Madison Meadows Spiritual Blog: A Journey into Mysticism, Dreams, Twin Flames, & Healing

  From Journal Entry11/12/2025 I was taking a nap, and somewhere in that in-between space—half asleep, half awake—I became aware that I was dreaming. I kept telling myself, Michelle, wake up. I remember shaking my head, trying to pull myself out of it, but the dream kept pulling me deeper. In the dream, I was walking around my house, aware that I was dreaming, and suddenly this wave of sadness came over me. I started to cry. I missed my kids when they were little. I could feel that ache deep in my heart—the kind that only a mother understands. It’s not just missing their small voices or their little hands reaching for mine, but missing that version of myself, too. The mother I was back then. The seasons we lived together. Then something extraordinary happened—I could hear myself singing somewhere else in the house. My voice sounded so beautiful, so peaceful. I thought, Wow, I actually sound good singing. And then I wondered—am I singing to myself? Or am I singing to my childr...

  From Journal Entry 8/20/2025   In the dream, I was in my home or what felt like my home. But it didn’t look exactly the same. The energy of the space was familiar, yet transformed, as if I had stepped into another version of reality. From the kitchen, I heard the warm hum of women’s voices, soft laughter, and conversation. When I walked in, I saw about thirty women gathered around the island. They were chatting, smiling, radiating light. The air felt charged with awareness and peace, almost like everyone there already knew why we had gathered. I became aware that I was dreaming. I was completely lucid. So I asked, “Who here knows that we’re lucid dreaming right now? That our human selves are asleep back on Earth in 3D, while we’re consciously meeting here?” Most of the women raised their hands. They all knew. That moment touched me deeply. I could feel this collective awareness. Like we were all participating in something bigger than just my own dream. It fel...

  Dreams often speak in the language of symbols and emotion. When animals or familiar places appear, they carry messages from deep within our subconscious. From Journal Entry 10/28/2025 I was standing inside my childhood home, but it didn’t feel cold or painful like the memories I carry from there. Instead, it was filled with life. Dozens of stray cats of all colors and ages, were wandering freely through the rooms. Some were timid, some bold. Some seemed lost, and others looked at me with quiet trust. I remember feeling an overwhelming urge to care for them. I wanted to feed them, comfort them, and make them feel safe.   When I woke up, I knew this dream carried a sacred message. My childhood home was not a place of emotional safety. It was a space marked by trauma. The kind of environment that teaches a child to hide their softness, silence their truth, and live in survival mode. To dream of that house again could have felt like returning to the scene of old w...

  Real love doesn’t play games. It doesn’t entertain options or divide its attention. It knows what it wants and moves toward it with steady devotion. When the true masculine and feminine energies meet in their healed form.... Something ancient stirs. A force older than time awakens. Divine alignment begins. Mind, body, soul, and spirit move in one rhythm. They feel one another’s essence… and long to pour into one another: Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. A love rooted in the desire to witness each other become the greatest version of Self.  A love where safety meets fire, where freedom meets devotion. One holds space. The other softens. One grounds. The other expands. And together, they rise. This is what happens when two sovereign beings are ready: ✨ Ready to stop performing. ✨ Ready to show up with truth, clarity, and consistency. ✨ Ready to love from wholeness. No masks. No half-hearted energy. No confusion. Fully present. Fully chosen. Fully alive. We walk side by si...

" Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so  beautiful that it terrifies them. Sometimes they leave because  the connection shines a bright  light on their dark places and  they are not ready to work them  through. Sometimes they run away because  they are not developmentally  prepared to merge with another, they have more individuation work  to do first.  Sometimes they take off because  love is not a priority in their lives;  they have another path and  purpose to walk first.  Sometimes they end it because  they prefer a relationship that is  more practical than conscious,  one that does not threaten the  ways that they organize reality.  Because so many of us carry  shame, we have a tendency to  personalize love's leavings,  triggered by the rejection and  feelings of abandonment.  But this is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do  with us. Som...

We meet thousands of faces in a lifetime, yet only a few leave an imprint on the soul. It is not beauty or words that bind us, it is the invisible thread of recognition. The quiet way a heart understands another without explanation. True connection is rare. It does not ask for perfection, it asks for presence. It is not built in grand gestures, but in the small moments of honesty, kindness, and loyalty. In the end, love is not about finding someone to complete you. It is about finding someone who reminds you that you were whole all along. — Chamod Senevirathne   

One day... you’ll come across someone who truly sees you for who you are. Not just the polished version you present to the world, but the raw, unfiltered parts of you that you sometimes hide. This person won’t ask you to shrink yourself or change just to fit into their life. They’ll love you exactly as you are... flaws, quirks, scars, and all. With them, there will be no begging for attention, no constant need to prove your worth, no exhausting fight just to earn affection. Love won’t feel like a competition or a battlefield. Instead, it will feel calm, steady, and deeply reassuring. It will feel like something that was always meant to be... natural and effortless, like two souls finally finding their way back home. This love will not confuse you or make you question if you’re enough. It won’t keep you chasing after validation or second-guessing where you stand. Instead, it will bring peace to your heart. You’ll feel valued and appreciated, not only for your strengths but also for the ...

