True vulnerability is not easy. We are wired to protect ourselves from getting hurt. We will lie, hide, pretend, cry, yell, and even fight to keep from feeling judged or exposed. It's extremely difficult to create emotional intimacy and connection when we struggle to trust someone else enough to just be ourselves without fear of rejection or abandonment.
How much do we really love or even like ourselves? How you can tell is based on how open you are about who you really are. If you feel unworthy, unlovable or inadequate, then you will feel that others will judge you as such as well and validate your negative beliefs about yourself. It's hard to let yourself love someone that you don't feel good enough for. Having flaws and weaknesses exposed can be terrifying for someone who lacks confidence and hasn't learned to intimately accept themselves.
What's worse than living with insecurity and anxiety is living without real love. Love is what frees us from judgement, guilt, shame and toxicity. Love is what allows us to evolve and reach our greater potential. Love is what lifts us out of despair and brings us hope. Love is what teaches us to accept ourselves and others because empathy is far more powerful than our fragile ego.
The way that you love yourself will determine how you love, who you love and what your unmet needs are. It all starts with you and how brave and strong you choose to be and continue to be despite loss, rejection, loneliness or even trauma. Love is truly the only remedy for our heartache. Imagine having a partner who knows you, understands you, protects you, accepts all of you and makes you feel safe to just be yourself. If you really want that, then what are you doing to treat yourself the way that you want to be treated by someone else? By practicing self love, you are teaching yourself how to show up with the same kind of unconditional love and acceptance for someone else. You can learn how to be open to the kind of love that you've always wanted. Love is the gift that's meant to be shared.
- Sunil KS
