing Grey's Anatomy,
daydreaming,
listening to Dido, Christine Perri, Ed Sheeran-
over and over again.
And in this space of waiting,
I am making room for you.