Love chooses you... It happens, and that's it.  It doesn't matter if it's the right time or not. If he has a character opposite to yours... If he is twice your age, or half. If he lives on the other side of the world... If it's the best, or the worst, thing that could happen to you... It doesn't matter. Love comes like that.  He doesn't ask your permission. He asks nothing. He chooses you. Love is not just an attraction or a choice... It is not linked to beauty, intelligence, good qualities... Ohh no. Love is a connection, a magical vibration, a mystical force, a unique current, a storm of emotions, a huge landslide. Love is like life... It's everything we didn't choose. Love is free and indomitable… You no longer master or control anything.  This is also how you recognize it... It lives in you, haunts you, even when you try to chase it away... It is he who takes control of your heart and your thoughts. And the best, and the wisest, is to surrender to it...

Your marriage is the reflection of your wounds. If you feel stuck, it means you are carrying unhealed parts of yourself into your relationship. When two people come together, they don’t just bring love and dreams, they also bring pain, fears, and patterns from childhood. Marriage becomes a mirror that reflects back everything you have not yet healed within yourself. That is why many couples feel like they are living the same fights again and again. It’s not because love is missing—it’s because healing is missing. Until the wounds inside are acknowledged and held, no amount of effort can create deep intimacy. Every argument is not about your partner; it’s about your inner child who feels unseen, unheard, or unloved. Every distance you feel is not a lack of love, but a signal from your soul that something within you is waiting to be embraced. Marriage was never meant to be a battlefield. It was meant to be a safe home where two souls grow together. But if wounds lead the way, even love c...

  On the pathway into deep intimacy, there are many challenges that must be navigated. One of these is the presence of avoidance. “That’s them, not me”… I can already hear those who err on the side of more anxiety, cry. For those who believe, who yearn, who ache for love and connection and enduring relationships, the notion of avoidance is one that is externalised to ‘them’, those we are trying to love, who somehow despite whatever we do, won’t give us what we want.  However there is a much more confronting reality… Avoidance is present in pretty much all of us. Anxious attachment is a form of avoidance… as the self-contorting, self-abandoning, volatile nature of this attachment style actually impedes rather than fosters intimacy.  Trying to make it work with unsuitable partners is a form of avoidance. Fantasising about and pursuing unavailable others is a form of avoidance. Keeping an eye out always for greener pastures, for that perfect and most ideal one, is a form of ...

From Journal Entry 8/22/20025   I'm lucid. I'm in a house with people I know. The time period is years ago, around the time when I met my twin flame. I was young, and he was just dating his current wife. She was there, too. They were in a back room together of a house. I was aware that I was in a past time period. I was holding a photograph in my hand. And the photograph was of the past that depicted that current time period and where I was. I was debating in my head whether I should go talk to him. I was a little scared. I told myself this is my chance. So, I go find him, and I tell him I need to talk to him in private. We go outside and I tell him that I'm actually from the future, and that a lot of time has passed. I show him the photograph. I tell him that we will be basically in a relationship for the next 30 years and it will be kind of complicated. A lot of it won't make sense because it's not a physical relationship, in 30 years from now it will make sense. ...

M y son recently moved out. I can't help but reflect on the last 21 years. And I'm asking myself, what has he taught me. More than anything he has shown me what a healthy masculine looks like. He's gentle, consistent, considerate, loving, patient, kind, thoughtful, and strong. I'm proud of the man he is becoming and feel blessed to be the woman that raised him. I know he's got all his dad's good qualities.  I know though that he's got a quiet reflective nature within him that leads me to think he did learn something from me. I will leave it at that.  I came across a journal entry that I wrote when he was twelve. I think a lot of boy moms will relate to it's simple yet reflective message. All those moments behind you. Now those daily interactions you had with him mean so much more. They're forever in your memory. Journal Entry 2016 Son,  While you're away at camp, I won't miss your stinky socks in the middle of the floor. Your urine stains aro...

