From Journal Entry 1/18/2007
I'm covered in tattoos. I'm looking at my tattoos in the mirror. Then I'm lying in bed next to my husband. I experience a full body orgasm. Then we're in jail with a blond girl. She wants out of jail. She tells my husband she loves him and wants to marry. I get the feeling she wants rescued. We leave her in jail.
I asked my husband if he was having an affair. He lied and said no. The woman in the dream was a client he had done work for. She was a blond with tattoos.
Later I found out that the affair started four months before I had the dream. It lasted for almost a year. I became pregnant with our second child shortly after I had the dream. The lies kept piling up and I became deeply depressed.
I'm covered in tattoos. I'm looking at my tattoos in the mirror. Then I'm lying in bed next to my husband. I experience a full body orgasm. Then we're in jail with a blond girl. She wants out of jail. She tells my husband she loves him and wants to marry. I get the feeling she wants rescued. We leave her in jail.
I asked my husband if he was having an affair. He lied and said no. The woman in the dream was a client he had done work for. She was a blond with tattoos.
Later I found out that the affair started four months before I had the dream. It lasted for almost a year. I became pregnant with our second child shortly after I had the dream. The lies kept piling up and I became deeply depressed.
I feared losing my baby because of all the stress. I didn't know if I was going to be alone raising two children. All I could do to get through my pregnancy was walk in my yard, pray, and cry. I felt I was living in hell. I didn't want to burden family and friends with my crisis, so I turned to God. I prayed he would give me strength to get through it and I prayed for my marriage to be saved.
I then had to see my own fault and role that I played at my failing marriage. In a single night spent talking with my husband, we got to the root of who we were as individuals. We 'dumped' all our feelings, secrets, and thoughts out on each other. As hard as it was to hear the truth, we both felt we finally had something real to rebuild our marriage.
It's not an easy thing to hear your husband say he loves another woman. He said he also loved me and that there was enough love in his heart to love two women. There was a ring of truth in his words, but the love he had with this other woman was built on a bed of lies.
God did restore our marriage. I know my husband genuinely loves me and does so unconditionally. The worst thing that happened to me, turned out to be a true blessing. My relationship with God deepened and I found myself.
When we spend time getting to know God, we discover who he is and what he wants for our lives- and his plans are far better than any we could dream for ourselves.~ Denise Jackson
Proverb 8:11 Seek wisdom everyday. Make right choices and you won't live with regrets.
