My Kundalini Awakening

From Journal Entry 4-29-2007

I am in what I perceive to be my astral body. I am with the stars. I meet with my counterpart. Our colors are vibrant blues and purples. We merge together spiraling upwards. I passed away into my Beloved- no longer am I able to distinguish myself separate from him. It was pure ecstasy.

During this time in my life I was fighting to save my marriage. It was out of complete hopelessness, despair, and loneliness that triggered my spontaneous kundalini. My search for spiritual truth led to my awakening. I met God through my Beloved. Never would I be the same.

Kundalini awakening can be prompted by the stress of a psychological crisis. A new level of awareness is reached. It is a moment that changes everything. Your 'old self'' dies and you are born again.

Kundalini awakens bodily sensations and impulses that come into an awareness in a way never experienced before. During the bliss state, we may feel as though the Beloved within is a real lover, who awakens each part of the self to sensuous rapture or ecstasy. We are swallowed up into a larger awareness of the Absolute, our being is complete. We emerge with new eyes to see the world with.

Kundalini's power has to do with stripping away our illusions of separateness and our attachments to our personal history. It transforms, anxiety, and unhappiness into spiritual energy. It transforms the human into the divine.

Kundalini- a snake that resides at the base of the spine and whose journey upward leads to the opening of the crown and enlightenment.

Reference~ Kundalini Rising Exploring the Energy of Awakening

My Dream of My Grandfather

From Journal Entry December 16,1998

Had a dream about Grandpa. He was sad- full of regrets. He wasn't happy about the last 50 years. I assured him that those last 50 years brought him grand kids that deeply love him. I was very emotional.

My grandfather and I had a very close bond. He took the leading male role after my parents divorced at the age of 9. He had made great sacrifices for my brother and I. His marriage to my grandmother was difficult. She was unstable due to mental illness. This took a toll on my grandfather's spirit. My mother (his daughter) was legally blind and did not drive. My grandfather drove us around a lot. We relied on him. Out of his devotion and love for God he paved the way for all of us to have a better life. Not many men would of stayed in that situation.

I moved away from home at age 15. My visits back home were far and in between. I often dreamt about him over the years. Even after his death in 2005 he continued to visit me in my dreams.

 

Altered State- Finding Letter

From Journal Entry: 1999

I am in a dream like state. I am walking over to my closet doors and notice a letter taped on one of the doors. It's a full page written in a child's hand. I only remember the first sentence. It reads:

Dear Big Brother and Lil Sis,
You have created segregation and degradation.

I believe that 'Big Brother' refers to government. 'Lil Sis' is the undeveloped feminine attributes that the Big Brother lacks to balance out a system that is patriarchy. Segregation is defined as the practice of compelling racial groups to live apart from each other. Degradation is defined as corrupting of moral character. This is what mankind has created- not God.

In the Gospel of Mary we hear what Jesus response is on sin. Peter poses the question "Tell us one thing. What is the sin of the world?" The Savior replies, "There is no such thing as sin, rather you yourselves are what produces sin when you act in accordance with the nature of adultery, which is called 'sin'. For this reason, the Good came among you, pursuing the good which belongs to every nature. It will set it within its root."

To give in to our own ego and adulterate our path means you are not living up to your spirituality. Interesting enough before writing this I came across an article about Qaddafi. In it he is referred to as 'Brother Leader' of Libya.

References~The Two Marys by Sylvia Browne
The Economist Issue Feb 26-March 4 2011