Psychology says it takes 15 months and 27 days to forget someone who you love with all your heart. That’s because love isn’t just a passing emotion—it’s a deep, emotional bond built through shared moments, trust, laughter, vulnerability, and countless memories that become part of your identity. When you give someone your heart, they occupy a space in your life that isn’t easily replaced. They’re woven into your daily habits, the songs you listen to, the places you go, and even the way you think. When that person is gone, you don’t just lose them—you lose the version of yourself that existed with them. The healing process is rarely quick. It’s a slow, often painful journey of untangling your emotions, detaching from the hope of what could have been, and facing the emptiness they’ve left behind. Some days you’ll miss them so much it physically aches; other days, you’ll surprise yourself with how far you’ve come. Those 15 months and 27 days aren’t just about forgetting—they’re about relea...

Just because you get thousands of likes on your profile picture will not keep a man.  Being honest about things in your past will not keep a man.  Being faithful and loyal since day one doesn't keep a man.  Treating a man better than he's ever been treated before doesn't keep a man.  Making an effort every single day to make sure he knows you truly care will not keep a man.  Giving him all of your time that you can spare, doesn't keep a man.  You could have the best intentions in the world and could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be the most perfect woman in existence and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man.  The only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you.  With a man, you can tell he wants to be kept when the relationship gets very hard and he does everything to fight for you.  A man only fights for a woman he wants to belong to, so if he isn't fighting for you when things get hard, then that means he d...

Have you heard bells in dreams? This could be a doorbell, church bells, or a ringing of a phone. These sounds in dreams alert us of something important that is about to happen or needs  immediate attention now. They can also invite us to connect with loved ones. How do you interpret the message? That depends on the bell and how you feel when you hear it. Here's some common dream themes of bells. Phone Ringing . To hear a phone ring will indicate an important message from a loved one or friend is soon to arrive. You soon will get important news.  Depending on your feeling in the dream it will indicate if the news is favorable or unfavorable.   Wedding Bells . Hearing wedding bells is good. They indicate a new beginning.  Perhaps a new relationship. Maybe you're entering a new phase in life and are transitioning spiritually coupled with growth. Wedding bells can denote a period of joy and bliss coming.  Welcome these bells with an open heart. Doorbells . The ...

The more bills a woman pays by herself, the less attractive men become to her...not because she’s lost her desire for partnership, but because she’s grown tired of shouldering the weight alone. Every bill paid without help is a reminder that the kind of support and teamwork she hoped for isn’t there. It chips away at her hope for a partnership where burdens are shared, where love means showing up not just in words but in action. When a woman carries her financial responsibilities solo, she learns to rely on herself in ways she never thought she would. She builds resilience, independence, and a fierce determination to create the life she wants without waiting for anyone to catch up. But with every step she takes alone, the idea of depending on a man loses its appeal. Why invite someone in when you already handle the heavy lifting? Why lower her standards when she knows what it means to be strong on her own? Men become less attractive because she’s no longer looking for someone to simply...

A thousand cuts inflicted on myself for your one Pain being the only true measurement  Of what was real  And yet so much remains unknown I may never know if you felt pain Pain of loving  The pain of remembering  And the pain of losing me But I did  And still do for you What has changed  Is that another love Has stepped in Taken your place Your memory still in me But no longer consumes me Sometimes I wonder If you sent him to me Because it was the only act of love You could do for me How strange love is It binds me to you And now to him Our fates all sealed And joined

1. True Intimacy Requires Emotional Presence Being emotionally present means fully experiencing and expressing your emotions in the moment, without suppression or distraction. True intimacy flourishes when we allow ourselves to be seen as we truly are. 2. Vulnerability is Strength, Not Weakness Many people fear vulnerability because they associate it with weakness. However, being vulnerable—openly expressing fears, desires, and insecurities—builds trust and deepens relationships. 3. Emotional Avoidance Blocks Intimacy When we suppress difficult emotions or avoid deep conversations, we create distance in our relationships. Facing emotions, even the painful ones, is key to fostering true connection. 4. Self-Intimacy is the Foundation of Relationship Intimacy Before we can form deep connections with others, we must first cultivate a deep understanding and acceptance of ourselves. Emotional intimacy begins with self-awareness and self-compassion. 5. Healing Old Wounds Creates Space for Lov...

From Journal Entry 11/21/24 I had a dream right after I met my boyfriend. In the dream, I cancelled my wedding. A big box of gifts arrived from my uncle and my cousin. I forgot to tell them I cancelled the wedding, and don't know if I should return the gifts. In the dream, I was going to marry Michael Jackson. I was very content with my decision. I was not upset.  Cancelling a wedding in a dream often reflects a change in commitment or a major decision being reconsidered. Since this happened after meeting my boyfriend, it could reflect an unconscious shift—maybe letting go of past expectations or imagined futures. It might represent the part of me that is opening up to something new (my current relationship) and moving away from a previous internal plan or idea of the future. Gifts in dreams often symbolize emotional support, inherited values, or blessings from my family. Forgetting to tell my uncle and cousin  could point to some tension about how my changing path (perhaps ...

" The truth is, you don’t love the same way twice. You don’t give the same parts of yourself to everyone, and you won’t. Some people will meet parts of you that someone hasn’t, and that some never will. It’s the beauty of connection, you will never share the same love twice. Some will peel away the layers to reveal your vulnerability, others will strengthen the walls you built. Some will be fleeting, others will linger in your heart. But ultimately, no one will imprint you the same or hold the same weight. Each love leaves an authentic mark, a lesson learned, or a truth revealed. Some teach you how to trust again, others remind you why you needed to protect your heart in the first place. Some will make you feel seen, others make you feel invisible. It’s not until you truly see yourself, you truly value every love that passes through without being bitter about goodbyes that come with some. Every love has a way of teaching you, breaking you, and shaping you into someone new. Someone...

From Journal Entry  6/14/2025 I open a holy book. There's a verse that catches my eye that reads, "Stop thy! The America devil land." This dream is spiritual and therefore a warning to America. It is a call to our nation for repentance. For us to stop and turn back towards God. We, as a nation, are on a path of self destruction. If we don't stop our moral decay judgment will follow.   Devil land refers to how we have embraced evil. When mankind forgets God he then must face judgment.  We are a nation that can be likened to Babylon.  We must abandon our wicked ways and turn towards righteousness.  What could punishment look like for our nation? It could come in the form of economic collapse, moral decay, famine, disease, or natural disasters.  In short, God is warning us that our time is short. Turn away from your wicked ways.  Repent. For the time is near for judgment.   Remember God is a merciful God. He longs for us to come home, and in doi...

Women with absent fathers often become beggars for love, safety, and security. It’s heartbreaking how deeply they invest themselves in others, hoping that their love will be returned, hoping to finally feel chosen, protected, and seen. They carry a silent ache—an invisible wound that whispers....Maybe if I give more, they’ll stay. Maybe if I’m good enough, they’ll love me. This voice doesn’t come from who they are today, but from the little girl inside them who kept looking out the window, waiting for someone who never came. Their love becomes a currency—they trade affection, loyalty, and even their own boundaries just to feel held. They over-give, over-function, and over-apologize, hoping that one day, someone will finally choose to stay without conditions. The absence of a father doesn’t just leave a physical void—it creates emotional gaps that women often try to fill with partners, friends, or even strangers. But what’s missing isn’t just a person—it’s the early belief that they are...

One day, you’ll come to understand that some people are simply one of a kind. They don’t come around twice. They can’t be replaced. And once they’re gone, no one else will feel quite the same. We live in a world that celebrates moving on like people are easily swapped out, like connections are disposable. But the truth is, certain bonds leave a mark on your soul. They saw you, understood you, brought out something no one else could. Losing that kind of person isn’t just about losing them it’s losing a part of yourself that only existed in their presence. Sometimes, we hurt those closest to us. Not because they deserved it, but because we didn’t know how to hold their love properly. We assume they’ll always forgive, always come back, but not everyone waits. Not everyone gives endless chances. Some walk away silently, carrying their hurt in quiet dignity, and by the time you realize what they meant to you, their absence has already become permanent. You’ll search for pieces of them in ot...

M ovement unlocks the mysteries of life. Life moves in all directions: up and down, side to side, in and out. There is an invisible breath in all movement. It can bring love, joy, and laughter.  It all depends on the movement. The outer reflects the inner. Dance your song but do so in a way that you identify not with the dancing itself. Allow the movement to carry your soul to highs and lows. Breathe in each direction deeply with purpose.  So that only love, joy, and laughter fill your soul. ~ From Journal Entry 2016

F rom Journal Entry 5/5/2025 I had an astral projection where I was on a planet similar to Earth. There was music playing that sounded like Taylor Swift. People, mostly young adults, that looked like humans were in a bar with arcade games. I walked over to a table and asked the guy where I was. He said Siloh. There were movie posters on the wall. The fact that the music was similar to pop music and that the people looked human suggest I may have tuned into a dimension or world that mirrors ours in culture but isn't identical. Like a reality where things evolved slightly differently. With all the familiar activities like on Earth... the movie posters, socializing in a bar, and music playing could suggest the environment was similar to everyday life on Earth. Like a place where the culture mirrors ours but isn't an exact replica. A parallel world is defined as a hypothetical self-contained reality that exists alongside our own universe it may have different physical laws Mysterie...